ThatGrrl

Two of the interview questions from the Cemetery Travel site. Read the interviews and find more questions on the site.

What’s your favorite thing to do in a cemetery?

What would your epitaph be?

If I were younger and still more romantic, my favourite thing to do in a cemetery would be a picnic. You would need to come prepared, not just the usual picnic things. You might check in with the people who maintain the land and be sure a picnic is welcome there.

Next, once you are there, find a good spot. Cemetery land tends to be knobby and bumpy. You might think its all manicured, perfect cared for lawns, its not always the case. Usually they are knobby due to insects, weeds, and no doubt other things I don't know about. You won't want too much shade or sun and a sunny day will at least save you from mosquitos.

I would not plan it as a Gothic looking thing. I don't see it as a gloomy event.

Now, at this age, I like visiting cemeteries just for photography. Finding the oldest stones, even those I can't read due to weathering or plant growth. Sometimes I can read them better from the photograph I take. I also look for ornate carved or sculpted stones. I especially like those with stone flowers. Its nice to see what people have planted around the stones too, or if they have left pennies, pebbles or other little mementos on the gravestone.

I'm not ready to write my epitaph. I'd like to visit, as a ghost or whatever is available, and read what others have written.

Listening to people, family, and the media go on about your life and health as you get older, some days it feels like living with a jack-in-the-box. Any time it could pop up and that's it your time is up. I'm going to be 60 at the end of this year. I do wonder how many days I still have. I don't feel stressed about it but, I don't like it.

I wonder if there have been people who also didn't like the unknown date lurking in their future. Has anyone ever decided they didn't like the suspense and chosen their own expiry date? Not due to despair, or ill health. Just because you don't want to leave it random and unknown.

I don't think its suicide. It's not a decision made due to sadness, or ill health. I don't think its morbid either. Younger people may see it that way. Your experience is different. But, unless immortality becomes an option, I think its entirely reasonable.

Compare it to doctors deciding a birth date for babies by scheduling a caesarian for women. They don't know what the real birth date would have been, if the baby had been left in the womb until it made its own way, in its own time. I think choosing your own death date would be the same really.

You could have all your affairs in order, make sure your will is done right, write instructions for your funeral, burial, or whatever you want done with your leftover body. Decide where your possessions go, are distributed, knowing there isn't much of anything you can take with you. Spend that extra time with family and friends you've kept meaning to visit but didn't make time for. If you are a bucket list person, finish your list. Find a good spot and plant a tree! Otherwise, do those things you'd like to have done, travel to those places you would have liked to see, knowing your plan for how many days you've decided you have left.

In the end, you might choose to extend the date. There would be not reason you couldn't. That alone would be a good reason not to tell anyone else about what you're doing and the cut off date. Who wants someone reminding you about it. You might change your mind entirely. But, if you wanted to stick to your date and not keep waiting for it to come along and happen to you - why shouldn't a person take their own fate in their own hands and choose their last day for themselves?