I’ve Done My Time

First day of the new job today. It isn’t so different from the work I was doing on cash at Zellers. But, It pays a LOT better and I don’t have to stand there like some moving target all day long. The next two weeks I am making $10 an hour for the training and then I’m getting $11 an hour with the prospect of a quarterly raise (40 cents an hour). That is much better than Zellers. I went into Zellers at the end of today and bought a new alarm clock. I spent more than I would have on a Zellers grrl wage. It felt nice. I wanted to tell some of those sales associates to pack it in and go apply at NuComm. But, someone has to work at Zellers, I did my time there.

Things are getting sorted out after the move. Sort of.

Looking at that old photo of myself I feel more inspired to try losing weight again. I think it will have to wait till November when my Mother is likely to be gone back down to Florida again. We seem to be eating buddies and it’s not good for losing weight.

She suggested getting me a car once I had a job here in Barrie. I would pay her back as if it were a bank loan. Having a car would be excellent, though a big expense. I just can’t see myself not having one and not being able to drive out to Newmarket to see family there or take road trips for more old and abandoned houses. So, a car is important.

Merry Jingle Bells

For some reason jingle bells are making me think of nipples today. Guess where my mind is…? No, not there. I haven’t even started Christmas shopping and I actually don’t have to do any. So there. I am going to magically crochet things and people will be awed and amazed and eternally grateful for my creative genius.

The brother who is the landlord is now talking about selling the building to the people who live upstairs and are always late paying the rent. They started talking about the idea. So, I may be moving again. I only moved here in November really. I’m just having the real vagabond life. I should try to get rid of nearly everything I own, including myself and that would make moving so much less complicated. Living would be easier too. If you could stop caring about silly things like stability, life would be simple and care free.

But, in reality… I just don’t want to think about it any more. Avoidance therapy. Works well, for awhile.

I came back from being away this afternoon. Not too much mess from the workmen down here. I will need to wash the floor but I’m leaving it with a sweeping for now. At least it’s not a carpet I’d have to shampoo and generally fuss over. It seems there is a thin layer of cruddy dust over everything though. Who knows what chemical toxic waste that could be, leftover from new furnace installation and tubing added to the ceiling. Not that it stopped me from making coffee after giving the pot a sentimental swish with water. After all, something is going to kill me eventually. Why not quit resisting so hard. Resistance is futile, just ask the Borgs.

I’m not feeling down, too much. Stressed, somewhat. I’d never want to be a kid again but it would be nice to ship back in time and have that nice feeling of knowing someone else is there to take care of all the minor details like where to live and keeping bills paid for you. You can’t say being married is the solution any more. Women work now, it’s expected. I think it’s rare to be a stay at home type of housekeeping women these days. Yet, it was nice while it lasted. Nice for kids to grow up with someone there and nice for who ever is home to be there and know the home and kids are being cared for. But, we progress…

I miss the car so much. I don’t mind taking the TTC. Waiting for the bus on a frigidly cold day isn’t fun exactly. But, when I’m not fretting about being on time for anything (or know I’m already early) it’s okay. I can check the maps and plan a route which doesn’t leave me waiting outside for long. Still, it doesn’t compare to the car. I really would have liked to have the car this past weekend while I was visiting Zack and the screaming girls we know as his little step-sisters. Zack wanted me to stay another day and I died a little having to leave that boy who is soon going to be a teenager and never a boy again.

I don’t know what I’m going to get doing now. I feel like I’m in some endless cycle where everything I try gets pulled out from under me as soon as I begin to make some progress. But, that’s progress. Change. I found two interesting men through Craigslist. Not the personals (which I am giving up on finally and completely as anything but sad entertainment) but from my post about urban exploration. Funny that I am still getting posts/ email from that original post. It must still show up on Craigslist though they say any posts expire after a month or something. Mine should be long gone I would have thought. It was from October.

Anyway, it gives me hope that I can still meet someone. Maybe the key isn’t looking for men looking for women but in looking for men who share my interests and who are looking for someone to spend time wtih, sharing those interests. I think the men posting personals have forgotten that sex isn’t enough when you want to find someone to live alongside of you. You can buy sex, you can’t buy laughter, conversation, time and romance. You may think you can but, trust me, I’ve talked to the women who sell sex and they only offer sex, no matter what those guys may wish for on the side.

Anyway, I should get to work on writing now. I need to type a letter for the brother and then email it to him so he can take it into the insurance duds (not a typo) tomorrow. Then I want to flesh in more of the story I began before the weekend and the renovations here.

What I would most like for Christmas is stability. I don’t want to be a vagabond any more. Day trips and weekends away would be fine, instead of endless moving with no end in sight. I want a place to come home to and it would be really nice if there was a guy there with a nice smile, warm hands and good conversation. How do other people make it look so easy?

Step Right Up… Last Day of November!

What kind of a month has it been for you?

I finally moved mostly everything I own into this basement apartment. Still a lot to organize but I’ve been procrastinating. Partly due to a lack of drawers to put things away into. Partly cause I don’t feel like this is home. Today I had a wood louse on my floor. Those are bugs that look like pill bugs but can’t actually roll up into a pill. They like damp, dark places and wood to nibble on. I don’t have a lot of rotting wood but it is dark and a touch dampish. I have a space heater and I have a water sucker thing (humidifier is not the right word for it – I think it’s the water mister thing).

I am looking for work, not as hard as I could be, but looking. I applied at a few places, some of them online writing jobs which may not pay very much. I’m not sure yet.

I have a stockade of tomato soup that I’m sure someone, somewhere would be jealous of. Luckily, I like tomato soup now, I haven’t always. I also have really nice salsa but I have to nibble at it carefully cause the raw onions make me sick. Tomorrow I need to buy more coffee and some other groceries. Woman can not live on tomato soup and salsa alone.

My Christmas tree is sitting in it’s original ‘White Rose Santa’s Choice’ box. I am not putting up anything Christmas until at least December, officially the day after today. I might wait till closer to my birthday, if not that day itself. I’m going to have a kind of stingy birthday this year. In the past I have treated myself well on some occasions: twice I stayed at a hotel downtown overnight and ate out somewhere deluxe, blew money on books and other trinkets I could have done without. A couple of times I bought a Greyhound bus ticket and road (bus) tripped my way across Canada, staying at the Youth Hostels. This time I will settle for something less travelicious. Maybe dinner out with a good book.

I am caving on the whole idea of meeting anyone, penis included. What is wrong with men in their 40’s anyway? It seems like the decade of the shallow, selfish perverts. I’m sure they can’t all be that way. At least that’s my theory and I do have one or two test specimens to prove it. Of course, I haven’t met them in the flesh, face to face. Maybe all those other guys seem normal from a safe distance too.

It’s beginning to tick me off, just beginning and mildly, that John has not replied to any of my emails. Last time I heard from him was in July. I have tried to put him out of my limited brain space. It’s not working. All I have to do is read his last email and all my questions come forth again. He seemed so sincere and not that standard guy I keep meeting. He seemed to really want to meet ME. The me that I am not the me that I try to become for those sap suckers. It’s frustrating to find someone who seems almost too good to be true and then find out he never really existed or just vanished into some time warp or was sucked up by aliens, or something.

Don’t think I’m all doom and gloomy. I’m doing ok. I felt yucky today and went back to bed. How many people can do that? It was nice. I woke up feeling much better and with a plan of action about the job searching thing. We’ll see how that latest one goes over. I emailed it away a few hours ago. Then I wasted time playing Neopets and watching people shoot each other on TV. Now it’s late enough to go to bed but I feel that would be a bit too much slacking off after I got up late and had a nap. So I’m writing a bit of this and that. It’s too early to get out there for the bus. I may hop out if I stay up till 5:30 or so. Places open for breakfast at 6:00 you know. It’s always fun to be up early, before the sun and pretend civilization has crashed and I’m scurrying among the survivors. Ok, maybe that’s just me.

I am making some progress with the apartment. I put together the bookshelves by myself and they are still standing, fully loaded with books even. I’m impressed.

I had one first date so far. It didn’t go anywhere and I never heard from him again. I’m so good at that! It’s not a bad skill to have. If you’re never going to see them again you may as well never hear from them again either. I did not hide the body! I know what certain of you will be thinking… Happy.

I began plotting a story. Maybe it will be the one that makes it into book length. I could at least work on being a one hit wonder. Why put on the pressure to be some world famous book writer with thirty of them published before I die? Far too much pressure. If you settle for being a one hit wonder you get that book out there plus you have the aura of mystery and you can be on some blog post about ‘Whatever happened to…’ That’s got to be worth something.

Thursday is The Day

Creative Thursday

Penny Postcards – Old photos of the US. Some nice historic ones. I liked Nebraska which has an old courthouse being moved on a locomotive train.

So what is the point of any of this?

I’m finally moving on Thursday. It may be awhile before I have an Internet connection again. I should be up and running by November at the least. But, I know how plans fall through the cracks, having much experience with that these past months.

Kind of an Off Day

There are so many things I want to do: ezine publishing, book writing, column writing, blogging, web design, blog templates, web comics, ASCII art, pixel art, writing in general, and I’m forgetting a few dozen other things.

It’s great to have interests, it’s good to have ambition but somehow you need focus and discipline along with creativity and inventiveness.

So, I’m working on the focus and discipline. Today wasn’t a great day for them. I did get some of the things done, the errands but the most important errand was left too late, the bank was closed earlier than I hoped. I told myself I would get the front page of my site done and uploaded and I have not started that. So bad, bad me.
I told the guy who isn’t paying the rent that he has to leave. That was a big deal, couldn’t totally get it out of my mind all day. He re-promised (much like regurgitated worms, leaves a bad taste and stinks too) that he would pay. He will catch up for December this week, he’s apparently decided he can skip November and October. I wonder where January fits in for him. Anyway, he also said “it’s not up to you!!!” With “you” being underlined heavily and all those exclamation points. Now, that just pissed me off. Buddy burned his last bridge when I read that.

I may drive out to see my brother tomorrow, he left a message that he needs some typing and computer set up help. While I’m there I will get official authorization for buddy who wants to continuing ripping us off. Then, I plan to tell buddy he can pack up and get out on the spot. No time to find somewhere else to go, time is up.

Anyway, I did go to the big Chapters bookstore today when I had my driving around day. So nice to go there and see what’s new in books. I looked at books about drawing (cartoons, manga and drawing in general), writing (though I didn’t see anything new there) and of course every single computer related book. I bought the latest issue of Broken Pencil. It’s their 10th anniversary this issue.

Now, it’s almost 8:00 and I can spend an hour on CSS and then I will go down to watch Medium on TV. I like Ghost Whisperer on Friday too but Medium is better. Maybe it’s cause she’s not a girl (she’s married with kids) and maybe it’s cause her life just looks more real rather than sugar coated for TV. I didn’t watch it before cause I don’t usually watch horror, especially anything to do with ghosts. But, my Mom got me hooked while she was up here, in the off season for snowbirds.

Stuff I’ve Been Doing Today

Don’t come here expecting organization, planning or anything quite so well thought out and clever. It took me years (at least 39 years if you don’t count babyhood) just to learn to spell and use punctuation. I’m still working on grammar and I admit the other two aren’t quite perfected.

Anyway, while I’ve been playing with the computer, software and the bloggage situation today, I came across a bunch of sites I would have quick linked to using the toolbar thingie from Google. However, I have not yet reinstalled that feature. So here are the links (mainly for myself since I will never remember where I went and what I found if not for sticking it into a blog).

TextPattern

A free, flexible, elegant, easy-to-use content management system for all kinds of websites, even weblogs.

Movable Type Didn’t they have their own domain for this before? Seems I remember it being on it’s own, not an offshoot of the sixapart domain. Anyway, I only came here to poke around and wonder if web hosted blogs are better than hosting your own. Still no decision on that one.

They also have Typepad. Is it better to pay for this than have your own domain and a blog too? Would people be better to just forget the domain bit and go with a blog? It is so easy to publish via blog. The blog creates organization out of your chaos, if you set up categories as you can do with Word Press. No doubt there are other options available or in the works.

Blogzilla A blog about the Mozilla Suite. Not very useful, not being kept updated. I guess that’s in part due to SeaMonkey being the new toy. I still like Mozilla Suite better.

Word Press templates and other stuff geared to Word Press at Viewfinder Design. I looked at Blogsome today, considering another blog there geared to online writing only. No personal stuff. But, I’m not sure about Blogsome, more specifically, Word Press if there are no backups. I don’t want to rely on myself only for keeping back up copies of everything. From past experience I know I’m not reliable when it comes to being especially organized and efficient. Always know your weakish points, at least if you only admit them to yourself or the odd blog post very few people will actually read. Most people will be skimming by this point. Funny isn’t it. I could write the meaning of life the universe and everything right here and almost no one would find it. Just think of it as our little secret.

CSS Reboot

CSS Reboot is a community event for web professionals. On November 1st, 2005 at 12:00 GMT Rebooters from all over the world launched their web standards-based redesigns (or designs) simultaneously, bringing traffic, interest and a little respect to their sites.

If nothing else, go for a look at the site designs. Pretty amazing what people can do typing on a keyboard.