Spiders are Like the Cats of the Insect World

Spiders are like the cats of the insect world.

It’s strange how afraid some people are of spiders. What are they really afraid of? An image created by the media? You are far more dangerous to them than they are to you. A spider is a delicate, little creature. Stop being afraid of them and really take a look at them. They look like bits of lace. They really aren’t ugly at all. They are nature, life.

If you think about it, the animals/ creatures associated with Witches (spiders, bats, cats, snakes) have a lot in common. They are (usually) nocturnal predators who prey on creatures who compete with humans for food resources. Spiders catch insects who live in our homes, barns, factories, stores, etc. Bats and snakes catch creatures that live outdoors, mostly insects that eat food in our gardens and fields. They don’t catch and eat human beings, no matter what the media would like to sell you. Cats, we know catch vermin, especially mice. These are important animals, useful to humans, so why are they seen as scary? Dogs kill more people than spiders!

How did such useful creatures, like spiders, become so reviled? Is it a co-incidence that they have been associated with Witches, also defamed? Probably not. It was easy to use one to keep making the others look scary and monstrous. By putting Witches, spiders, bats, snakes and all the rest together they can all be tarred with the same brush. All the animals who catch and eat vermin, of one kind or another.

Are you wondering how spiders are like cats? It was something I thought of this morning.

Spiders hunt, often at night, like cats. Spiders keep themselves clean, like cats. Spiders move like cats. Think about it, they have that athletic grace. Take the time to watch one before you go crazy trying to spray it with something, hit it with something, etc.

Appreciate the spider for what it is and leave it alone, give it some space, or at least (very carefully) take it outside. If you don’t want to have a spider in your house move it to the garage, a shed, something else outside. Indoor spiders don’t live outside, that’s why they are house spiders. They catch insects that also live in your home.

Before you work yourself up into a frenzy about seeing a spider, think about all the other insects it could have caught that will now be left free to roam your home. Letting the odd spider live in your house sounds better to me. Most of the time they stay out of sight, out of mind, just waiting for a good bug.

At The End of the Day I Sometimes Wonder Who Decided…

The idea that there are different kinds of Witches, Wiccans, Pagans, is not new. But, I don’t think there should be an all inclusive, exclude nothing approach to being a Witch, or really, anything. If nothing is excluded then what makes one person or group, different from any other person or group. In order to be something, you have to actually be something.

I exclude Ouija boards from my idea of a Witch. I’ve seen some people who try calling them “witch boards”. They are not Witch boards. In my opinion they are an occult thing and a lot of occult things don’t seem very Witch-like (or safe) to me. I don’t believe in hell, satan, devils, etc. I do believe there are bad people, evil deeds. These are all real things people have created. Like the idea of hell and so on. How do you scare people into obeying your rules, make them afraid not to. Give them terrifying consequences.

What is a Modern Witch?

You can go through a shopping list and throw endless things into your cart, deciding what a modern Witch is. It would be easier to decide what to exclude. Sort of easier, not as easy in these days of mass inclusion. Well Witches, dare to step on someone’s toes and make a decision about what a Witch is and what a Witch is not.

The Wiccan Rede is a good place to start. Harm none, in essence. People add in contingencies and excuses and justify everything in order to suit themselves. But, the Wiccan Rede is not about making yourself comfortable. It sets a standard. It’s an almost impossible standard but it gives you a direction to head for. Don’t be too quick to slide off the path. Think about your actions and don’t harm others.

I want to be honest, an honest person. With more than 50 years of experience I can say that honesty does make life easier. Not always, but overall. Plus, honesty isn’t all black and white. You can be honest without hurting someone’s feelings, or making promises you don’t want to keep. In the second case, don’t back down and make a promise or a commitment you don’t want to keep. Be firm and politely decline, even if they whine.

I exclude things I don’t believe in. That sounds simple but it’s taken me many years to decide not to believe in some things. It’s like a child believing in Santa Claus because they want to so much. I believe in the Christmas spirit. Santa Claus is a face for the Christmas spirit. People like having a face to look at. Something recognizable and human looking. But, it took me awhile to decide to believe in that Christmas spirit versus the marketing and religious versions of Christmas. I don’t see the point in being a Grinch during the holidays and pulling others down. Let people be happy when they can.

Deciding who you are, making decisions about what you will and will not believe are lifelong tasks for a modern Witch. As new ideas come along a Witch can’t sit back in the dark and ignore them. Guide yourself through modern life, making decisions based on harm none, but without being a doormat.

At the end of the day, I sometimes wonder who decided…

Who decided the pentacle was “the” symbol of Witches? I can read about why it is, but I wonder who decided to start it and keep it. As a modern Witch, is that something you want to keep, or is there something new you might be the very person to start up?

Avoiding Ghosts and Spirits

I had some creepy experiences, feeling I was watched, noticing something out of the corner of my eye, little things like that, when I was a child. I could have lived with that. Most people have those feelings now and then. More often when you watch something spooky on TV or read something creepy.

But, one afternoon, I very strongly felt something sinister. I’d use the word evil but that word has become so overused it can’t really be taken seriously any more. However, that day I didn’t see anything, it was all feelings, something I sensed. I was actually afraid and didn’t know what to do. I left the room but the sense of something awful and overwhelming didn’t go away. It didn’t follow me but it was there, strongly. I’ve never felt the same about the idea of devils, hell, and all of that since then. Although I don’t believe in hell and demons as being the opposing side of angels and god as the Christian view. I do believe there is an element I’d call demons for lack of a better word.

Does it have influence over people or do we make our own decisions? I still think we make our own decisions, we are responsible for our actions and our thoughts. Our thoughts being our own until we choose to (or not to) take action.

Anyway, the experience very much frightened me. This happened before I knew anything about Pagans, witches (other than the media and Halloween versions). I had read interesting newspaper clippings about the paranormal. Usually things that were interesting. I have never liked horror for the sake of horror, being afraid of some man-made monster. Real monsters are far scarier, and real enough.

My Grandmother talked about seeing ghosts and having creepy things happen. It wasn’t that I had asked her anything about it. She just talked about it one day while visiting over one or another family holiday. She saw her sister, who was recently deceased when they were young women. That didn’t scare her but other appearances and feelings did. At some point a psychic told her she had to tell them (ghosts/spirits) to leave her alone, and mean it. She had to say it out loud. After doing that she was not bothered any more.

Maybe it was her own determination not to be scared or maybe this did work to stop whatever influences were there. She did have a visit from my Grandfather, much later in her life, but that was the last and only time she had more encounters or creepy feelings.

So, I thought about it myself. I realized some of the spirits could be in need of help, lonely, whatever. But, others could be threatening, who knows why they are there or hanging around. My own worst experience wasn’t one I wanted to repeat. So I decided to do the same.

In my room, by myself, I said I did not want to see or have ghosts around me. I don’t remember the exact words I used or if I repeated it several times. I did only do it once, one evening. It worked. That was when I was about 10 years old. I’m 57 now and have not had any more creepy experiences. Not including times I watched or read something scary and creeped myself out.

Sometimes I watch the popular TV programs about ghosts, hauntings, and psychics. I take them with many grains of salt. I don’t believe in most of that, it is too easy to fake and too much of a marketing, money making scheme for many. Also, feelings are easy to spread. It just takes one person to say they felt a cold draft, feel something creepy, act afraid and everyone begins to feel something, or think they should be feeling something and then decide they are. Orbs of light, a whisper that might be a voice, a door moves or shuts… those are too easily explained by ordinary things or out right faked.

It’s very hard to prove ghosts, spirits and hauntings. I don’t disbelieve all of it, but I very much doubt most of it. However, having my own experience, which I did not turn into a TV show, I do know some of it is real.

The Fight to be the Perfect Witch

You are never going to be the perfect Witch, or anything else really. Stop comparing yourself to others. You, or they, can never be perfect. It is a losing battle which leaves people discouraged, burnt out and stressed.

Be the best Witch (or anything else you want to be or do) you can. I know that’s old and worn out advice. But, think of it as time tested instead.

People put pressure on themselves to be some ideal Witch (or whatever/ anything else). Its killer.

First, as soon as you start learning and understanding one thing you begin to see so much more you can learn and understand. It is never ending. So you, being just one human being, you can’t ever learn or understand it all. That’s a good thing. It means you never need to get dull or stagnate. Keep learning and evolving.

You’re never going to be the perfect Witch, and the other people you think or believe are perfect – are not either! Ask them, if they can be humble enough to be honest. No one is the perfect Witch. Not the people writing the books, not the ones running workshops and classes, not the people selling the herbs and tools and everything else online. None of them are perfect or all knowing.

So give yourself a break! You can’t be a perfect Witch but you can be a happy Witch. Work on that.

Where the Wild Things Are: The Limits of Labels

A label is very limiting. When you label yourself a Wiccan, a Witch or even the more roomy Pagan, you are limiting yourself to certain acceptable/ acknowledged areas of belief.

I have never liked this aspect of being a Witch, Pagan, etc. There are times when I think I’m tired of being what others see as a Witch. I never quite fit in and my beliefs are definitely subject to change without notice.

But, there is no great alternative. When someone asks if you are Pagan or when you want to tell someone about your beliefs what do you say? It’s much easier to give them the known than to go into great and exacting detail about the unknown and all various details.

So, each time we call ourselves Wiccan, we limit ourselves. People take each other at face value too easily. They want to categorize everyone all neat and tidy. Perhaps it’s an organization fetish. But I think it’s something else, more selfish and primitive. When you can categorize someone you feel safe, think you know where they stand and what to expect from them.

Anyway, to myself I don’t call myself Pagan. But for others I allow them to go on believing I am. The drawback to that is that each time I say I’m Pagan I am reinforcing the idea that I actually am Pagan for myself as well as those around me. What you say will come true, one way or another. Words spoken can not be unspoken. Much like ghosts. I feel ghosts are remnants of emotions and words past. Lingering in the atmosphere, unable to dissipate once they have been created.

– Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.

— Buddha

Originally posted to ‘BackWash: Where the Wild Things Are’ newsletter, June, 22, 2004.

Where the Wild Things Are: Death and Dying

My Dad is quite likely going to die soon, any day now. Don’t worry about sending sympathy, condolences or anything of that sort. You don’t know him. For me it’s a lot more personal.

People think the dying become almost holy. As if, while dying, they change and become a better person all of a sudden. You can’t talk badly about them, you must visit them and you should really, really hold their hand.

Well, my Dad was not a nice, happy, friendly Dad. His dying hasn’t changed that. I don’t want to hold his hand. I don’t want to go in and see him now that he is becoming a pile of meat rather than a human being. Sure, I can stick my hand inside a turkey each Thanksgiving and pull out the little bag of goodies. That doesn’t mean I want to do the same sort of ghoulish thing with my Dad. So, I am visiting him (second time will be today after work) but I am not going to touch him.

What do you believe about death? That gets tested each time someone close to us (physically or emotionally) dies. I still believe in reincarnation. I still believe the body becomes about as useful as roadkill once the person inside is gone. I still think the best body disposal method is compost in the family garden rather than taking up space in a graveyard plot. I’d much rather have my remains sucked up by worms and trees than rotting away in an expensive box.

Am I grossing you out? Am I being too blunt? Do you not want to think about death in such a practical way? Too bad. Death is part of life. There is no getting away from it. Death is always there, waiting at the end. That, I very strongly believe.

I’m not afraid of death. I’m just in no hurry to get there. I’d miss too many things. Every ordinary day, new inventions and ideas, seeing the tulips each Spring and so on.

Anyway, my Dad wants to be cremated. It looks like he will soon have his wish. I don’t think I will miss him. But I’m doing my best to be a good daughter now, in these last days. Not for him, not for myself especially, but for my brother and sisters who seem to expect something grand and dramatic and perfect. As if now that he is about to kick off forever we should honour him for the things he did right.

Originally posted to ‘BackWash: Where the Wild Things Are’ newsletter, May, 16, 2004.