The title for this article is “Choosing a Positive Attitude” because I believe it is about choosing rather than ‘having’ or ‘keeping’. It’s important to choose a good attitude and then keep it because you know and understand the importance and value of it. How can you keep a positive/ good attitude if you don’t value it? The first test that comes along you will tend to fall back into your old patterns or go with whatever comes easily to you.
Even something simple like having someone ask you a question you don’t want to deal with at the time. Do you snap at them? Or, do you set your mind to giving them an answer (tell them you don’t want to answer) without showing them your first feeling of impatience, anger or frustration. You choose the attitude you show the world and you choose the attitude you feel strongest yourself. You can feel impatience and negative emotions but you don’t have to stay there and settle into them.
If you don’t choose to have a positive attitude you leave yourself open to being negative and feeling negative. We are what we feel. If you broadcast a positive feeling it comes back to you and then you feel it yourself as well. If you broadcast negative feelings they come back and you live in negativity. Which would you choose? Which would help you cope with the regular frustrations in your day? Not likely the negative attitude and feelings.
My Own Experience with Positive and Negative Attitudes – as a Department Store Cashier
As a department store cashier I experienced attitudes from many people in just one day. People tended to be busier and more easily frustrated during events like Back to School shopping sales. Over Christmas, as busy as the store would be, the customers tended to have a better attitude than I did. I was tired, feeling over burdened, and likely being asked to work a double shift after being told to start early and skip at least one of my breaks. I actually became claustrophobic in the last week of Christmas. (The cashier gets surrounded in her little booth with people leaning on it in other aisles, leaning into her to speak and be heard in the hustle and bustle. I felt trapped and would be feeling kind of desperate by the time the next cashier stepped in to take over for her shift).
So, in my own attitude, I had to choose to keep broadcasting positive feelings. I won’t pretend I didn’t crash and burn a few times. However, overall I did keep things on the good side. I dealt with people well, I gave smiles, eye contact, and conversation. I also kept my line moving, but when something slowed it down I had patience and… I had patience with people who complained about the slowdowns. Still the busy times were a drain. I would escape out to my car to be out of the building and feel I was able to be truly alone for whatever break time I had.
The interesting thing about being a cashier and seeing so many attitudes from other people was learning about myself and seeing how I approached and dealt with so many different people. One thing that surprised me was that I actually did not mind the angry people as much as I did those who would not look up at me, acknowledging me in some way. Being ignored grated on me far more than anger, ranting and bullying did. Yet, I knew the people who kept their head down were likely not thinking about how I felt. They were feeling their own inner battle with a negative attitude in themselves. Likely they felt inferior or upset in some way. I know this because I have been in that position myself. I am a shy person and I tend to feel negative about myself.
I have made myself choose a positive attitude many times. I know it isn’t easy. I know you have to battle yourself at times. I don’t always succeed and when I fail I try to let myself be human.
When I was a cashier I would take on the challenge of changing other people’s attitudes. Not making it a big deal but more like something that gave me some power when inside I didn’t feel I had much power at all. I became good at taking a customer who was grumpy or impatient and changing their attitude. When they left the store they left feeling lighter, with a smile. This was broadcasting a positive attitude. When you give someone a positive attitude they tend to like it, this makes them feel better, you become approachable in that case and they become even more open to your positive attitude. You can see how it works. A smile really can make a difference. It’s not just a gimmick.
Focus on the Good
Focus on what is good.
That sounds so simple, but it’s not.
“Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth”. You may have heard that old saying, do you know what it means? It’s about being given a free horse and then choosing to check the horse’s teeth. If you check the horse’s teeth you are looking to set a value on the gift, likely you will find something to pick on, something that isn’t as great as it could be. Instead, accept the gift. Don’t look for negativity and then overlook the positive of being given a gift.
In your life how many times have you chosen a negative attitude when you could have focused on the positive? Focus on what you do have versus what could be better, what isn’t going well, etc.
Stuck in a traffic jam, kids fighting in the back seat, ice cream melting in the trunk of the car… but you’re in a car, you’ve got the kids (who will go back to being little darlings when they get home), and you’ve got ice cream to look forward to.
Feeling ill at work, still another four hours to the end of your shift, you’re being asked to work the weekend… but you’ve finished half your work day, extra hours will give you more money, and you’ll be feeling better once you get some lunch and sit down awhile.
You’ve been looking forward to breakfast out at your favourite diner but they’re closed early for the day… but you’re out and now you can try a new place for breakfast and see who you meet along the way.
In each case you could choose to focus on what’s going wrong. Or you can change it around and see what’s going right. Usually the negative things are just in the moment, temporary. Meanwhile the positive things are long term, dependable and often taken for granted or overlooked completely.
A positive attitude requires focus, to find it, and change to bring it about and keep it. However, it won’t work at all if you don’t make the choice to have a positive attitude in the first place.
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