SuperPoke Pets shuts down, leaving worthless virtual goods – Sep. 6, 2011

Google is shutting down SuperPoke! Pets -- and the cash users spent on virtual goods has likely flown out the windowGoogle is shutting down SuperPoke! Pets — and the cash users spent on virtual goods has likely flown out the window.

NEW YORK (CNNMoney) — Dedicated social gamers devote many hours to tending their online farms and digital pets — and lots of money, too. This year they’ll spend an estimated $650 million in real cash on virtual goods.

But when those games are shut down, the digital items — and the cash — are left in limbo.

Fans of SuperPoke! Pets were crushed recently when Google (GOOG, Fortune 500) announced it was pulling the plug on the game. Google killed off all but one project from social app maker Slide, which it bought last year for around $200 million.

Players posted a torrent of comments on Web articles about the shutdown, saying they were upset to lose their beloved game — but they also wanted to know what would happen to the cash they’ve plowed into it.

SuperPoke! Pets lets players buy online “gold,” which can be redeemed for virtual goods in the game. Many other social games, including Zynga’s wildly popular Farmville, also make money by encouraging users to shell out cash for virtual decorations, livestock and more.

Those paying customers keep the games afloat — and they’re not happy about the prospect of losing their digital stash.

“You do realize that people paid REAL MONEY for gold items, don’t you?” Jennifer Gyurkovic-Hagmann commented on a TechCrunch article. “I expect a check in the mail for all of the gold items that I have in the SuperPoke Pets game.”

But it’s not as easy as simply refunding what’s been spent, says Net Jacobsson, a former Facebook exec who now advises game companies including CrowdStar and Aurora Feint.

“The accounting issues can be massively complicated,” Jacobsson says. “They’ve already counted it as revenue. They’ve taxed it. Refunding $20 would cost more than $20, not to mention the man-hours involved in dealing with it.”

Slide seems to be mulling its options. In an e-mailed statement, a Google representative acknowledged that many people had asked about virtual goods, and confirmed that they’ll be usable until SuperPoke officially goes offline (which is slated to happen “in the coming months”).

But both Slide and Google are vague about what will happen after that point.

“One thing you can’t do [with virtual goods] is bring them home and keep them forever,” Slide’s communications team wrote in a post to the SuperPoke! Pets user forum.

They also offered up a clunky comparison calling Halloween costumes the “closest real-life analog” to virtual bling: “You purchase it to dress up and enjoy the experience, but likely don’t wear that costume day in and day out, or for every Halloween thereafter.”

Slide said is trying to find a way to help users export some of their content and virtual items for access outside of the game, but is still “working out the details.” Google declined to comment beyond that post.

Jacobsson thinks Slide should compensate users in some way, possibly with a credit toward another Google product.

That’s a tactic other companies have used. Tom Sarris, a representative for Electronic Arts (ERTS)-owned social games maker Playfish, recalls the “difficult decision” to shutter a handful of games in April.

“We knew it would disappoint players who were still engaged in the games earmarked for retirement,” Sarris says.

To heal some of the gamers’ pain, Playfish allowed players of Pirates Ahoy!, Gangster City and Poker Rivals to move their currency to another game. Playfish also offered free gifts to entice users to transfer to a new game, Monopoly Millionaires.

FarmVille maker Zynga made a similar move last year when it shut down its Street Racing game. But the terms were stricter: Zynga offered credit only for purchases made in the last 90 days, plus an extra 100 units of virtual currency.

No matter what Slide decides, Jacobsson warns that Google should not make the mistake of marginalizing its customers.

“People in the tech community tend to laugh at them a little bit, asking why a single mom in Texas loves her virtual pets so much,” he says. “That Silicon Valley ivory tower attitude is completely disrespectful.”

Plus, it erodes the trust that keeps the entire virtual-goods economy afloat. If too many people get burned, they’ll stop spending.

“These people are paying your salary, and they loved your game,” Jacobsson says. “They were invested emotionally and financially, so they deserve to be upset. And they also deserve answers.” To top of page

 

Source: SuperPoke Pets shuts down, leaving worthless virtual goods – Sep. 6, 2011

7 Coolest Animal Cross-breeds – Weird Worm

7 Coolest Animal Cross-breeds

Some things simply work better combined. For example, peanut butter and chocolate are awesome on their own, but combine the two and you get the confectionary equivalent of an orgasm. The very same principle applies to the animal kingdom, where cross-breeding has resulted in some of the most awesome animals on the planet.

Hybrid of: a male lion and a tigress

The Liger is currently the largest cat in the world, combining the wisdom and ferocious fighting abilities of Lion King’s Mufasa with the cunningness and suaveness of Jungle Book’s Shere Khan. This feline perfect storm of beauty and badassness has been the result of animal captivity because nature is cruel like that and normally doesn’t allow the two species to meet.

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But in artificial environments of zoos and research facilities the two star crossed lovers could finally meet and sired the magnificent liger, the biggest of which alive today is “Hercules” from Miami, coming in at roughly 904 pounds. The hugest liger in reported history however, weighted in at more than 1,759lb.

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Interestingly enough, the liger is about the same size as the prehistoric American Lion, making the animal the closest thing to a real life Jurassic Park as we will ever get in the next couple of years.

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VIDEO

Hybrid of: Grizzly and Polar bears

Once thought to only occur in captivity, the Grolar bear hybrid has been confirmed to exist naturally in the wild after a bunch of heartless bastards shot one in Northern Canada in 2006. If they did not get the death penalty there is no justice in this world…

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The Grolar bear seems like a pretty impossible cross-breed. Grizzlies prefer land while Polar bears thrive nicely on ice and water, but in certain inhabitable ice-cold parts of Canada (you know, everything more than 200 miles from its southern border) there are places where the two species can meet and furiously hump from time to time, giving birth to this awesome grayish teddy.

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Size wise, the Grolar bear is somewhat larger than a Grizzly but smaller than a Polar bear, exhibiting characteristics of both, like a long neck ending with a bigger head, large claws and a smooth fur, making it look pretty much like a cartoon character.

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Hybrid of: a cow and a bison

Better take notice here, because with the way things are now, soon the beefalo will be standard serving at all American households in place of regular beef. The Beefalo has been appearing naturally in the US since the 18th century, and it was already in 1800 when we started to intentionally breed our cattle with the bison.

beefalo01

Unlike many cross-breeds, the beefalo is fertile, meaning it can produce its own offspring, making it perfect for future ranching. The animal supposedly mixes in the very best traits of cattle and bison: its meat is as delicious as typical beef but also significantly lower in fat and cholesterol, like the bison. If the breed will catch on it might completely replace regular cattle, ending in our hamburgers and steaks but killing us significantly slower.

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The only downside is that the beefalo will basically wipe out the bison population, which will be completely bred out into beefalo and eaten if modern trends continue. We should maybe hold a massive beefalo barbeque in their honor or something.

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VIDEO

Chimera of: a sheep and a goat

The geep is not a hybrid. A hybrid is what happens when 2 species bone until something vaguely different from each of them is born. A chimera is most often the result of genetic experiments, what happens when you start combining genes at an embryo level, which is what happened in the geep’s case.

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The geep is the result of combining the DNA of a sheep and a goat in order to… that was never made clear actually, but if one was to take a guess the answer would probably be “We wanted to see if it was possible”. Ah science, thanks for reminding us that one day you will doom us all.

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The results of this chimerization vary greatly, occasionally producing a weird breed of hairy sheep or wooly goats, but even that eventually gets bred out in the geep’s 2nd or 3rd generation. Ultimately though, the geep is the result of bona fide mad sciencing, a real life genetic mutant, which could only get cooler if they bred a couple of eagle wings into it.

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VIDEO

8 Strange and Stupid Legal Convictions of Animals – Weird Worm

8 Strange and Stupid Legal Convictions of Animals

Remember back in grade school when you forgot your homework and you told the teacher the dog ate it?

OK, maybe that was just me and my overweight dog, but seriously, nobody likes to take the blame for anything. And if you think it’s bad these days, it was really bad in the Dark Ages when superstition and religious theory made the laws. People could be blamed for crop failures or solar eclipses and then burned at the stake as a witch, so you can see how there would be an incentive to avoid prosecution at all costs. Each town had its authority figure, but whether it was a bishop or an idiot depended on the judgment of the local population, although, with no schools or universities, people tended to be a bit on the stupid side. As a result, nobody knew anything about how the universe worked. They thought the world was flat, that you could cure freckles with rainwater and that the sun was pulled across the sky by magical little fairies. Heck, if you showed them how light a fart, they would think you were giving birth to a fire breathing dragon!

My point is, people were pretty much left on their own to figure things out, so they developed their own screwball theories, some of which involved blaming animals for stuff that happened.

One of the first instances of an animal taking the rap for a human was the snake in the Garden of Eden.

Remember what Adam and Eve said? “The snake made us eat the apple, Lord!” Yeah, sure, the fact that it was ripe and juicy had nothing to do with it, right?

Somehow I don’t believe God bought that excuse even if the snake did lose his legs for being a co-conspirator.

Here are a few more examples of animals getting the shaft!

In the year 894, in some of the first legal proceedings which didn’t end up as an epic poem, the court condemned a beehive after a man was stung to death. The court ruled that the bees were possessed by Satan and had acted in a devilish manner. Now the hive was infected with bad Juju from being devilized which would forever taint and make poison their sweet, sweet honey. Therefore, in order to protect society, the bee-devils must die.

They were found guilty of murder and ordered suffocated in the hive. Apparently they went through three different executioners before the sentence was carried out.

bee devils

As justice slowly evolved, it adopted the concept of dressing up the defendants, such as this pig which was convicted of killing a toddler in 1386.

Back in the Dark Ages, when people were dim, it was a common trait of people to abdicate their parental roles should something happen to their child, like if they left it in front of a hungry pig.

When a pig killed a small child in France and DNA testing determined that the blood around the animals’ mouth was the same color as the child’s blood, the pig was arrested. Not content to turn the porker into bacon just for food and sustenance, a court was convened, a jury selected and a defense attorney appointed. Then they dressed the pig and went to trial.

While several attempts were made to shift the blame to the parents who left the child in the care of the pig, the parents pointed out that they had carefully placed the baby in the trough and told the pig not to eat that day. It was also noted that the pig had met the child before and there had been no previous animosity.

Therefore, the pig was found guilty of murder and subsequently, wearing its’ best shirt and tie for the execution, went out with style. Then the whole town came out and had a barbeque.

Later, the pig was posthumously convicted of biting the town tailor during his fitting.

child and pig

In 1685, a wolf (believed to be the incarnation of the recently departed burgomaster of Ansbach) was convicted of being a werewolf and killed for “preying upon the herds and devouring women and children.” I guess if it hadn’t been a werewolf they would have only killed it, but by adding the supernatural aspect, it allowed the good townsfolk to get all in a lather about something and go nuts for a while. After one of those nighttime torch-bearing mob scenes they finally caught and killed a wolf, but the ‘were-’ part could have been a bit of an exaggeration. To rationalize their lunacy, they dressed the wolf in a flesh coloured cloth, a wig and a beard. Then, to ultimately convince the jury it was the dead burgomaster, they cut off the snout and replaced it with a mask resembling the recently departed human. “Close enough,” said the judge and it was dragged through the streets, beaten, cursed, and burned. Obviously the burgomaster had been a popular member of the community.

warewolf

More recently, on May 4, 1906 in Delemond, Switzerland, an man named Hans Marger was killed by Anton Scherrer and his son, Bulgur, with the “fierce and vigorous complicity” of their dog, Chomper. After a trial, in which all three sat in the defendant’s box, the court ruled that the dog was a willing participant without whom the nefarious deed could not have been committed. The two men were sentenced to life in prison and the dog was condemned to death.

mad dog

10 Unexpected Uses for an IPad – Weird Worm

10 Unexpected Uses for an IPad

This is a guest post from the guys over at iGadget Life. If you are looking for the product reviews, such as lcd tvs or digital cameras, make sure to check them out.

When Apple released the iPad, it was declared as many things, including a game changer. But once we held an iPad, with its thin frame, wide screen, and smooth exterior, we realized exactly how much of a game changer it really was. Gone were the keyboard, the mouse, and the bulk. In its place was a device that was literally all hands on.

Such a device lends itself to so many uses, and so we have a few that you may not have expected. In fact, there are so many great uses that we have spent an exhaustive few minutes digging through the selections and whittling it down to the ten best. With that in mind, we present our top ten unexpected uses for an iPad.

ipad

At number ten we have something that is sure to appeal to everyone who likes NERF things. The iPad, with its big display, makes a perfect target for NERF Guns. All it really takes is drawing a target on the screen and going at it. You can even get really creative, and draw different targets on the screen with varying points assigned to each. Challenge your friends to a competition, and see who wins.

If you want to up your NERF game from there, then load up the iPad with a home movie. The object of the game is to shoot your mother-in-law when she comes on the screen. Points are awarded for a direct hit, but a bad shot will cost you. This takes the game from one requiring good aim to one requiring a good eye and timing as well. Please note – you can substitute the preferred target to anyone in the video that you see fit – it’ss a great way to work off stress in a variety of situations.

9.

Hot Wheel Car Track And Mini City

The iPad is great for kids to play with, but it can also be something great for kids to play on. Take out your favorite drawing app and draw a road around the iPad wide enough for a Hot Wheel type car to fit. Add in a house, a store, a playground, a school, etc. – soon you will have a fun little virtual city for the kids in your life to drive around with their favorite small cars and have fun on.

If you want to make the iPad game more interesting for older kids, you can add a train track to the screen with a railroad crossing, a hospital, and a spooky graveyard. The idea is to cross the tracks before an imaginary train runs you over, otherwise you have to drive to the hospital. If you play it too many times, then you have to drive to the graveyard and the game is over.

For the adult version, draw a circular track with your favorite drawing app with the following labeled buildings: work, home, bar,casino, racetrack, liquor store, brothel, and Apple AppStore. In this fun and educational game, you drive your small car around the iPad track, picking up a paycheck each time you pass work. The goal is to get around the track without blowing your paycheck. Please note that we left out the bank out of convenience – in test plays we found that item to be unused.

8.

Mess Free Virtual Aquarium

So, you like the look of a fish aquarium, but you really don’t like the mess. Well, let the iPad solve that problem for you. Simply find one of those fish aquarium videos on the web, and download it to your iPad. Now, when you want a little getaway, pull out the iPad and launch the video – instant aquarium.

You can hold your virtual aquarium in your hands for enjoyment, or you can lean it against the wall or work computer for extended periods of joy. You can even prop it up on a pillow at night time to be gently lulled to sleep by your precious little virtual fish. (Although for this use I would recommend previewing the aquarium footage first, just in case a shark or lobster makes an appearance and wrecks what would have been a gentle drift off to sleep).

We all love our pets, but sometimes they do need to be entertained. The game changing iPad will come in handy for this as well. The easiest way to entertain a cat is to use the virtual aquarium from above. Nothing delights a cat more than virtual fish lazily floating by for their entertainment. The cat will love to watch the iPad video, and will even swat at the fish and try to catch them, making it a great way to tucker out that precocious feline.

6.

Baby Shoe Shopping Tool

Let’s say that you have both a new iPad and a new baby, when suddenly your significant other informs you that you need to buy that adorable baby a new pair of shoes. This is easy, just place the infant’s foot close to the screen and draw around it with your drawing tool (your finger). Then take your iPad to the shoe store and compare the life size image to the available shoes for sale. You can easily match up the image and select the perfect size of shoe. This allows you to pick out the perfect shoes at your leisure without having to tend to a fussy baby in the meanwhile. This will also work for older children and small, non-well endowed adults with rather small feet.

The iPad life size shopping tool will also work great for gloves – simply hold the hand close to the surface and trace away. Match it up to the gloves when you get to the store, and you will soon have the perfect glove selected.

5.

Deluxe Labeled Serving Tray

The flat, somewhat durable screen of the iPad coupled with its thin design lends itself nicely as a handy serving tray for contained light snack items. You can whisk around the room, offering your guests a delightful hor dourves from its lighted surface. For special events you can have the iPad showing a background with a message, and for that futuristic look have it playing a background video related to the event at hand.

If you’re having a dieting club gathering, then you can have different offerings on the iPad tray with each labeled accordingly with a dynamic screen. Perhaps you can use an entertaining video on the iPad trays which will serve as a deterrent to actually eating the food. This will not only save calories for the person being served, it will also stretch out your entertaining budget.

Number four on our list is an area that has been needing a boost from technology for some time – beer drinking. The iPad, with its large screen and finger input, makes it easy to track how many beers you have consumed. It works is like this – pop open a beer, draw a line with a swipe of the finger. Repeat. You can use tally marks, individual marks, or something really creative.

The good thing to note is that the iPad screen is large enough to easily see when, after a few dozen beers, things around you get fuzzy. Plus, there is no stylus or pen to lose, and no hard to find buttons to contend with. If you can lift the beer to your mouth, then you can probably still drag a finger across the screen. For totaling purposes we suggest asking the barkeep or other person to tally it for you.

The iPad is such a game changing device that it can even serve as your wing man when out bar hopping. Before embarking for the evening, load up the iPad with pictures of women that you find attractive. Now, when you go out to the bars, whip out the iPad after every so many beers. Hold the large screen close to the face, and scan across the bar. In this way you can avoid the dreaded Beer Goggle effect, where women appear more attractive as the night wears on. The pictures on the iPad serve as a standard to which you can hold yourself to, and the large screen allows you to clearly see it when you are otherwise inebriated.

The iPad bar wingman can also serve to get you out of a sticky situation. Have a sound effect sitting on your home screen, and when you need to bail out of a sticky situation, touch its icon. When the sound goes off you politely tell them that an emergency has come up, and slip quietly out an exit.

Your iPad bar wingman will be there when you need him, and there is little danger that he is going to get hooked up with someone else, leaving you dangerously on your own.

The way it works is like this – when you have a blind date, tell them that you will be found holding a sign. As you would expect, you would be found holding the iPad with a boldly written sign across its front. But there are actually two prepared worded sign images on the device. The correct one, with her name, and another waiting on the home screen.

When contact is first made, and you like what you see, then simply switch off the iPad and enjoy the date. She may like your inventiveness on the sign, and it could serve to break the ice.

But if you suddenly need a place to hide, then hit the bailout icon. The next image loads, changing the name to something similar but different. There will be no physical sign to hide, and you simply state that you are waiting for another person. When the coast is clear you make your getaway, saved by your wit and your iPad.

The Number one position on our list of unexpected iPad uses gives us a way to enjoy our intimate times with a partner that much better. This is how it works – before the encounter, find a picture, pictures, or video of a person that you are highly attracted to. It is important that you crop the picture to the head, allowing it to display as large as possible in the portrait view of the iPad.

Then, when in the middle of the lovemaking act, take out the iPad with the images(or video) loaded, and place it directly over the face of your partner. You will have to hold the iPad in place with at least one hand, so we suggest using the tried and true missionary position. With the bright and colorful pre-selected images super imposed over the body of your partner it will be easy to let your imagination take over, promising an intense session.

If anything is said, simply remind them that the next time it is their turn. And guys, if she shows up toting pictures of your friend’s head on her iPad, then go with it for the moment (it could still be a great experience) but make a mental note to explore this later.

Image Sources

Image sources:

  • http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/About/General/2010/1/28/1264698606378/Apple-iPad-001.jpg
  • http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/About/General/2010/1/28/1264698606378/Apple-iPad-001.jpg
  • http://cdn.venturebeat.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/500px-apple_computer_logosvg1.png
  • http://news.cnet.com/i/tim//2010/01/27/apple-ipad-3_1.jpg

7 Weird Foods (Served While the Animal Is Alive) – Weird Worm

7 Weird Foods (Served While the Animal Is Alive)

Food is one of the most basic pleasures in life. Everybody eats, and while caffeine and playing with yourself on Chatroulette can handle your other necessities, you’re pretty much stuck with food. For now.

And for any mundane activity there are those who seek adventure. In terms of food, most can be satiated with a little Tabasco. Others need to push the envelope further by indulging in the taboo and the strange. For those people, only the thrill of consuming a still living animal will suffice. Today, we’ll be examining some of the dishes these freaks call dinner. Or lunch. Or whatever.

casu marzuHey, that looks pretty… wait. Why is it moving?

Let’s ease into this one. Lots of people eat cheese made from sheep’s milk. On the isle of Sardinia in Italy, they prefer Pecorino. They also like it served a very specific way. Rather than just fermenting the cheese, they just go ahead and give it a push into the “rotting” territory by inviting maggots to the party. Cheese flies are allowed to lay their eggs, which hatch and start chewing their way through. They start to break down the fats and this makes the cheese very soft. So soft, the Pecorino begins to “cry” (as the locals put it) as the digested fatty liquid leaks out.

When it’s time to consume the devil-cheese, it’s decision time. Some go for the full experience and eat it, maggots and all, in thin strips on some crispy bread that in no way disguises the taste of live larvae. For the faint of heart, one can also seal the cheese in a bag which causes the maggots to lose oxygen and start launching themselves out of the cheese at distances up to 15 centimeters. That’s over 18 times their body length, about the same as you leaping a 10 story building. When the bag stops making the sweet pitter-patter of maggots in their death throws, the cheese is certified baby fly free.

The maggots also provide a cool, pre-industrial expiration date. If the maggots die naturally, the cheese has gone toxic, hence the idea behind eating it while it’s still infested. For the people who nosh with the insects intact, they can look forward to the chance of the larvae surviving the stomach and setting up shop in the intestines. As it turns out, living in rotting cheese means they’re pretty used to acidic environments, and being a disgusting maggot means they’re more than happy to try to burrow into your duodenum.

oystersI wonder if anyone’s ever made a

There’s no classier food than shellfish, except maybe steak soaked in champagne. Lobster, mussels, king crab… delicious delights from the seven seas. And when it comes to seafood, freshness is the phrase that pays. The faster you can get these animals from their underwater home to your plate, the tastier they are. People still pay good money to look their dinner in the eye while they choose a lobster from a tank.

Oysters push the idea of freshness to the logical conclusion. They must be cooked or eaten while they are still alive, otherwise you can look forward to an evening bowing to the porcelain god. While they can be boiled, baked or prepared any number of ways, the most delightful method is on the half shell. This means half the shell is cut open or “shucked” while they’re still alive to expose the sweet, sweet innards. Various sauces or juices can be added to the gelatinous mass, but the idea is to get that mollusc into your stomach before it’s legally dead. Obviously the best way to do that is just pick them up and slurp the bloody things down like a two bit whore.

Surprisingly, oysters are pretty good for you. They have a number of minerals that you normally only get from the most annoyingly enriched breakfast cereals, as well as vitamin B12, which helps keep you sane and full of blood. Eating them raw (sometimes called “shooters”) retains the most nutrients. Hippies even have a hard time saying no, as oysters are almost always sustainably harvested and lack the ability to feel pain.

sannakjiNot an uncommon or unreasonable reaction when your food puts up a fight.

When it comes to getting drunk and eating animals alive, the Koreans (both flavors, North and South) are among the top contenders. A popular food, as in so popular you can buy it on the street from a cart in some places, is a type of live octopus called Sannakji.

The concept is pretty low tech. Small, live octopuses are cut into pieces and served squirming about on a plate. Usually a mild oil or sauce and seasoning are added. Sometimes they don’t even cut them up and simply serve the whole friggin’ octopus. Strangely, it seems when you get to the point where you’re eating things alive, there aren’t a ton of “rules” or “etiquette”.

And if you’re right now thinking: don’t octopi have suction cups on those tentacles? Well you’d be right (and wrong, because octopuses is the correct pluralization, not octopi).The tentacles do in fact pose a choking hazard, especially as you’d also probably be downing a fair bit of potent “soju”, a rice booze popular in Korea. While they encourage you to chew well, many opt to feel the meat squirm as it goes down their throat.

If there’s any justice in the world, these people are then made fun of for their probable fondness for administering fellatio.

4.

Drunken Shrimp (China)

drunken shrimp01Painstakingly harvested from Keanu Reeves’ bellybutton.

Seeing drunken shrimp on a menu might raise your hopes of some kind of delicious bourbon BBQ prawn dish. Seeing it on this list conversely might make you think it’s some kind of intoxicated midget casserole. Sadly for us writers, it’s closer to the former than the latter.

A Chinese dish, drunken shrimp consists of a big bowl of prawns, seasoning and strong liquor called Baijiu which is about 40-60% alcohol by volume. The shrimp are not cooked, though hopefully they get some kind of cleaning before they are thrown into the dish still alive. The alcohol stuns the little buggers, making them sluggish and easier to handle.

The kicker? The flavor is supposedly very similar to cooked shrimp and even more similar to raw. There are also other versions of the dish where the shrimp are killed or cooked first, but in all likelihood, ordering the dead shrimp is the equivalent of getting the mild wings in front of your friends at the bar. Not worth the heckling.

In Japan, a similar dish called Odori ebi exists that substitutes sake as the liquor of choice. Also, since Japanese people are all about one-upmanship, they only eat baby shrimps.

6 Ways Pets Keep You Thin – Weird Worm

6 Ways Pets Keep You Thin

In this world, there are pet people and there are… not-pet people. Then, of course, there are people who treat their pets better than their own children, but we’re not here to discuss that odd phenomenon. We’re here to talk about a little-known benefit of pet ownership: the ability of your pets to keep you thin.

But, you might cry in a voice filled with outrage, there are plenty of overweight people out there with pets! All it takes is watching a few episodes of shows like Confessions: Animal Hoarding (and yes, this is a real thing) to see that there are pet owners out there who aren’t exactly poster children for weight loss methods.

The problem is, these people are simply doing pet ownership incorrectly. If you take care of your pets like you’re actually supposed to – taking them out for exercise, petting or playing with them regularly, and feeding them in the correct manner, among other things – and you don’t have any deep-seated health issues standing between you and svelteness, then pet ownership can help you achieve your weight loss goals. And there’s even science to prove it!

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If only you had pets, this wouldn’t have happened.

It’s true! Just ask science; simply having pets around is known to decrease stress. That’s one reason that people like to introduce animals into stressful environments, such as nursing homes and prisons.

Why is stress reduction important to losing weight? In addition to the direct health benefits, such as lower blood pressure and less risk of developing heart disease, lowering your stress can also improve your health indirectly by keeping you thin. People who stress less tend to eat better and take care of themselves better than people who stress more. In addition, the stress hormone cortisol is linked to weight gain. Less stress means less cortisol, which makes it easier to maintain a healthy weight.

True, when pets are tipping over their food bags or chewing on your brand new pair of shoes, they might not seem like great stress reducers. But in the long run, they definitely help to prevent some of the bad effects of stress.

2.

They Help Ward Off Depression

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Why must you be so cute? I can’t possibly be sad around you!

Depression is one of a myriad of causes that contribute to weight gain for several reasons. For one, depression is related to stress, so it’s like taking all the negative stress effects listed above and doubling them. For another, symptoms of depression include people not wanting to participate in every day activities, such as exercise. Depression can also lead to emotional eating, which definitely isn’t good if you want to avoid packing on the pounds.

So it makes sense that anything that can ward off depression can help to keep you thin. And it’s pretty easy to see how having pets keeps depression at bay. They’re loyal and unconditionally loving, no matter what else is going on in your life. They don’t judge, and they don’t stop hanging out with you if you have a bad day. They’re warm and cuddly, and because they pretty much need you to stay alive, they help give your life a sense of purpose.

3.

They Beg For Your Food

food

Here! Take all of my food! All of it!

In general, pet owners don’t try to encourage begging, unless they’re teaching it to their pets as a trick. We like to eat our delicious human food in peace, and leave our pets to their dried, tasteless kibble and their canned food made of parts of animals that aren’t fit for human consumption.

That doesn’t stop animals from doing it, however. And with those adorable puppy-dog eyes and sorrowful mewlings from your cat – which are, by the way, designed to sound like the cries of a hungry baby, who can resist giving in every now and then?

And every morsel that you feed to your pet is one more morsel that doesn’t go into your own gullet. Which means you take in less calories. In addition, it’s hard to keep stuffing your face when there’s someone going desperately hungry right in front of you. It hasn’t been scientifically documented, but we like to think that it’s a factor.

4.

They Force You To Get Off Your Butt

butt

The smells! Oh, the wonderful, wonderful smells!

If you consider how many hours a day the average person spends sitting, it can be pretty mind boggling. Add in the fact that each hour you spend sitting increases your risk of getting heart disease, and it gets downright scary. The problem is, it’s just so easy to sit without even thinking about it. You sit on your way to work, and then you probably sit at a desk all day. You sit on your way home, and when you get there you sit to take a break from your day. You sit when you eat and often during your breaks.

However, if you have a pet, sitting is the last thing it wants to do when it finally gets your attention. Young animals especially love to run, jump, and play, and they prefer to do it with a partner. If you’re the only one who cares that you’re lying on your lazy butt all day, it’s hard to get motivated. But if something is going to pee on you and your things if you don’t get up, motivation suddenly becomes a whole lot easier.

5.

Caring For Them Means Caring For Yourself

means

A miniature napkin, perhaps?

As a living thing, you inevitably develop habits over time. Some of these, like getting up in the morning and going to work, are good for you. Others, such as stopping at the bar for a few beers every day after work, aren’t so much.

Once a habit is established, it’s really hard to break it, unless there are outside influencing factors. Getting a pet is kind of like having a child in this respect. Now that there’s another living being depending on you, you pretty much have to do things that are good for you so you can continue to care for that being. For example, you can’t stay at the office until late at night if your pet is at home waiting to be let out. And if you get sick because you’re not living healthy, who will take care of Poochy-Woochy and Mr. Piggles? Having someone depend on you is a pretty much sure-fire way to get your act into gear health-wise.

6.

They Improve Your Social Life

social life

Kitties can cuddle too!

It’s a good thing that pets are so great at getting their owners to socialize, because socializing is harder than it used to be when we all lived and worked right next to one another.

How do pets help you socialize? First off, you have to actually go and talk to people in most cases to get a pet. As far as we know, they haven’t invented mail-order pets yet. After that, the purchasing of pet food, exercising of pets, and trips to the vet, among other things, can lead to a variety of opportunities for socialization.

But how does this keep you thin? Well, just like having relationships with pets wards off depression and keep stress and bay, having relationships with humans does the same thing. Socialization leads to happiness, which leads to better eating and less cortisol. And having relationships, especially with other pet lovers, means an increase in the number of people available to exercise with you, further improving your chances of staying in shape. It’s all one awesome circle of support, and it’s all because of adorable animals. Puppies and kittens for the win!

Emma Larkins is a freelance writer. To learn more about her work, follow her on Twitter or check out her blog.

Written by Emma Larkins – Copyrighted © www.weirdworm.com

Image Sources

Image sources:

  • – They Reduce Stress.: http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5253/5497989655_ffe974444b_b.jpg
  • – They Help Ward Off Depression: http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2510/3816468567_a8a475cb00_b.jpg
  • – They Beg For Your Food: http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4117/4897400542_ef7aebfcec_b.jpg
  • – They Force You To Get Off Your Butt: http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5064/5620921280_451789920e_b.jpg
  • – Caring For Them Means Caring For Yourself: http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4032/4592361218_17c88e22ef_b.jpg
  • – They Improve Your Social Life: http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2425/3941418808_0f3f057a72_b.jpg

Sources:

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/ronnykerr/4897400542/
  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/youngandwithit/5620921280/
  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/mein_arkengel/5497989655/
  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/23am/3816468567/
  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/dirigentens/4592361218/
  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/sikander/3941418808/

4 Human Jobs Outsourced to Animals – Weird Worm

4 Human Jobs Outsourced to Animals

People can train animals to do almost anything, whether it’s sit or fart on cue; however none of this stuff is of any real use to the rest of the world. As hilarious as it is to train your dog to sing along to the radio, Fido sure isn’t going to be contributing to society anytime soon.

However there are some animals out there desperate to teach humanity that not only can animals be useful, they can also be far superior to that of anything humans have come up with so far. Animals like…

Parrots are popular amongst pirates, Jimmy Buffett fans, and people who like feeding things crackers. Their ability to mimic human language makes them entertaining pets when taught rap lyrics or phrases like “cock and balls”. Their ability to understand language, however, is not only impressive and creepy as hell; it also makes extremely popular with drug smugglers.

parrotsAnd alcoholics…

Wait, what?

A Columbian gang trained parrots to shout “run, run, the cat is going to get you” in Spanish whenever they saw a police uniform. One of the parrots, Lorenzo, would alert the smugglers before the police closed in on their hideout. “You could say he was some sort of watch bird,” Officer Hollman Oliveira said after Lorenzo was taken into custody.

When police raided the building Lorenzo was guarding they seized over two hundred weapons, arrested four men and two other parrots. You read that right, they arrested the parrots. The police snuck by Lorenzo the easiest way possible-by sending undercover cops. After the raid, when uniformed police showed up, Lorenzo went into overdrive. He started squawking his warning and wouldn’t stop. “He spent the whole morning saying that,” police Colonel Freddy Veloza told reporters.

parrots1The urge to stick him on their shoulders must have been immense

Lorenzo isn’t the only lookout parrot. Columbian authorities say they have captured over 1,700 parrots trained to shout warnings. The authorities declined to comment on how many of their shouted warnings were “cock and balls,” but we must assume it numbers in the hundreds.

Seized lookout parrots are turned over to environmental authorities, and what they do with them is unclear. Most likely they are sold as pets or released into the wild, but we hope (and if the Columbian police are reading, suggest) they are trained to perch on officer’s shoulders and sing the theme song to Cops.

parrots2“Bad boys, bad boys…”

 

It may come as a huge surprise to you, but crows are able to recognize human faces, and will attack people who pissed them off. They are also able to pass on human descriptions to other crows, and those other crows will attack them as well.

crow manhunters

The US military heard of this and had one thought: manhunts.

Wait, what?

They contacted John Marzluff, the researcher who ran the study linked above, and asked if he could train crows to hunt Bin Laden. “if a group of crows knew bin Laden as an enemy, they would certainly indicate his presence when they next saw him” Marzluff said. He explained that they would teach the crows that Bin Laden was an enemy by having people wear Bin Laden masks, harass or kill crows, and then waiting for the description of Bin Laden to spread by word of caw.

crow manhunters1The winner of “Worst costume award” at last year’s Halloween party

Marzluff says the military funding for the program ended a few years ago, and he doesn’t know if the military continued training crows on their own. It’s doubtful their still training crows to find Bin Laden because, if you’re not up to date on current events, he’s dead. He also says the military was interested in training crows to help with the search and rescue of missing soldiers, which we at Weirdworm have to point out could go horribly wrong. It would presumably involve making a Mission Impossible style mask of the missing soldier, then having someone wear it and piss off a lot of crows. After word gets out and the crows find the soldier, they’re not going to radio back to base. They’d dive bomb his ass. The soldier’s “rescue” would be an attack by a shitload of angry crows. There’s a reason a group of crows is called a “murder”.

3.

Seeing Eye Mini-Horses

Like all animals, horses differ in size. Smaller horses are ponies, but horses under three feet are called miniature horses. They’re normal horses in every sense, except they’re classified in the adorable kingdom.

mini horsesAww

People have them as pets, and some people go overboard. There are miniature horse shows, competitions and specific judging characteristics. It was only a matter of time before people trained them to lead blind people around.

Wait, what?

Miniature horses can be trained to guide the blind, much like seeing eye dogs. Horses are herd animals, and will stick by their owners through instinct. They won’t bolt after birds or drag their owners into traffic by chasing cars.

Horses live longer than dogs and can be trained to do things dogs can’t, like point out the walk button at intersections. Some Muslims find dogs to be unclean, but will allow horses in their homes. Most important, horses will wear some adorable shoes.

mini horses1

However, there are downsides to guide horses. Horses eat more than dogs, so having one means dealing with a lot of shit. They can startle, or rear up and flail their hooves. If Lord of the Rings to be believed, it sucks to be kicked by a horse. They’re also larger than dogs, so they’re harder to transport in cars or airplanes.

Although service animals are protected under the Americans with Disabilities act, some areas are reluctant to classify horses as service animals. Sometimes they’re labelled companion animals, exotic animals or livestock. This has led to lawsuits from mini horse owners, whose complaints probably stated “What the hell guys, I’m blind. Let me use my damn horse.”

Camels are known for two things, their humps and their toes. They’re capable of surviving for long times without water so they’re suitable for desert climates. They’ve long since been domesticated and been used as pack animals. It’s their docile nature that makes them good with humans and great wrestlers.

camel wrestlers

Wait, what?

Turkish tribes discovered they could make two male camels wrestle if a female was nearby. When the males smell the female’s scent they get jealous and fight for boning rights. Camel wrestling contests became a tradition that has been passed down through the centuries.

camel wrestlers1

There’s more to it than just putting two camels in a ring and watching them fight. Good wrestling camels are specifically bred and taught fighting techniques, including headlocks, pinning the opponent’s knees and leg sweeps. One camel, Crazy Ozer, is considered unbeatable because of his intelligence and technique.

A match is won when a camel is forced to the ground or, what happens most often, one runs away. Before any animal rights activists start going nuts, the wrestling isn’t dangerous. The camels wear muzzles so they can’t bite each other and they don’t wear blades like cockfights. If anyone is unclear, cockfights are between two roosters, not a game guys play in group showers.

The Turkish government banned the games in 1923, but they were legalized in 1980 for being an important part of Turkish culture. In the 1850’s, when Jefferson Davis decided to import camels to use as cavalry mounts, an Army Lieutenant tried to make camel wrestling popular in America. Unfortunately, his efforts were disrupted by a minor event known as the Civil War.

So if you’re wondering why you’ve never seen two camels wrestle, blame the 1860’s. Thanks a lot guys.

Written by Emma Jennins – Copyrighted © www.weirdworm.com Image Sources

Image sources:

  • – Parrots: http://resources1.news.com.au/images/2010/06/03/1225874/965797-parrot.jpg http://www.portlandtribune.com/news_graphics/128095000422842900.jpg http://www.makebelieve.com/images_product/normal/Dillon/18-5031.jpg
  • – Crow Manhunters: http://rt.com/files/news/flying-squad-of-crows-attacks-people/090704-crow.n.jpg http://www.guidehorse.org/images/ghf_bw_twinkie.jpg
  • – Seeing Eye Mini-Horses: http://www.horsesden.com/pics/miniature-horse8.jpg
  • – Camel Wrestlers: http://fohn.net/camel-pictures-facts/the-pictures/Arabian-Camel-800×600.jpg

4 More Human Jobs Outsourced to Animals – Weird Worm

4 More Human Jobs Outsourced to Animals

A few weeks ago, we talked about animals that seem to be going the extra mile to show humanity that they aren’t just dribbling little instinct-driven balls of stuff. Well, here’s some more.

cormorant fishermen

There are times when fishing can be a pain in the ass. Rods and lines snap, the fish get away, or they just don’t bite. When you’re fishing for fun, you can just drink a beer and say that the fish are being dicks. When your income and/or food is dependent on catching fish, it can be a serious problem. A long time ago some Japanese fishermen thought up a way around this problem- make bird’s fish for them.

Wait, what?

About 1300 years ago, Japanese fisherman began training cormorants to fish for them. The birds are caught in the wild, brought inland and trained to catch fish in rivers. Cormorants are used to salt water and ocean fish, so teaching them to hunt in rivers takes practice. It takes about two weeks for the cormorants to get used to fresh water and being around people and can take three years for them to be fully trained.

Fishermen take the cormorants out into the water, place a metal ring around their necks and attach it to a leash. The cormorants dive into the water, catch fish and bring them back to the boat, where they vomit them up. If that sounds gross, the fish don’t make it all the way to the birds’ stomach. The ring around the birds’ necks prevents them from swallowing larger fish but allows smaller fish to pass.

cormorant fishermen1

Modern advances in fishing technology has made cormorant fishing inefficient, so it has all but died out. It is still practiced on the Nagaragawa river, but as a tourist attraction more than a way to catch fish. It’s said that Charlie Chaplin thought it was pretty cool, and we have to agree. So if you’re ever in Japan looking for a spectacle and some vomited fish, you now have an option besides behind a late night sushi bar.

Ferrets are like an odd joke from god: they almost look like rats, but are just cute enough that people will want to hold and pet them instead of hitting them with a brick.

ferretsThe cuteness threshold is totally within acceptable parameters

Ferrets are very friendly and playful animals making them great pets, even Paris Hilton has one. The best and most unique feature of a ferret is its flexibility. In fact, it’s actually possible to bend a ferret in half with no ill effect. Meaning it is entirely possible to pretend to break your ferret’s spine to confuse and terrify onlookers, training your ferret to play dead and give the ferret version of the finger is entirely recommended. In fact it’s this flexibility that makes them perfect for being cable layers.

Wait, what?

Ferrets are naturally inquisitive and will instinctively burrow or explore holes, some companies have taken advantage of this and are using the little guys to help them repair cables.

The ferrets are fitted with tiny little jackets that are used to detect broken or damaged cables with a special chip, this actually saves the company money as they don’t have to disrupt people’s lives with building work, and instead can simply send in wave after wave of ferrets. Not to mention the ferrets look so damn dapper.

ferrets1Where the hell is its tiny top hat?

Ferrets have actually been used by people for years, even being credited with helping save the millennium concert by attaching harnesses to them and luring them underground to lay television cables where human means simply can’t reach. That means a ferret in a charming little harness is actually more useful than modern technology. Hell even royalty owe the mighty ferret, as they were instrumental in laying cables for the wedding of Princess Diana.

ferrets2Looking swish, Mr Pickles.

Bugs and insects are normally quite freaky, which is our way of saying pant-shittingly terrifying, but something about the kissing bug actually sounds kind of cute. Kissing isn’t scary, hell we’ve heard it’s actually pretty enjoyable, a bug that kisses sounds like something from a Disney film or something. However, as soon as you see this thing though you’ll forget all that.

kissing bugsKill it with ALL the fire!

Science has lied to us again, because not only is that thing creepy as shit it doesn’t kiss, it sucks blood, from your fucking lips! That’s not fucking kissing, that’s terrifying, but apparently they have found a use for this creature as a syringe instead of a stain on the bottom of your shoe.

Wait, what?

The bug releases a pain relieving enzyme when it bites, we can almost certainly guess this is to stop people punching themselves in the face as soon as they feel this fucking thing on their face. Scientists noticed though that they insect could suck the blood of a creature without it noticing, you know what creatures do notice though? Being stuck with a needle.

kissing bugs1“I have so many zebra kick wounds for sticking them with these things”

Using kissing bugs scientists have managed to take painless blood samples from rhinos, cheetahs and giraffes, creatures that would all need to be sedated beforehand. This reduces unnecessary stress for the animals and is also relatively painless for them. It also reduces the need for specialised equipment as the bugs can suck blood from creatures as small as rodents all the way up to elephants.

Although still in the testing stage the experiment is showing promising results, however we can’t help but feel a little sad we’ll never see a zoo worker attempting to take an elephants blood sample with a comically oversized needle, but we put our dreams away.

Spider are fucking terrifying, black widows even more so. A tarantula, despite being a walking nightmare is at the very least visible. Sure the last thing you get to see is yourself shitting your pants, but the second to last thing would be the creature that caused it. Black widows throw this entire thing out of the window by being so small they can easily hide anywhere, like say under your toilet seat.

black widowsPooping: one more thing spiders have ruined.

When not trying to attack your butt, the black widow is a deadly and effective hunter which is probably why people are using them to protect crops.

Wait, what?

There has been pressure on manufacturers in recent years to stop using pesticides as they’re dangerous for the environment, but like it or not they’re damn effective. However Tesco, a British company has come up with a perfectly sane solution, put spiders all over their vineyards. Ok so it’s actually a very effective counter-measure for reducing pests and actually really good for the environment. We can kind of appreciate the ingenuity of that, hell it’s not like people are finding them in their food is it?

Oh wait, people have found spiders in their food on multiple occasions. Usually when the spiders are alive and are fully capable of biting the shit out of someone, we’re sorry but no one needs grapes that fucking badly. For fuck sake Tesco, we’ve already ruined going to the toilet for most people, now we’re telling them that their food may contain a deadly spider, shit we’re bad at entertaining people.

black widows1

Now we really don’t want to sound like we’re insulting this company, we’re sure they have lawyers and market researchers who are paid very well and totally thought this idea was great, but Tesco, if your measure for saving the environment is at risk of fucking killing people, you need to fire someone for that shit. Oh and if our American readers are currently laughing at our British ones, this happens over in the states too. Nowhere is safe!

Written by Emma Jennins – Copyrighted © www.weirdworm.com Image Sources

Image sources:

  • – Cormorant Fishermen : http://www.riverclydefishing.com/cormant1.jpg http://blindflaneur.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/double_breasted_cormorant.jpg
  • – Ferrets: http://www.petprescription.co.uk/userfiles/Imageferret.jpg http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01607/ferret_1607795c.jpg http://www.ferretshop.com.au/image/products/Top_Hat.JPG
  • – Kissing Bugs: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/cf/Pgeniculatus2.jpg http://wwwdelivery.superstock.com/WI/223/1472/PreviewComp/SuperStock_1472R-71246.jpg
  • – Black Widows: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/cd/Black_Widow_11-06.jpg http://www.petsfoto.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/Black-Widow2.jpg

Insects as Pets

Keeping insects as pets requires some extra research into native versus non-native species, laws about keeping insects in your local area (usually applies to poisonous or invasive species). Also, like exotic animals, insects of some types may not be imported or kept in North America, without permits, licenses or other paperwork.

I would prefer something low maintenance and local. I’m not taking responsibility for an invasive species which might find a way to escape or breed, or anything else we don’t need more bugs doing.

Probably a quiet bug, not prone to escape from a jar with holes in the lid. Nothing poisonous or likely to bite, sting, or otherwise draw blood. Considering the lifespan of most insects, something like a butterfly isn’t a good choice. Although a cockroach could seem a practical choice, it’s not for me.

However, you can get some exotic and colourful creatures. I’d consider a spider. I did keep one in my window pane when I was a kid. Not intentionally, she just ended up there and I let her stay. In spring I discovered she had become a mother over the winter. There were hundreds of tiny spiders in my bedroom for awhile. I had put her and her nest (I’m calling it a nest) in a jar at some point. I waited a few days because it was pretty amazing to watch all those little spiders. But, I didn’t want them to die so I took them to the rooftop of my house and let them all free. They mostly set off on drafts of air rather than walking over the roof. I learned quite a bit about common spiders back then. I’m remembering more as I write this.

Like any pet, there’s a lot to consider with bug ownership—time, money and space being key concerns—and there are trendy pet bugs as much as their are trendy designer dogs. Ramsey’s journey began with books, and a lot of trial and error to figure out what kinds of food and living conditions different bugs required (errors oftentimes resulting in dead insects). Since his first pill bugs and earwigs, Ramsey has raised nine different species of praying mantis and several species of millipedes, spiders, and (really huge) stick insects, to name a few. Four giant silk moths currently flutter around his office space.

Source: How to Choose the Pet Bug That’s Right for You

You could look for an ant farm. Maybe not as popular these days but certainly one way to start having insects as pets.

Others easily available:

  • crickets
  • praying mantis
  • centipedes and milipedes
  • snails
  • grasshoppers
  • ladybugs
  • beetles
  • silk worms