Write your Mr. Right list. We’ve all done that at least once. Usually we say things like: intelligent, sense of humour, good spelling, good hygenie, able to dress himself, does not drool or drag knuckles in public, tallish, somewhat romantic/ brings a flower on your birthday, does not collect something gross like his toenail clippings, is not late without calling you, uses his best manners and polite conversation at dinner with your family, able to do home repairs/ fix cars/ fix your computer/ or at least open tightly stuck jar lids and squish bugs.
Write your Mr. Wrong list. You may have done that one. To get you started I’d say: does not like children or animals, has said the c-word in your hearing, makes awful jokes about fat people or other stereotyped people who are easy targets, rude to customer service type people, poor table manners, idea of good sex is grabbing your boobs before he falls asleep, does not listen to you, letting you do his laundry is his idea of romance, and kissing with a mouthful of spit.
Now, for something different… combine your Mr. Right and Mr. Wrong to make one guy. If your list for each of them has ten points pick 5 from each list and create a character, call him Mr. Maybe. Would you date him? Would you sleep with him? How much do you miss being part of a couple? How low will you go?
Add to the Mr. Maybe situation the fact that you fell in love with him. I don’t know why. I’m not sticking my nose into your personal life… well, not too much. How many of Mr. Maybe’s flaws could you overlook if you were in love. How many excuses would you make for him? How much compromising will you do to make it work?
Keep in mind, it’s really easy to say no here, on paper. Things are different in the real world when you’re still single or single and again and not liking it all that much, all the time.