Things You Can Do with Hair

Everywhere I go, there I am. My hair I mean. How do people have so much hair available that they can have an endless trail of it all over the place. If you get lost in the woods don’t worry about silly things like which side of the tree moss grows on or the old traditional things like a trail of breadcrumbs. Just follow your own hair back to where you started from. A version of Rapunzel really. I bet it would work too.

Of course, if you happen to have short hair it would be tougher. Animals have short hair too. Some guy could be out there trying to follow this plan and end up walking into a bear’s cave or something. Like that would be an entirely bad thing. It gives a whole new option on disposing of his body. How can they possibly think you did anything if a bear ate him out in the woods. It’s not your fault he got lost. Everyone knows how men never want to ask for directions.

Why do we like to plan the demise of our men? Seems a bit unfair or slightly mean. Yet, it is fun. Maybe you have to be divorced at least once to really enjoy a good man bashing. I’m not mean spirited. Not really. I don’t try to kill strange men. Though I’m not thinking of any man in particular when I do create my nasty plots and body disposal ideas. He’s kind of generic though nice enough looking. Maybe he was even a nice guy at some point. I wouldn’t have bothered getting to know a jerk after all.

Poor guy. Still, he must have done something. Likely he pretended not to know how to wash windows one too many times. Or he asked where his socks were like a simpleton. Maybe he farted and laughed. That bugs me, man stink is not funny or something you want in the same room unless he is doing some real labour like fixing and repairing something. It is kind of nice to watch them doing home repairs, painting something, quietly hammering… screwing… I like watching them shave too. I don’t know why. It’s nice to see some face stubble and then watch him lather up that manly chin and shave all that whiskery hair away.

So here we are, back full circle to hair again. Funny how men lose theirs. I just know it’s some kind of revenge for childbirth, extra fat cells, cramps and chocolate cravings. Not enough revenge. Possibly that’s why we have daydreams about doing bad things to men, even the ones we kind of like.

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