Things to do with Paper

I can’t believe how I always get screwed by pieces of damned paper. I actually like paper, I read from it and I write on it frequently. I even compost and recycle it. I have been known to pat, not quite hug, a tree. So why does paper seem to curse me on a regular basis.

I think it’s not the paper, I can’t blame something so white and simple looking. It is the people who are behind the paper. The people who love to make things complicated and nitpicky. I detest and despise people who do this. It causes so many stupid and unnecessary and pointless endless tangles and headaches. Not to mention all the trees who have been sacrificed for these people. Do they even consider the blood on their hands. Well, more like sap I suppose. I doubt it crosses their mind. Maybe once in a while when they bump into a recycling box and kick it aside out of their way.

If I wasn’t such a quiet, nice grrl I would join up one of those revolution dump-the-government groups. Though it’s not just the government. I’d have to look for one that included anyone who puts paper ahead of people. Anyone who has forgotten there is real life outside of their fancy little collections of paperclips and paper holding folders.

The group I would join is one who wants to gather all the paper people into a corral made of cardboard and give them broken staplers and dried up pens as their only method of escaping and ever seeing daylight again. Assuming they still remember what daylight (real light not the inside lightbulb kind) is. Who knows when they last looked up from their piles of paper to see the sky. Likely it was the last time it rained and their paper got dripped on by God (whatever god-like creation you choose to believe).

The biggest problem I have with these people is not that they exist. It’s the way they have of attacking at just the point where you think things will be ok, that you have it worked out at last. Suddenly they swoop down on paper airplanes and take things away from you until you offer them a form (their fancy name for paper) which never existed until now or one you already gave them but not at the right time. Or maybe you just didn’t get it from the right place or signed by the right person or whatever their excuse is for such shoddy behaviour and the abuse and destruction of forests of trees.

It seems the modern world is built on paper. If you are someone who doesn’t fit into the paper world you get screwed over regularly by those who thrive in it. As if it’s all a battle which they are winning. A battle to make the world smaller and smaller, like origami in tidy, tight folds. There really should be some kind of group for fighting back. Even if we have no hope of winning at this point. I think the paper people have created things too well for anyone to exist without their approval correctly sorted, dated and signed with several copies.

Think of the trees. Think of breathing the air without the trees. Paper people won’t notice when no one else can breathe. They will all be locked away in their own world, filing paperwork. Outside the world around them will die but it won’t change a thing. They can play together without us, they just need a good photocopier, office supplies and a huge stack of fresh paper. None of us were ever real to them anyway.

Leave a comment