The Monthly Madness

This was my column for Bewitching Vagabond at BackWash today.

Today’s babble will probably squick some of the boys/ men, so you have been warned.

It’s a period thing. When I was younger I didn’t notice anything about myself changing at this time of the month. I can’t say the same about the age I am now. Maybe it’s part of upcoming menopause or just the winding down of the female brain in general. I have nothing scientific, just mad science.

But, I have noticed a definite difference in myself in the day(s) before and during that time of the month. In total it’s not quite a week of time. I get a lot more sensitive and I have a big tendency to fall into a deep pit of depression. I’m writing this cause today I really can’t write anything else, I’ve been trying. I feel like my life, all the negative things, are piling in over my head and I’m being left in some hole to dig my way out when I wake up and feel better one day.

Yesterday I woke up and knowing I’m going through a bit of a rough spot I decided I would compile my limited funds and go out for breakfast. That usually cheers me up. At the very least I like the smell of bacon and eggs and when I’m out I don’t have to clean any of it up or get zapped by the bacon as it fries. All good things.

I made the mistake of feeling optimistic enough to look at the dating part of Craigslist. Why do we sabotage ourselves with this swill? I read a post that seemed really sincere, someone else feeling alone in the big city and wishing to meet someone. I was wrong, well sort of. I wrote a note. He replied. I sent another one and that was it. I made the fatal flaw of being honest. You see, men only want porn models, not attractive real women. It doesn’t matter who you are on the inside, only what you are on the outside.

I am sorry I let that one dickhead spoil what I was trying to make of my day. But, it did. I didn’t go out and I spent the day feeling awful and the most I did was wash dishes and make a blog post from a photo I had taken on Sunday. Pathetic. Normally, I would have gotten angry and not been down on myself, life and everything. But, it’s that time of the month and I seem to get sucked into this portal of despression so easily.

I’m glad it is about the last day today. I am pushing myself out the door once I give this a quick spellcheck and post it up.

I know I’m not the only one going through this kind of madness at this time of the month. I never really understood it till now. I’ve always thought it was just part of someone’s outlook in general. But, I’m not a moody person, I am usually optimistic, open and friendly. This is just not me and yet I am having a hard time overcoming it. I’m glad it’s only once a month. Easier to think of it as just 12 times a year, that sounds like a lot less.

Anyway, my sympathy to the other women out there who go through this (or worse) at that time of the month. Don’t do something you will regret later. Try not to email anyone in any heat of the moment. Do your best to pull through cause you know it will only be a few days.

See you later.

Should you be curious… it’s true. I am on a mouse for sale at CafePress. You can also get me on a coffee mug, a canvas bag and other accessories.

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