What kind of a month has it been for you?
I finally moved mostly everything I own into this basement apartment. Still a lot to organize but I’ve been procrastinating. Partly due to a lack of drawers to put things away into. Partly cause I don’t feel like this is home. Today I had a wood louse on my floor. Those are bugs that look like pill bugs but can’t actually roll up into a pill. They like damp, dark places and wood to nibble on. I don’t have a lot of rotting wood but it is dark and a touch dampish. I have a space heater and I have a water sucker thing (humidifier is not the right word for it – I think it’s the water mister thing).
I am looking for work, not as hard as I could be, but looking. I applied at a few places, some of them online writing jobs which may not pay very much. I’m not sure yet.
I have a stockade of tomato soup that I’m sure someone, somewhere would be jealous of. Luckily, I like tomato soup now, I haven’t always. I also have really nice salsa but I have to nibble at it carefully cause the raw onions make me sick. Tomorrow I need to buy more coffee and some other groceries. Woman can not live on tomato soup and salsa alone.
My Christmas tree is sitting in it’s original ‘White Rose Santa’s Choice’ box. I am not putting up anything Christmas until at least December, officially the day after today. I might wait till closer to my birthday, if not that day itself. I’m going to have a kind of stingy birthday this year. In the past I have treated myself well on some occasions: twice I stayed at a hotel downtown overnight and ate out somewhere deluxe, blew money on books and other trinkets I could have done without. A couple of times I bought a Greyhound bus ticket and road (bus) tripped my way across Canada, staying at the Youth Hostels. This time I will settle for something less travelicious. Maybe dinner out with a good book.
I am caving on the whole idea of meeting anyone, penis included. What is wrong with men in their 40’s anyway? It seems like the decade of the shallow, selfish perverts. I’m sure they can’t all be that way. At least that’s my theory and I do have one or two test specimens to prove it. Of course, I haven’t met them in the flesh, face to face. Maybe all those other guys seem normal from a safe distance too.
It’s beginning to tick me off, just beginning and mildly, that John has not replied to any of my emails. Last time I heard from him was in July. I have tried to put him out of my limited brain space. It’s not working. All I have to do is read his last email and all my questions come forth again. He seemed so sincere and not that standard guy I keep meeting. He seemed to really want to meet ME. The me that I am not the me that I try to become for those sap suckers. It’s frustrating to find someone who seems almost too good to be true and then find out he never really existed or just vanished into some time warp or was sucked up by aliens, or something.
Don’t think I’m all doom and gloomy. I’m doing ok. I felt yucky today and went back to bed. How many people can do that? It was nice. I woke up feeling much better and with a plan of action about the job searching thing. We’ll see how that latest one goes over. I emailed it away a few hours ago. Then I wasted time playing Neopets and watching people shoot each other on TV. Now it’s late enough to go to bed but I feel that would be a bit too much slacking off after I got up late and had a nap. So I’m writing a bit of this and that. It’s too early to get out there for the bus. I may hop out if I stay up till 5:30 or so. Places open for breakfast at 6:00 you know. It’s always fun to be up early, before the sun and pretend civilization has crashed and I’m scurrying among the survivors. Ok, maybe that’s just me.
I am making some progress with the apartment. I put together the bookshelves by myself and they are still standing, fully loaded with books even. I’m impressed.
I had one first date so far. It didn’t go anywhere and I never heard from him again. I’m so good at that! It’s not a bad skill to have. If you’re never going to see them again you may as well never hear from them again either. I did not hide the body! I know what certain of you will be thinking… Happy.
I began plotting a story. Maybe it will be the one that makes it into book length. I could at least work on being a one hit wonder. Why put on the pressure to be some world famous book writer with thirty of them published before I die? Far too much pressure. If you settle for being a one hit wonder you get that book out there plus you have the aura of mystery and you can be on some blog post about ‘Whatever happened to…’ That’s got to be worth something.