Starving for a Man

mouthlessgrrlI’ve heard a debate about how women are becoming (being) anorexic in order to conform to the media image of a stick thin woman or the other side of the debate says she wants to be stick thin but with boob implants in order to please men. A few people try to say she’s doing it for herself, to feel better about herself. Don’t believe them.

I’m doing it to please men. Also, to try to stretch my grocery shopping dollars from one end of the month to the other. It’s not fun or particularly amusing. But, one can of tomato soup can be filling for quite awhile if you take your mind off of things immediately afterwards by watching TV, playing games on the computer or taking a trek outside. The TV is a poor distraction, all those ads for fast food don’t do me any favours. Plus that McDonald’s commercial with the alarm clock pisses me off to extremes. Who wants to hear an alarm clock shrilling away at you when you’re in the middle of watching mindless TV.

I don’t think I have lost much weight so far. My sister did say I looked thinner when she saw me last weekend. So there is hope.

Don’t count on me ever having the boob job part of this though. My boobs are just fine, already a happy pair of DD, I expect they will shrink down to a C or B and I will be just fine with that. I had a Family Studies teacher in high school who tried to keep herself a bit chubby cause each time she dieted to be a bit thinner her boobs disappeared. That was just her body type, thin and boobless. I think about her now and then. My body type is not thin or boobless. I’m one of those curvy types, just over doing it on the curviness at the moment. Once I melt myself away I will have an hourglass figure. Even now I have a small waist, though it’s hidden away under big clothes.

That’s another interesting thing, the clothes you choose to wear. I go for comfort and nice colours. I don’t care for the tailored look and I really don’t care for fashion. Why follow what worked for some other skinny woman when I can wear something that works for me. I’m a fashion leader in my own mind. I do look very good in red too, I wear it on days I want to dress to impress. Or days when I’m feeling kind of down and need a little boost. It almost always works too.

I think I will get out for groceries on Monday, if not over the weekend. I have about $100 left to cover this month. Rent is taken care of. I bought the TTC pass so I’m ok for getting around on all the buses I could stand for (literally since they are often busy with standing room only). The only real expense left for this month is groceries. I can manage. It’s only for myself after all.

Sometimes I think about what if Todd and I had kids. How would I be managing if I wasn’t alone now? I guess I could get help from the government, a little freeloading for the sake of the kids. But that wouldn’t be good for me. How would it feel to have your kids know you were freeloading when they see other Mothers on TV with great careers, cars, a house, dating, taking trips here and there and never seeming to really have any financial hardships. It wouldn’t be a good feeling to be a Mom struggling these days. At least she might be thin. The media and men in general like a thin woman.

I’m glad the fashion show types are beginning to change. They have made some rules for standards of how thin a woman should be to appear in their shows. She is still underweight but they prefer one who doesn’t look like she just escaped from her grave. Not a little meat on her exactly but the potential to live until the end of the show, not quite starving herself to death.

In that case it is interesting to think about who they are doing it for. Those teenaged girls (most of them seem to be high school age) who dream of making their fortune by trotting down a runway wearing something someone thinks is going to be the next big fashionable thing every woman simply must have. What are those girls starving themselves for? Think about how ironic it is that they have to be stick then to sell clothes to us. We, who are not often stick thin, yet perhaps dream of being so in order to get dates. Round and round it goes…

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