Creative Fat Grrl

Creative Fat Grrl was a name I invented for myself when I wrote a web column for Lockergnome. I was looking for something that felt like me, not one of the bright, trendy and excitable young people who create energetic YouTube video posts on the side. It was something I could live up to without feeling left out. I kept it going for a couple of years. The name still works for creative arts sort of posts. Most of the posts in this category will be written for that column or others.

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8 Brutal Truths About Loving A First-Born (As Written By One) | YourTango

So…you’re in love with an oldest child, huh?

Oldest children are the best kind of children. (But, of course, I’m biased because I’m an oldest child myself – of five!) If you have the good fortune of loving/dating/marrying/sexing one of us, congrats to you, good sir! You’re in for a fun ride. Just buckle your seat belt first and pay attention to these safety instructions first, will ya?

  1. We’re bossy. Like this song, yo. But for real, most oldest children are used to ruling the roost and telling their pep squad of little bro and sis’s what to do and how to do it. This works until said little bro and sis get old enough and put you in your damn place. But still, the bossiness remains.

 

  1. We’re a little entitled. Our parents gave us every opportunity in the world and fawned over us and took more baby photos of us and were more careful the first time around with us, so we’re used to being treated a little special. Life, and all it’s hardships, have a way of chipping away at this perceived “specialness” but still, we got more attention than the rest of our siblings and it’s something that sticks with us forever.

  2. We get along great with youngest children. I have no scientific data to back this up, except to say that nearly all my ex-boyfriends (and my current beau) are youngest kids. Maybe they like the authority; who knows?

4. We seek validation. Our parents praised our every move and yes, I know, they really should’ve cut back on that a bit. But as a result of this, we like to be patted on the back and given gold stars when we’ve done something positive. Which leads me to…

Fatherless Woman Syndrome » The Liberator Magazine

The woman who is too clingy holds on to a man for dear life in fear that he will reject her and leave her like the first man in her life—her dad. The man who she is clinging to perceives her as being too much of a responsibility, so he leaves.

The woman who is afraid of commitment is very defensive and guards her heart—she doesn’t let herself get too close. This woman usually calls herself the “independent woman.” The title is something she believes will shield her from dealing with a greater reality, the reality of having the “syndrome.” She may believe that being in a relationship with a man is a sign of weakness—not realizing that it can be a sign of strength, because that mate is there to compliment the person she is. Men want nothing more then to feel wanted by their woman. It makes a man feel good to be our “knights in shining armor,” so if he feels unappreciated he will eventually get tired of it, and leave.

In both instances, it leaves a woman in precisely the predicament she fears—alone.

Fatherless women have to be more conscious in their actions while in a relationship. Many times, we feel as if we are at war trying to fight off the symptoms of the syndrome in order to have a healthy relationship.

via Fatherless Woman Syndrome » The Liberator Magazine.

Fatherless Women: What Happens to the Adult Woman who was Raised Without her Father? – by Gabriella Kortsch, Ph.D.

Finding Self-Confidence and Recognition in the Self

The core of the matter is, of course, that the self-confidence and recognition so avidly sought must be found within oneself rather than in the outer world – at least initially – in order to be of lasting and true value. The world of emotions that is avoided out of fear or because one never really learned what love is, must first be found in oneself (i.e. it is necessary to love the self before one loves another). The task of accomplishing this, requires that the individual become aware of him or herself (by observing the self, the self-talk, and all emotions that occur, good or bad, since all of these serve to give clues about the true self), and that absolute honesty about oneself be employed in this process. Let the reader be warned: this process is not a simple weekend project; it must be ongoing throughout life; it must become second nature, but it will pave the road to finding inner self-confidence and love for oneself, which will in turn lead to the abolishment of the need for finding these things in another. This is one of the roads to inner freedom that psychological knowledge offers.

via Fatherless Women: What Happens to the Adult Woman who was Raised Without her Father? – by Gabriella Kortsch, Ph.D..