Links to check later

Mother and Me

My Mother and I have a relationship like this. Not to the point where we are fighting or angry or not talking. We live in the same house, again. I didn’t get luck and find or create a family of my own. My husband decided he didn’t want to be married after our first year of marriage. So I ended up moving back with my family again. Once my Dad died it was my Mom and I. She goes down to the US over winter so I have the house to myself half a year. It’s all so different then. As much as I do like my Mother she takes over my life and I seem to just let her. I feel like I just give in and coast along the half year she is here. Then, the other half I spend feeling like myself again and trying to get some where, until she is back again. It’s funny cause she has changed and tries to support me these days. But she still discourages me from trying anything, even though she will later say how good I am at… whatever it is. Its frustrating. I’m going to be 50 in a few more years. Lately I feel I have been slowly giving up. Anyway, TMI by far. I didn’t think anyone else actually felt the same way about their Mother or had the same growing up situation with their parents. I don’t feel quite so guilty after reading your post.

Against Homophobia

My nephew is a 16 year old boy/ young man in high school. His generation has very different issues from mine, when I was in high school. I remember the campaigns about not doing drugs. His school has campaigns about accepting homosexuality, promoting it as an option. Quite different from the years of campaigning against teens having sex at all.

I think about the issue of homosexuality, not as pro or con but how it has grown and been shoved at us to the point where almost no one dares to say anything against it. If you aren’t pro homosexulaity you are afraid it, homophobic. This is as silly as saying someone against smoking has a fear of cigarettes. I think the fear does come into play as people are not allowed to speak out against the issue of homosexuality, without facing backlash and being accused of being some kind of bigot, snob, or worse. I haven’t heard of anyone beating up homosexuals in the streets in many years. Now, the reverse seems more likely. Speaking your opinion in any way not supporting homosexuality and the other gender options is likely to get you beat up, at least verbally.

Anyway, I do think about the whole thing, as it pertains to the young people especially. I was once asked how I know I am not gay or bisexual. I gave it some thought. How do I know? When I think about having someone’s hands caressing my body in a loving/ sexual way they are a man’s hands. I don’t feel the same about a woman. Yes, I could be turned on by a woman, just as I could be turned on using a sex toy. But, is using a sex toy the same as a lover? Not in my thinking. A man’s hands, the size and shape of them, the extra bit of hair on the back of the hands and knowing the man they

Old Blog – April 2003

APRIL 14, 2003
BONZI BUDDY INVASIONI’ve updated my AdAware. LavaSoft’s freeware spy catcher software. It works great. Much better than the old version I’ve had for ages. It just occured to me to check for an update. The new version got rid of a lot of stuff, mostly left from Alexa, that the old version of AdAware didn’t catch.

PS- Snood is working fine now but it did automatically install that damn Bonzi Buddy on my computer. No screen to ask if it was ok first. I just opened my menu and there it was. It was all over the computer too. Very invasive. Very poor of the Snood people to do that. Makes me angry really. They want you to pay for their game but they stick you with invasive software that takes another program to get rid of it. At least I hope it’s all gone. How can you really be sure? I haven’t yet done a registry search but AdAware seemed to be pretty thorough in it’s own search of the registry so I’m leaving it for now.

Anyway, BOOO to Snood. I wouldn’t pay for it after this. I do like the game but I don’t want to support a company that supports Bonzi Buddy. Makes you wonder about the Snood program itself.

Posted by ltripp at 12:58 AM
APRIL 13, 2003
RIDDLE ME THISWelcome to the Weekly Escape

A weekly newsletter with quotations and really good riddles. I’ve subscribed. I especially like the riddles.

Posted by ltripp at 11:05 PM
APRIL 12, 2003
AFTERWARDSI had a great day yesterday.

The Tim Hortons I remembered from the last time I was lost but it was a LOT farther than I thought. I drove almost up to the lake. It was actually in Keswick. I stopped in Canadian Tire cause that was right there too. I bought some practical rust inhibitor for my car and the pretty impractical sewing machine. It’s pretty small but it was $40 compared to the $400 one that someone stole when I moved back here.

After all that driving I never did go to that Tim Hortons. They had it cut off in the parking lot so you had to go back on the highway and then spin around really fast to get into their driveway. Instead I had lunch at the Swiss Chalet across the street. Nice lunch at just the time before the lunch crowd started. Very peaceful and I enjoyed sitting in the sunny window.

On the way back I took a detour or two just to see where they went. I considered going home as I got back that way but instead I drove right past the house and went to Uxbridge for groceries and a Tim Hortons coffee there.

Other than the groceries which I needed anyway and the sewing machine the whole trip cost just over $20, including gas. Pretty nice day and I had the radio cranked up the whole ride. Windows down too cause it was beautiful outside after all our snow and ice.

Posted by ltripp at 12:58 PM
APRIL 11, 2003
SOMETHING I WROTE DOWN AT WORK ONE DAYYou get punished for the things you do wrong. But seldom are you rewarded for the good things. Instead, the things you do right are taken for granted. I think thats one problem in parenting. Kids who do well are over looked for the kids who do wrong. Thus kids are not rewarded for good behaviour, honesty and etc.

Posted by ltripp at 11:52 PM
LIFE OF THE BEDROOM
Life of the bedroom

What sex catagory do you fit?
brought to you by Quizilla

Posted by ltripp at 09:28 PM
FRIDAY ROAD TOURIt’s Friday and I have the day off. Plus I have money! What a great day this is shaping up to be. It’s even sunny out and most of the ice storm is melted or melting. Even our driveway is showing through again. Too bad the path up to the front door is on the sheltered side, it’s still snowbound. But they say Monday will be up to 20 degrees C. That will finish all the ice/ snow.

It was kind of neat though. How often is the snow so hard and icey that you can stand on it and not have your feet sink, not even one quarter of an inch. (Using imperial measurements for the Americans).

So, what are the plans for the day? No plans! Those are the best plans. I might go to Chapters, I might go out for lunch to the Swiss Chalet or I might just drive until I stop somewhere and see what I end up with. I might even get lost and find something new. Anyway, I know there is a Tim Hortons donut shop where I can get a coffee to start the day. Its along Woodbine but north of Newmarket. So once I shut down the computer and fill up the gas tank I’m off for adventure of the road touring kind. I could even stay over night somewhere, I have Saturday off too. But, it’s a bit too much money for hotels. If only I could win the lottery!

There were some things I could have gone to but they are all in the downtown zone. Even if I could navigate the parking I’d still have to get all the way down there. People have started driving like speed idiots again now that the weather is warming up. So, I am happy to stick with north of the city. Besides, there is more to see and always a possible old house to explore. Not guaranteeing I’ll be brave enough to go in but at least I’ll see it. I can even take pictures from the road at the very least.

Well, enough typing. Time for action. Have a great day whatever you are doing.

Posted by ltripp at 08:07 AM
APRIL 10, 2003
INVASIVE BONZAI BUDDYI was wrong, it wasn’t Gator it was worse. That invasive spam program called Bonzai Buddy, however it’s spelt. That was the program that would install itself along with Snood. You couldn’t even use Snood if you turned down Bonzai Buddy. I found my old post about the whole thing in Kids BackWash.

I wrote to the program’s creator at the time and he insisted there was nothing wrong with Bonzai Buddy and it was not completely invasive. He was misled or misleading. Either way, we’ll see if he changed his tune.

Posted by ltripp at 02:15 AM
SNOODSnood
Snood is a great game. Lots of fun to play when you should be writing or whatever else you are procrastinating on. But, last time I tried it you were forced to install Gator too. Well, I do not want Gator so I decided not to keep the game either. Tonight I ran across a link to the site so I’m trying it again.

Posted by ltripp at 01:49 AM
KILLING US SOFTLYI think the scariest war news lately has been the finding of chemical/ biological weapons. Especially with the SARS and West Nile virus so much in the news here. It’s on everyone’s mind I would think. Hospitals are closed down under quarantine. How safe does that feel? How easy are we to target with some new disease that we couldn’t even hope to fight.

How damn stupid are the Americans to make a war in this day and age? It’s also ironic that so many deaths have come about due to their own people having accidents and killing each other.

Once upon a washroom stall…

Take the toys away from the boys.

It still applies.

Posted by ltripp at 12:13 AM
MONEY MONEY MONEYTomorrow is pay day and I will have money again. What a miserable invention is money. Having to count your needs by a dollar value and having to work so many hours to make so few dollars. What sadist came up with this scheme and why do we all make ourselves contine to follow it.

I’ve already put aside two pairs of pants and one new nightie that I will buy tomorrow before I start work. The pants are both marked down to $10 from being $25 when they came in stock around Christmas. So those are a good deal. I just don’t want to think about how many hours I had to work to make $20. The nightie I need because most of mine are silky things left over from the marriage that never grew. It’s time I got myself something new and not completely practical. OK, the computer games aren’t exactly practical and maybe the nightie is more practical than any of those but… I’m the one making the rules here.

Posted by ltripp at 12:06 AM
APRIL 09, 2003
STRONG AND FREEOh Canada

Canada. Eh?

I’m thinking of titles and taglines for a Canadian newsletter at BackWash. It’s going to be monthly. There are two reasons for making it monthly. One being a lack of Canadian content to add to the newsletter. Once a month should work out just right. The other reason is that this will be my fifth newsletter at BackWash. I couldn’t do it more than monthly and find something new to write and the time to type it out.

Anyway, I like the idea of a Canadian newsletter. I don’t think I’ve really seen something like that online before. There are some “proud to be Canadian” personal sites but I don’t of any newsletters.

We’ll see how it goes.

Posted by ltripp at 12:14 AM
TODAY AND TOMORROW AND YESTERDAY TOOBlog comments are a nuisance.

I’m too tired to write tonight. I updated Adult BackWash and that’s about it for tonight. I was up early for work this morning but I’m in later, finishing at close tomorrow.

Funny how tomorrow seems like today and today seems like yesterday when you’re looking at the time and it’s 11:26 PM.

Blog spam is also a nuisance. It’s also stupid. Yeah, annoy me and leave your contact information for me to play with. Don’t think I’m quite as nice as I seem. I choose not to be a bitch, not the other way around.

Posted by ltripp at 12:00 AM
APRIL 05, 2003
RICH IS THE ONE WHO NEEDS THE LEASTI don’t know who originally came up with this and I doubt I have it exactly right, but here is a quote from “An American in Canada” a TV show on CBC TV.

The rich person is not the one who has the most, but the one who needs the least.

I really like that.

Posted by ltripp at 12:45 AM
APRIL 04, 2003
FOR FORD TEMPO PEOPLEYahoo! Groups : FordTempo

I found an email list for other Tempo owners. I posted a question about my possibly leaking gas tank. Hope someone has something constructive or informative to say about it. Now that Spring is getting closer I would like to get taking more road trips. Its nice to start out with a full tank of gas rather than half full and wondering if I should stay close to towns for the next refill or dare I wander at will. I’d rather wander at will. Getting lost, getting sidetracked and having no worries.

Posted by ltripp at 08:32 PM
APRIL 01, 2003
BLOG MAPPERBlogmapper

This is interesting. I thought it was going to be like GeoURL but it’s not.

Posted by ltripp at 11:09 PM
JANE DUVALLall I need is everything

I was going to link to this on Adult BW. Jane is the woman who reviews adult sites on the web, Jane’s Guide. But this is a lot more than a sex blog. I’m actually reading it rather than just skimming.

Posted by ltripp at 10:46 PM
I’M AN OWL?Owl. The Animal In You

Owl
Genera and species: Tyto Alba
Collective Term: A parliament of owls

Description
The owl is the tranquil face of the bird personalities. A creature of great integrity, its quiet serene demeanor accords it an air of mystery and diffidence and it is known as the serene, wise observer of human society. Always well groomed, it is a noble individual with elegantly chiseled features that borders on the fine edge of beauty and homeliness. It’s large eyes are often framed by handsome eyeglasses.

But like all birds, the owl has a penchant for remaining above the fray and can be quite eccentric in maintaining their individuality. With a tendency to lose themselves in the pursuit of knowledge, owls are prone to disconnect with the relationships that are so important to them. But, they are the first to admit their shortcomings and manage to disarm their critics with a genuinely humble self-appraisal. Abraham Lincoln used this technique rather effectively in his reign as president.

Owls have developed quite a reputation for intelligence but it’s really their calm and insightful nature that gives this impression. Instead of an intellectual approach to life they use their deeper spiritual senses to guide them, and like their nocturnal cohort the bats, have a deeply philosophical bent.

Unlike the terrestrial creatures, the owl is not a prisoner of its sex-drive, but with its air of refined sensuality is hardly shy about throwing itself into the physical aspects of a relationship. When it focuses its sharp ardor on its lover it ignites a steamy and animated encounter. The owl views sex as a complement to its relationships and certainly not as a key component. It would do well to recognize the significance of physical affection outside the bedroom, for its partner is often starved for non-sexual reassurance.

A discussion with an owl is both enlightening and challenging. It somehow manages to spin the most mundane subjects into philosophical musings on the nature of humanity and the state of the world. While these discussions are provocative and engaging, they often obscure the real purpose of communication — the revealing of one’s heart and mind. Take heed, wise owl. Remember that sometimes things are just what they seem!

Careers and Hobbies
Bank manager Judge
Diplomat Head of state

Reading Debating
Chess Philosophy

Famous Owls
Nelson Mandela, Oprah Winfrey, Abraham Lincoln. 

Posted by ltripp at 04:21 AM
APRIL FOOLS!I have no great joke planned. I won’t have time before noon. Not much anyway. I just realized it’s today. Working without a set schedule really messes with your mind and how you keep track of time. Monday was my weekend, two days smushed into one. I drove to Uxbridge. That’s become my vacation capital lately. I got a coffee at Tim Horton’s, no more free coffee on Rrroll up the Rrrim. But, I keep trying every now and then.

Happy April Fools!

Posted by ltripp at 03:56 AM
NOT ENOUGH MINUTES IN AN HOURI updated at Adult BackWash. Now I’m really tired, not quite sleepy. I have to work in the morning and wash the work uniform before I go out. How will I do it all when it’s 3:20 AM now?

Posted by ltripp at 03:53 AM

Old Blog Posts – Our Adventures with the Fiance Visa

Our Adventures with the Fiance Visa

Petition sent.
Medical Appt.

Consulate Interview.

We’re married.

EAD

Advanced Parole

Fingerprinting

ThatGrrl

The following are from the CanAm Couples Club where Todd and I have found great advice and support for our adventure.

The End
5/20/02

It’s been awhile since I updated this page. There’s not going to be any happy ending to the story for those that like to read ‘Once upon a time’ type things. Todd decided he wants a divorce and since you can’t really have a marriage by yourself I agreed.

Anyway, as far as I know we have heard nothing from the INS about our final (greencard) interview. I’m not staying in the US, I want to go home. I need to start my life all over again, move all over again and figure out a lot of personal stuff. My family are angry about the whole situation. Sometimes I’m angry, most of the time I guess I’m just depressed, sort of empty and drained.

Good luck to the other Canadians going through this. I was going to just take my page down but it might be good for everyone to know it’s not a fairy tale at the end of the rainbow. You might just step into a pile of something you need to scrape off your shoe.
Fingerprinting in St Louis
9/25/01 6:50 pm

Todd and I went to St Louis for the fingerprinting this past Wednesday. It was a lot of travel for me because I just got back from visiting my family in Toronto on Monday afternoon. I’ve certainly had enough road trips for awhile. Well, maybe for a couple of weeks. 😉

Fingerprinting was no problem. It took us longer to actually find the right building than it did to be fingerprinted. It was all done on a computer screen. No messy ink on my fingers. We stayed a few days in St Louis. Todd had the week off. It was great to be swimming each day and have little trips around town. We saw the Science Centre but were too tired of all the walking to make it to the Historical Museum as well. Next trip for that.

It sounds like we should be able to get our file transfered to the St Louis office instead of Chicago. A difference of 4 hours driving each way.

Anyway, thats all the INS news. I’m studying Lotus Notes now. It pays much better than freelance writing or any clerical work. Tomorrow I’m going to the local mall to apply at stores.

Got the Parole
8/22/01 2:29 am
I’m in my parents home typing this, obviously I got the parole. It was a journey of many steps though.

First of all, I had a money order for $100 and they would not accept it. The fee was $95 (not according to the website) and luckily they would take a personal cheque. On the website it also says they will not take cash or cheques. The website is an ornamental decoration, pretty much ignore it.

Next, I needed more papers than I had been prepared for. If you have something which shows your reason for going back to Canada bring it along. It wasn’t a problem not having anything but its something they ask for on the form you fill out when you had over the money. I wrote a note (luckily I had a notebook to rip a page out of) about going for my sister’s wedding.

Next thing, bring quarters for the photocopier or bring photocopies of your green receipt page and your passport with the I94 page. For some reason we had a discrepancy with the dates between the expiration of the k1 visa and the date we got the EAD card. She said it wasn’t a problem but she did check all my dates.

Once you get through all of the line ups and handing over of paperwork you wait for the agent/ clerk (what are they called anyway?) to take your file and review your case. She came back and asked me about something small and I don’t remember what it was now. Nothing dramatic. The oddest and the luckiest thing that happened that day at the INS was that by pure chance and Irish luck I had our wedding certificate with me. I had just impulsively tucked it into my purse to show my Mom when I saw her here. That was what the INS agent wanted to see and take a photocopy of before granting me the parole.

I really had no trouble getting the parole, just frustrations with things not being what we had expected. I was there over 4 hours. My brother waiting down below in the car to finish driving me home to Toronto.

The parole I got is good for a year with multiple re-entries. What I actually have is enough for three as far as I can tell. Maybe multiple means just three or if I want them I can ask for more. Three is likely enough anyway. I plan to be back in the US early in September. I’d like to come back to visit my family in the Spring when the trilliums are blooming. They don’t have any trilliums down here in southern Illinois, Todd has never even heard of them. 🙂

Got the EAD in Chicago
6/15/01 11:40 am

Todd and I had a five hour train trip to Chicago to get the EAD. With taxis, hotel and etc we spent at least $300. We left Sunday evening to get there for the 8:30 AM appointment on Monday. This is the first time I’ve had an appointment and wasn’t at all worried about anything. We got to the right building, on Jackson Street, took a cab there. Cabs were in short supply, the one we phoned was going to be half an hour. While outside waiting another one dropped someone off and I snagged it. Even then we were just in time to get there for the doors opening. There was a huge line, two blocks down one street and around the corner. We found out our appointment letter was a get out of line sooner card. The security people came along and asked who has an appointment. Then they told us to go ahead and get in. Went through the security check. In Montreal the checked through my purse and had us empty pockets. There they just xrayed all our bags (purse and overnight bag) and had us walk through the metal detector. No problem. Todd was cautious because he thought the security would be a bit tighter on the day Timothy McVeigh was executed.

Anyway, we took an escalator up to the second floor, ignored the line there and went through the glass doors to an opened room where we handed over our appointment letter and were told to sit and wait. Familiar territory, eh?

I was in the second group called up. The first batch had an 8:00 appointment which didn’t mean much since the building wasn’t open until 8:30. Its just a way of sorting people out once they get inside. I was called up and they said they needed the green letter with the yellow receipt and a drivers license or other photo ID. I didn’t have a drivers license but Todd and I had recently gotten the photo ID for the state. It looks almost the same as the drivers license card. That was fine. I checked my name and address on their paper thing and I signed my name. I still have to think to sign my married name, still have to remember its me when someone calls me by it too.

Next, a fingerprint, smudged and yet another ear picture. I actually asked the woman taking the picture what the deal is with all these ear pictures. She said she didn’t know. But she was rushed as they were pushing everyone through the process pretty quick. I went back to sit with Todd in the waiting area.

They called me up to pick up the card in about 2 minutes. I went up as they were calling up the next batch of people for ID checking. In the instructions of what to bring they had asked for the marriage license and some other things but none were asked for, only the photo ID and green and yellow receipt.

After that we were out of there. Todd wanted to go back to the hotel until our train at 4:00. But I really wanted to get to the bookstore where I hoped Jane was still working. I wasn’t sure she was still there but we went anyway. Walked part way and then got lost and took a cab. Jane was lovely, even bought me a good coffee. Todd laughs about good coffee, he doesn’t understand. 🙂 It was wonderful meeting Jane and chatting about her trip and her INS experiences. Thanks for the coffee Jane. 🙂

Hope this helps someone else. I can’t think of any other details to add. We got back late on Monday night. Todd loved the train trip. I was just glad to see the end of it. lol

Chicago INS Office

5/21/01 8:01 pm
Laura got her EAD approval notice today, and we have been given an appointment date for picking it up.

Longtime CanAm members, might remember that it was exactly a year ago this weekend that I mailed our I-129f petition to the Nebraska Service Center.

Todd

Re: Needing Patience
4/21/01 10:12 pm
We went through the Nebraska Service Center. I mailed the petition the last weekend of May 2000 and the visa was granted via Montreal in early December.

We’re now into the Adjustment of Status phase. We received our receipt the other day and it mentions a 26 month(!) waiting period before the AOS interview.

Todd

Hello CanAm Club
4/17/01 6:43 pm
I haven’t been in here for awhile, not that I haven’t thought about this Club now and then. Today Todd and I got a green letter saying our paperwork is accepted for the Adjustment of Status. Just cost $345.00 for them to read our file and send a nice green letter back. Todd is happy but I’m not sure what I feel. I’ll have to find money to take the trip to Chicago to pick up the EAD which could have been mailed, in my opinion. A mere 26 months before we have the interview there together. If I want to spend another hundred dollars on advanced parole I might be able to go to my sister’s wedding.

Does anyone know how many times you can get parole and how long you can stay each time you get it? Could you stay half a year or would you have to get 6 paroles and stay a month each?

EAD OS?
12/28/00 1:31 pm

I can’t keep the shortened forms clear in my head, just too much crammed in there I guess. 🙂

Todd and I just got the next round of paperwork from Vermont (VT?). Mostly, its a questionnaire about all my past work as a spy. 😉 Todd is working on filling it all out. Then, he is planning for me to go to Chicago or wherever and deliver it all. Is there an interview then? I really thought I was finished with the solo part of this. But Todd cant really take more time off from work. I feel kind of lost in paperwork. I don’t know what part we are working on now.

Hope you will all be having a nice New Years. If you aren’t married or with your fiance make sure you spend the time with your family well. Later you will have all the time you want with him/ her and only phone calls with your family.

Seasons Greetings!
12/25/00 10:56 am

From Todd and Laura Tripp in southern Illinois. 🙂

We were married on December 14th. Had a nice long weekend honeymoon in Paducah, Kentucky.

Crossed the Border
12/12/00 11:50 am

Here I am, sitting in front of my poor email clogged computer in Illinois. Todd is off to work. My brother and I are supposed to meet him for lunch so we can pick up the marriage license. No sign of Graham so far. But after two solid days of driving he is likely sleeping late. I would have gone back to bed too but I have too much to do. Of course, that isn’t stopping me from putting most of it off. 🙂

The border crossing was not a problem. No one looked at my list of stuff and we had the back of the truck well packed with stuff. I crossed at the Detroit tunnel and was stamped without having to ask for it. I think the only thing I was asked was just a confirmation of Todd’s name and our address here.

In the interview at the consulate they didn’t care that Todd didn’t have 3+ years of taxes done. I brought it up when they were collecting the papers and I said we did have the letter from his employer and his bank. The man collecting the papers read the letters and commented that they really like him at work. They do. 🙂 Maybe my bringing it up first was good or maybe having the two letters was more important.

Nothing else about the crossing over stands out in my mind. The customs person in the booth said Graham, my brother, should not go in with me. But the ladies in the parking area sent him in with me. Then inside we just happened to hit on the change of guards and we had the same man we met in the booth when we pulled up. We crossed just before 4 in the afternoon on Sunday.

The wedding is planned for the 14th. Less than a week before my birthday which is one week before Christmas. Its going to be a full month.

THE Interview
12/7/00 11:08 pm

It went ok. Everyone seems to say they are there until 3 or 4 in the afternoon. I was out before noon, with the visa. Maybe they have changed the process. I had the interview and he said it would be an hour while they added the visa to my passport, it wasn’t. We were out of there in record time. 🙂

I went with my Mom. We stayed at the TravelLodge. It was small in a cute way but there were cobwebs on the ceiling, the shower curtain was useless and the first room was mildewy. We changed to a second room without the mildew, still cobwebs. But the room was cute. Two little twin beds, one counter and the TV hovering over us on the opposite wall. A very small room but cosy. I liked it.

There was a free breakfast, it didn’t start until 7:00am. We went for it. Didn’t get to the consulate until near or a bit after 8:30. Here is a hint for those still going to Montreal. Its actually a side door on St. Alexander Street. You can get free parking behind the building if you ignore the french signs telling you its reserved for something or other. We didn’t have a clue what they said. But we didn’t get towed or have a ticket. 🙂

The security ladies checked our purses. I had already emptied mine of everything but the essentials. This made things easier. We removed our coats and those were checked too. Don’t keep anything embarrassing in your purse/ wallet. After they are scanned they go through them physically too.

After that she gave me a number (18) and we went up a flight of stairs and came to a room where people were in line. The elevator to the ninteenth floor was past the lineup. I wondered if this was where we paid the US$. But we passed it by and took the elevator. It was the right choice. Everything is up on the 19th floor, including the cashier. When the elevator gets to 19 (there is only 19 and 22, no other choices but down) you turn around and get out. Sit in the area for immigrant visas and wait for your number to be called. You will hear your number where ever you sit but you might meet someone to chat with if you are in the right section.

The place is beige on beige. For some reason I was expecting new looking blue padded chairs. I don’t know where I latched onto this idea but its stuck with me all along. 🙂

Anyway, you will see windows 7 to 13 I think. I know it starts at 7. That is where you will be called to hand in your paperwork. First you are called there. You hand in your number and the letter from the consulate giving you the appointment date and time. Once he has that you are sent to the cashier. You get a receipt and go right back to the window. He looks over everything and tells you what is missing. I had only one copy filled out of the little form so I filled out a second one at the window while he sorted through the other papers and asked me how I met Todd. He asked a couple of other questions like what Todd does, how much money I make as a freelance writer. I had forgotten to sign my passport so I did that. Then I wrote my passport number and the dates on the small forms. I hadn’t done that before. Anyway, that was pretty much just making sure I had all the papers. Although he made me nervous I covered it by getting chatty. Told him about the Yahoo Club here. He was interested. So we started talking about how much I know ahead and what I might be wrong about.

The main thing I was wrong about was the time it took. I said I would have the interview and be told to come back after 2:00 to pick up the visa. He said I would be out of there by 11:00 and I nearly was. 🙂

After giving him all the paperwork. The only other thing I hadn’t done was to get a copy of my long for birth certificate. He mentioned that a lot of people don’t bring the long form birth certificate and it was good that I had. He was quite nice once we got chatting a bit. Not quite so intimidating.

Then it was a wait for them to call my name. Not a very long wait. I watched other people ahead of me being called. But the order doesn’t stick to when you were up there with your number. Some people who had a number ahead of me never got called for the interview by the time I left.

Not a very long wait and then my name was called for Room B. I went in and there was a tall guy in a white uniform shirt. He looked like Canada Customs but aren’t they supposed to be American? I guess they just have the same look. 🙂 He was very nice, as everyone seems to say. I yacked so much he hardly asked me anything after "How did you and Todd meet?" I told him about meeting Todd when we were penpals at 14 years of age. Then I went into our face to face encounters and the personal triumphs we have made together. He said I have had a good influence on Todd’s life and he was granting the visa. I said thank you and asked a couple of questions. I wanted to know about crossing the border, if there would be trouble after the bad time I had before. He said it should be no problem as I was now crossing with the visa. A whole different situation. Before I needed to show I was coming back, now I need to show I don’t plan on coming back.

I also asked about other places to get the green card. I had found a local SSN office and asked if we could do the green card there. He said no. They are different departments. But he said we didn’t need to go to Chicago. The green card department is federal and not by state. So you don’t have to go to an office in the same state you will be living in. This was great news as St Louis is 2 hours away and Chicago is five or more hours away. We might not even need to make an overnight trip. But, Todd read a site which says we do have to go to Chicago so we are not ahead in this question. 🙂 The immigration interviewer did tell me the best place to find out was when I crossed the border and talked to the Immigration people there. They could tell me where I need to get the card. So, thats the plan now.

There isn’t much left to tell now. After the interview he said it would be an hour for them to put the visa in my passport. I was called up in about 20 minutes. My passport was returned folded to the visa page with THE sealed envelope inside. There is a big note about not opening this. The lady at the counter also made sure I knew and that I checked the visa before I left. Being me I gave it a cursory look before smiling to my Mom and getting the heck out of there! lol

We went for a lunch at a Chinese buffet in a small town outside of Montreal. Actually, Montreal was nice this time. Usually we leave there fuming at Montrealers and french speaking people in general. This is the first time in a very long time that we came away thinking well of Montreal and french speaking people in general.

Now the plan is to leave early on Saturday morning and cross the border at the Windsor tunnel. I’m nervous about that after my last experience there. This time I am hiding my diary somewhere. Likely I will keep it in my purse and just hang onto it if they want to check my purse. Its taken me to just this week to feel like writing in it again. 🙁

Anyway, things with the visa were ok. My picture in the visa is another thing altogether. lol

Good night and Todd said to tell you all he is a good guy, a hard worker and a loyal companion. Of course, he is all those things and more. Why else would I leave everything and everyone I care about pack up some furniture, books and etc and live down there in the last country I ever thought I would be living in. 😉

Re: Leaving for THE interview on Tuesday
12/7/00 10:15 pm

Well, folks. She made it through the interview. She has the visa in hand, and we are currently researching points of entry.

Leaving for THE interview on Tuesday.
12/4/00 2:22 am

What have I forgotten, I can’t breathe, my head is killing me I’m sure its going to explode.

Actually I’m feeling much better now. I had a killer headache all day today as I scurried around getting things. My Mother had the idea that I could send in the checklist before actually having all the bits and pieces together. Its ok, I have everything but the $45 US now. But I have barely started packing and we plan to leave for the border the day after I get back from Montreal.

I know its unlikely there will be a problem. But Todd didn’t have the 3 years worth of income tax reports. There is a reason for that, namely he has only been filing on his own for a year or two now. I do have the affidavit of support, the notarized letter from his bank and employer and the letter from him which had to be faxed here today because it did not arrive in time in the godless snail mail.

I’m not feeling so much panic as I thought I would. Mostly its just needing to get this over with and get on with things that actually matter to my life as a whole. Why does it have to be such a plaguy nuisance to marry someone on the other side of the border. I’m sure its just to make money for them. I’ve read the US to Canada pages and they have a much shorter story about the whole thing.

"Last week Harry proposed. He sent in some paperwork and they faxed back a gold invitation. Today I just gave birth to my third child yet my sister is still waiting for her fiance visa so she can go down and marry her US fiance. I told it would be easier to just stuff him in a suitcase and get on with it."

Night Before Rant Part 2
12/4/00 2:23 am
sigh If I can just live through this week I will be officially married next week. One week from now I will be on the other side of the border trying to force, coerce and whatever else it takes to get Todd to go to the doctors for a check up. Really, its only fair. He doesnt want to go and is trying to put it off till after the honeymoon. Meanwhile I have been governmentally inspected, physically and personally. Its his turn, dammit! 🙂

(A great deal of personal rant editted out.)

I’d love to hear about where there were any problems crossing the border. I can not stand the thought of another of those people reading my personal and private diary again. The fact that he used trickery to steal it and photocopy it and use it against me still just makes me want to reach out and slap him. Somehow I don’t think I will be all calm and collected at the border crossing. 🙂

I will post how things went for both next week when I only have wedding madness to contend with. Todd and I plan to be married on the 14th of December. My brother is driving me down the evening of the day I get back from Montreal. Currently they have decided not to bring down my stuff which is just making me insane. Well, more insane.

I’ve thought about making a K-1 page but I can tell it will have to wait till I am sane again. Or at least when they decide its safe to let me out of the insanitorium. Besides I would be far too cynical and down and dirty bitchy about the whole thing. I think it will take me a few months to adapt and realize I’m allowed (expected) to live a normal life again.

I do have one small piece of advice for anyone just starting out. Don’t give up your day job!!! As much as you possibly can keep your life normal and plodding along as if you werent getting married and cutting through paperwork with a blunt paperclip. If I had found something part time and not left nearly everything I own down there with Todd I would be much saner now. Having everything on hold for eight months is what is really making this so unbelivably frustrating for me.

Well, nearly over now. Its just after 2:00am on December, 4th. I have the interview on December 6th at 8:30 am. At the very least I will be glad not to have the nightmare where I lose all my hair and teeth (gruesomely) from stress. I look much nicer without the bloody stumps and tufts of hair. 🙁

End of rant. I need to get a shower and cook myself until I start to feel sleepy.

Night all.

Yet Another Moment of Panic
11/24/00 3:31 am

I can’t remember just what was on the checklist I mailed back to the consulate and I wasn’t smart enough to keep a copy. I just suddenly realized I only have about 2 weeks to get everything loaded, stamped, sealed and etc. I knew it was 2 weeks I just didn’t clue into how soon 2 weeks is coming up. 🙂

Also, we may be crossing at Windsor early in the morning. 7:am to 8:am. Is this a good time? I had a bad experience crossing there using the bridge. Now I just can not bring myself to cross that way again or even around that time. I was hoping not to get the dayshift as the guy I met before was a complete (bad word deleted).

Todd and I had a fight tonight too. 🙁 I wonder if anyone gets through all this without having some very rough spots. Definately feeling jittery tonight. Just keep thinking that the worst of it will be over soon. I hope. 🙂

December 6th, 2000!
11/21/00 2:31 pm

I’m singing that date over and over. I just this very moment opened the letter from the consulate. The interview is upon us!!

Wait for Interview
11/19/00 10:18 pm

I sent in the checklist a week ago. How long does it usually take to hear back from Montreal? I was really hoping to have the interview and border crossing done this month. Not that I’m sure I want a December wedding or to miss all the holidays here with everyone I know. 🙁

Won’t it be so nice when all this is over and we can live like real human beings again. 🙂

I also feel trapped by this. I’ve felt that way since March though. It does seem that if I can just get to the honeymoon that things will be ok.

Between Checklist and Interview
11/2/00 10:45 pm

How long does it seem to take before you get the notice about the interview and do they schedule them right away or is this going to be another 4 or so months of waiting?

I just got back Todd’s financial stuff so I am all ready to send in the checklist. Just need to get the RCMP report and that other picture. Both of those can be done in one day.

Do they take fingerprints at the RCMP? It does bother me that we are treated like criminals. Well, a lot bothers me. Like having to let them read a lot of my personal mail to Todd. I didn’t write anything for a middleman, eavesdropper and etc.

Laura

Re: Medical Experience
11/2/00 11:59 pm
My medical was in Toronto and cost $195. This included extra for the Mumps shot. (I also got sick right after that, not sure it was mumps though).

For Toronto there was a new doctor’s office listed. New from the information I have found on websites at least. I went to the new place and really lucked out. A family had cancelled so I didn’t have to wait for thing. A man came along later but by then I was nearly done.

This new place is right beside the king subway station in Toronto. If you go there (and I highly recommend it, it was clean and the staff were friendly) leave your car somewhere and take the subway. Parking was hard to find and not cheap. We looked awhile.

First NOA Received
6/12/00 7:30 pm

When I got home from work this evening, I found a letter from the DOJ waiting in the box.

It was our first NOA, dated June 7th.

That’s 12 days after mailing to the Nebraska center for timeline watchers.

Todd

Return Receipt Returned!
6/5/00 9:16 pm

9 days after posting our petition, I received the return receipt from the post office. The Nebraska Service Center now has our petition. Hopefully, NOA will follow soon.

Todd

We’re off and running!
5/27/00 7:42 pm
Mailed our I-129f package this morning at 10.30.

fingers crossed

Todd

SheDragon in Toronto
5/9/00 11:25 pm
Hello from up here in the land of summer. Its so hot all the spring bulbs are blooming and dying off in the same week. An early start to spring for us here north of the city.

I’m Laura, the better half of Calpurnius (Todd). Today Todd receieved the visa pictures and a card for his Mother on Mother’s Day, from me. So we are started officially in the process.

Did anyone mention smarties on the list of things you miss in Canada? I also miss Chapters bookstores. There is a Barnes and Noble near Todd’s town, but its depressing looking when you are used to Chapters.

Take care,

Laura

ADIT pics
4/8/00 4:26 pm
Val,

I WISH there were a way to get together for a beer or something. This process can seem so overwhelming at times. I can literally feel my scalp tighten when I look at my collection of forms, printouts, pieces of evidence, etc.

I got my ADIT pics at AAA, the auto club. They cost only $5 for a set of 2 because I am a member. I am not sure how much it would be for non-members.

I am recommending that my fiancee try the CAA.

I am assuming any other photo studio would be able to do it with the guideline sheet provided by the INS. (There is a web link which escapes me at the moment, but will find it if anyone needs it.)

I would recommend someone familiar with passport photos, however, or someone using a Polaroid-type instant passport photo camera, like the AAA used. The lady there said she would take one, see how it came out, and do another if necessary. We were lucky enough that it came out the first time.

I believe, and I would have to look at it again, that the initial I-129 requires only one ADIT of your and your fiance.

I hear from the newsgroup that the consulate, and I believe this was only Montreal, requires an additional passport-type (full face) photo at the interview.

Old Blog 2001 – thewriter.blogspot.com

THE WRITER
Writing and publishing online and still putting in time on my regularly scheduled life.
The current mood of Laura at www.imood.com

I was born in the Year of the Dragon, more than a few years ago. 2000 was another year of the Dragon, in December I married Todd, moved to the US and became an expatriate. Spirit of the Night

I work as a freelance writer online and in print. My favourite colour is deep, dark red. When I’m having a bad day going outdoors always makes me feel better. I’m reading the same book I started 6 months ago: Sarum by Edward Rutherfurd. I’m not especially musically inclined, I can turn on the radio and be happy leaving it in the background. Spirit of the Night

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Tuesday, April 17, 2001
Is it ok to take expired vitamins? I never remember to take them everyday. I always end up with half a bottle to go a month past the expiry date. 🙂 Found out more about vitamins but no answer to my questions. I still don’t know if the old pills are worth taking. Not that they seem to be helping much, I’ve got a runny nose and two cold sores today. 🙁
Monday, April 16, 2001
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” – Anais Nin
Here I am alone again. My parents were here visiting but they left this morning. I gave Mom my old computer, Fritzie. She is glad to have a good computer to get online with and learns as she goes. 🙂 Sad to be here without them, alone with Todd and his family.
The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms
When I awoke, dear, I was mistaken
So I hung my head and cried
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you
Please don’t take my sunshine away
I’ll always love you and make you happy
If you will only say the same
But if you leave me to love another
You’ll regret it all someday
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you
Please don’t take my sunshine away
Davis, Mitchell

As kids we lived in a small town, Kincardine, near Lake Superior. My Dad worked in Toronto and I hardly remember him being there at all. Mom and my brother and baby sister would drive back and forth from our coutry house (run down wreck) to the town. The road went right alongside the lake. I can remember Mom singing You are My Sunshine as we drove along. 🙂

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy
Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry
Sunshine on the water looks so lovely
Sunshine almost always makes me high
If I had a day that I could give you
I’d give to you a day just like today
If I had a song that I could sing for you
I’d sing a song to make you feel this way

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy
Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry
Sunshine on the water looks so lovely
Sunshine almost always makes me high

If I had a tale that I could tell you
I’d tell a tale sure to make you smile
If I had a wish that I could wish for you
I’d make a wish for sunshine all the while

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy
Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry
Sunshine on the water looks so lovely
Sunshine almost always makes me high
Sunshine almost all the time makes me high
Sunshine almost always

Words by John Denver, Music by John Denver, Dick Kniss and Mike Taylor
Found these lyrics at Sing365.com

“The man of understanding finds everything laughable.” – Goethe
Makes you wonder if they’re laughing with you or at you, eh?

Sunday, April 15, 2001
The Names and Naming Webring. There really is a webring for everything. 🙂
Laura’s Webring for Lauras Page. We even have our own webring.

What does your name mean? I have this on a mug I bought awhile ago. I haven’t looked at the mug in ages, I’ve just got it out when I needed more mugs today for my parents visit.
Laura “The Winner” – In 1327 Petrarch’s sonnets to Laura inspired some of the finest love poetry ever written and immortalized the name Laura forever. In the fifties a popular song was titled “Laura” and sang the praises of a mysterious and beautiful lady. “Lara’s Theme” from Dr. Zhivago is a popular song today.

Thursday, April 12, 2001
The big news today is actually two things. First: ThemeStream is closing down. All the writers need to pull out their content before it goes bye bye. I think its a good thing for all the ezines out there. Now all those writers can give their articles to ezines who will appreciate it more and give better promotion to the writers. Its just a good thing all around.
The other news is about Yahoo. They are now aspiring to be the porn captial. Really makes they look like idiots (a nice word for it) after all the years they have deleted sites for having adult content. Even sites which were Wiccan/ Pagan or sites which wanted to give information about sexual fetishes to keep people from being hurt. The real question now is: will Yahoo change their policies for sites on Geocities. Or will Yahoo be afraid of the competition? *snicker*

The big news today is actually two things. First: ThemeStream is closing down. All the writers need to pull out their content before it goes bye bye. I think its a good thing for all the ezines out there. Now all those writers can give their articles to ezines who will appreciate it more and give better promotion to the writers. Its just a good thing all around.
The other news is about Yahoo. They are now aspiring to be the porn capital. Really makes they look like idiots (a nice word for it) after all the years they have deleted sites for having adult content. Even sites which were Wiccan/ Pagan or sites which wanted to give information about sexual fetishes to keep people from being hurt. The real question now is: will Yahoo change their policies for sites on Geocities. Or will Yahoo be afraid of the competition? *snicker*

I just posted to never never land, I guess, its gone at any rate. This time I’m going to paste it into Notepad before I hit that Post button.
I was at About.com today, the Screenwriters topic is open but it doesn’t interest me. I sent it into InkSplatters for someone else to step into, hopefully. I like to hear I helped someone on the list.

I did find an interesting topic available at Suite 101. Its not a big payout site, but the topic is interesting and doesn’t sound like a huge time commitment. Its Websites for Women with a monthly article and a database of links. The past manager left in December so its been available awhile. Likely I will be accepted. I think the topic has a lot of potential. I frequently find sites run by women who are doing interesting things online. Some with home businesses and some in creative pursuits, others starting up an offbeat club or a club based on a personal interest.

I was just looking around at WebSeed Publishing. Its kind of an odd site when you look at the scatterings of topics. Some topics like writing are so covered they overlap to the point where you really can’t tell one from another. I’ve applied for one topic but didn’t get in. They said they weren’t opening that area at the time. Yet, now I can see there are a few near misses. I’ve sent in another email and will see what happens. Today, I thought about going for an ASCII Art topic. But the focus may be too narrow. Besides, there just aren’t any books and gadgets to sell related to ascii art.
Blogger was down this morning. Lets see if its up and at em now. 🙂

Wednesday, April 11, 2001
Just lost the entry I made. I had the editor open too long and I guess my login to Blogger died. 🙁 Basically I said HerPlanet is tossing DialTone as the new server. They must be pretty incompetent after two weeks of paid overtime and still not getting the HerPlanet sites loaded and working. Now we are transfering to a new server which is through one of the HerPlanet network managers. I’m even going to try loading up my own site. I’m not an ftp novice but I’m hardly an expert. I learn from my mistakes but that means you have to make plenty of mistakes to learn from.
Tuesday, April 10, 2001
This is kind of neat. Make your own license plate.


The ultimate Raggedy Ann site. I’ve bought the pattern and some fabric but I’ve yet to actually start making the dolls. I have mine up here by the desk. My Mom made her with grey hair. Even she wonders why she did that now. It was what she had around then, but grey?!! It does make her pretty unique among Raggedy Ann’s. All the popular dolls have red hair of some shade.
I think Raggedy Ann is the US attempt at our Canadian Anne of Green Gables. Of course there is Pippi Longstocking too. I’m not sure if she isn’t English though. Odd how all three of my favourite fictional characters are all red heads. I’m not, my hair is a lovely shade of brown, chestnut. My little sister is a redhead but she just isn’t someone you could picture as the Anne/ Ann type. Though we did call her Orphan Annie when she was a kid. Her hair was out of control back then, just too darn curly. Cute though. 🙂

Usually I leave ICQ undisturbed in my hard drive. Its great when I’m away and want to talk to Todd, a definate long distance savings. But its kind of useless now that I’m back here and on my own computer again. If my family get using it that would be great. But, so far, its just gathering dust. The women from the HerPlanet site use it to chat but when I look few of them are set on for chatting. If someone is there I’m not really in a chatty mood at the time. The only people making real use of my ICQ are the trolls signing themselves up as “friends”. I have it set to let anyone sign up. Its much easier than having to bother rejecting them all. I don’t care if they need another notch on their belt to feel better. I’ve never talked to any of them so it works both ways. Maybe there is some way to delete them from the ICQ site, I might do that, just to be contrary. 😉
I found a nice site called Smiley Divas, part of a Calgon promotion. I especially like smiley graphics so I grabbed a bunch from the site for my desktop. There is a screensaver you can download too. Nice job Calgon. 🙂
For some reason I’m still signed up with Etour. Its one of those get paid for surfing things but you actually get gift certificates instead of cash from them. I think it should have worked out better than it has. The problem is likely the competition from the cash paying sites which would look more attractive. But, I thought Etour’s way of doing things had a better chance of actually paying its users. It has too. I’ve had a couple of gift certificates from Barnes and Noble. Lately they have been getting less sponsers. Its a first come first serve basis now when you are ready to redeem your points.
Monday, April 09, 2001
I’ve got the Ask the Witch site in a state of chaos. I found Geocities would not work with my FrontPage 2000. It works well with the site I’ve had up for a few months but not the new one. I don’t know why. Todd was reading about it and says its to do with changes they are making at the Geocities site. Anyway, I went to poke around at old Tripod and found it very interesting. They now have a weblog and ezine template which include cgi and archives. So now Ask the Witch is between Geocities and Tripod. I’m not sure where it will end up or how. I am thinking of going with the ezine template and maybe keeping Geocities as just the front page so I can contine to use the email account I set up there. Tripod/ Lycos is being a bit tricky about starting another email account. I may yet figure it out though.
There is a feeling of terror in the newsgroups, people are in a panic and try to escape this new terror before it can load on a website. What is this dreaded thing? A Comet cursor. Doesn’t sound so terrifying you think. Me too. But you should see them in the newsgroup where I mentioned using them. LOL I think people are getting into too much paranoia over the tiniest chance or thought of spam. They say Comet Cursors will track your web surfing and report it back to ??? I don’t think they know either. I would guess the most logical would be commercial sites/ stores. I wrote to Comet Cursors to find out about this and heard back within a week. I was told the whole thing is just a rumour, based on very little fact. I believe them. Am I just very trusting? No, I just don’t see why anyone would think my surfing habits are all that interesting. Read my blog, do I seem like someone leading a life of excitement and ultimate naughtiness? So, I’ve added a cursor to this blog, I have had one on my website for a couple of years and I will be putting one on HerCorner when it goes up too. Does that scare you? Too bad. Oh no, I’m not laughing at you, honest.
The weekend is over. Here I am. Email isn’t working today, its most likely the server cause it was last week when the same thing happened. This time they don’t have the excuse of a stormy day. Its like summer here today. I have windows open and the fan blowing the cobwebs around. Soon Todd will be here, honking the horn for me to bring the weekend videos down to him. I think we will take a ride around the park and pick up another loaf of bread.
Right now I’m over at Stor Entertainment making a StorTrooper of myself. I couldn’t find just the right top but its pretty good.

I talked to my Mom this morning soon after Todd left. They are leaving tomorrow morning from Florida. She is figuring on a two day drive to get here. So I’ve got that long to kill the dust bunnies and less cute dust, dirt and so on which I’ve been neglecting.

Links to check later