– 77 Words regarding:
You wake up and your apartment smells like ass. You walk into the living room to find that your one night stand took a dump in the middle of your kitchen. Indignant, you box it up, take it to work and toss it on their desk in full view of other workers, saying ‘you forgot this.’ You tell everyone what happened and the person is ostracized at work. Three days later, you get called into the office and the HR person writes you up and demands that you write a letter of apology and attend sensitivity classes for your wanton act of shitscrimination. Write your apology.
My thanks to you. I don’t think I ever would have moved to my wonderful new apartment and this great new job if it weren’t for you.
My gift to you is on this letter. I grew it in traces of your human waste, left at my place. But, you are their preferred host. You may already notice scabby wart-like things on your fingers, parasites. That’s them!
Good luck with your new, hungry, friends.