I am Not a Dude or a Guy

Dude… Hey guys…

I’ve been noticing the growing trend to use ‘dude’ and ‘guys’ as an informal, generic greeting. My Mother really dislikes this. When they come to take our order in a restaurant and say “What can I get you guys?” She cringes, politely. I understand it isn’t meant to be annoying. Yet, I’ve been thinking about it… It IS annoying. It’s also a throwback to the days when women were not counted as people.

How far have we come (as women) if we are excluded in this simple, casual way? Not a big deal, is it? What bee have you got in your bonnet. Don’t get your knickers in a knot or maybe we are just being way too sensitive and girlie about it. Or maybe, you should see what your husband thinks about it, little lady.

I don’t like it.

It is far too informal for general use. I don’t like being treated that casually by someone I am not on a first name basis with. I’d prefer a little respect, a little distance and a little space from people who don’t know me well enough to call me by name. I’m not unfriendly but I’m not desperate to have everyone like me either.

It is directed to men only. Look up the words dude and guy in the dictionary, they don’t refer to women. So we are excluded and in such a way that it is taken for granted that we aren’t being excluded. To protest makes us seem uptight bitches. I’m sure women have been called worse in our fight to gain rights for ourselves.

To me this feels disrespectful to all the women in our past who stood up and took the hard knocks in order to get women this far. How would they feel to read the ads for WordPress WordCamp directed to “Dude”? How would they feel to have the customer service person label them “guys”? How would it be to get an email from a group of women asking “how many of you guys are going to attend?” What progress was made if we are backsliding and not even noticing it happen?

I am a woman. I am a person. I am not a dude.

Leave a comment