How to Amuse Yourself While Coughing Up a Lung

Of course, men will come up with things like seeing how far your mucus will fly. I’ll just skip over that one with a dishonorable mention.

Think about things you could be doing if only you weren’t so busy coughing.

Try writing your name and see if you can read it once you stop coughing.

Cough on a bug. I like to spread germs to them, just let them think they will out survive us. If everyone made some effort the human race will outlast the bug race.

Phone your sister, the one that likes to talk too much. It will be one of the few times you’ll be able to hang up on her, or she will even suggest you do so.

Phone your boyfriend/ husband/ significant other and have a discussion about the kind of flowers and such you most like. Don’t say right out that he is expected to bring them to you. But, if he doesn’t… cough on his coffee.

Since you shouldn’t be going out and spreading your diseased self among the sales clerks and other innocent bystanders play games on the Internet. Look up really fun things you would buy if you had a bottomless bank balance. Or, find a site where you can design your own house. That’s fun too.

Play games such as city building games where you are the World Ruler and She Who Must Be Obeyed. If those peons begin to win just shut the game down and have the final victory over them all. That always cheers me up.

Call your Mother, unless she lives nearby and is likely to come over. It’s nice to have some sympathy in your sickness but you’re too old to be mothered, right?

Eat really salty and sour foods. Drink some vinegar (white is nice) if you have nothing else around. I like salty taco chips and lemonade. I can feel the germs being tortured in my throat. I like that.

Since you will be spending extra time in the bathroom due to drinking all that lemonade, gingerale and so on, bring in a good book and take your time. Just like the guys do. Only we don’t stink up the place.

Plan your next vacation. Why not?

Discover new and unusual art forms. Even if you can’t do much about them until after you get well soon.

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