Originally posted to Adult BackWash.

It all started when someone said women were more sadistic and men were more strict. It got me thinking about women and BDSM and what we want, really. I know, you're looking back in the archives here and wondering if I'm repeating myself. But no, this is a new thought and I haven't even had my shower yet. (I do my best thinking in the shower or while driving but right now we have no hot water).

Anyway, I think it's true that women tend to be more sadistic or proactive. Men want us to come to them while women want to bring it to the men, in their face. This makes it an uneven match up when it comes to Dommes and male subs. The men are looking for what they want, that strict, rule making, stand back, kind of control. The same control they'd give if they were in charge. So they expect to serve a strict task master.

However, when I think about it, I really don't want a man serving me. What I really want is to torment and abuse/ seduce him. I can wash my own dishes, open my own jars and make my own dinner. What I really want is to make him weep with sexual need. I want to watch him squirm, hear him gasp, smell him in full lust, touch his body and make him shudder, desperately waiting for my permission to orgasm. If I choose to let him.

I don't want a man serving me, I'd rather torment him till he weeps for release, mercy, whatever I allow him. When I think about a D/s situation with a man I tend to think of me being the one doing wicked things to him. I don't see him scampering around fetching things, serving, instead he is held in place till I'm done with him.

So, men keep writing about how they will serve the right Domme. Yet, they are aiming in the wrong direction. Instead they should also tell us how much they want to be seduced, tormented, teased and abused. Tell us how they want us to use them and how much they will love it, knowing this is what we really want from them.

Of course they can also see to our comfort and pleasure by performing tasks such as making our coffee in the morning, reading aloud from our favourite books in the evenings and washing our hair for us. That's an added bonus and a chance for them to display their eagerness, their willingness and their attractiveness to us.

Maybe it's all service. But it's certainly not the domestic service they write about in the profiles I read. Do any of them have an idea of the kind of service we want, really? Not with a smile but with a grimace, a moan and heavy breathing. I like the odd shudder, wriggle, squirm and twitch too. Men live in dread, some day one of you will be in for quite a wicked journey. Poor bastard.

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