My other blog is a red one. Well, pink if you want to get technical. I don't want to write the same babble all over again. I'm reading a book about creating your dreams in spite of your fears, doubts, self pity, etc.

Sometimes I wonder, if I make myself so damn perfect what will I lose? Imperfections aren't all bad. They keep us from being completely boring. Can you imagine someone who is perfect all the time? Where's the challenge in that? I'd be sick of them in an hour. Sorry all you perfect perfectionist, but the fact is, you lack flaws. It would work for you if you were a diamond, but you're not.

I'm happy being a flawed diamond but I'm going to tighten some loose screws. Seems I let a few things slide a bit too much. Always that background feeling that I was waiting for someone to come along and.... what? Perform a magic spell? Rescue me? Something like that. Silly, pathetic, childish, not the person I want to be.

First, trust yourself and then kick your ass in gear. It's working, I think. I'm going to have to learn a new balance though. My theory is that if you're not learning something you're just wasting time. Eventually we are all going to die but why stand around twiddling your thumbs waiting for it.

I'm really going to bed now. I miss having someone else in it, even if it was my stonily silent ex husband. It was nice having someone notice my existence, even if I did have to push him off my half the bed.

Comment

gazehound

You said it girl! If you can't learn, why bother? Stop learning and you might as well just drop dead since life is all a learning experience!

And I second the missing having someone in the bed thing - it's a very nice thing to have that warm flesh near by, a strange reassurance of sorts. I hate that I sleep so much better with someone else in the bed though - just doesn't seem fair in the overall scheme of things, ya know?