One of the most frustrating things in the entire world is to have tons of great ideas, inspiration and creativity but not enough cash. Tomorrow is pay day but the cheque is going to be miniscule, pathetically small. Our hours have been cut back by more than half at the store. So, though there are so many things I want to do, I can only pick and choose the cheapest and balance my cash against keeping gas in the car.

The other sad thing is that I will be moving again. That means that here we are at the start of garden season and I can't really plant anything. Nothing that I expect to see again or even see in bloom in some cases. I look at the seed catalogues and have to hold back the whines, the sighs and... no, I don't cry. I'm a grown up woman after all.

But, it's hard to look forward to garden season knowing I can't fully take part. I remember having an apartment garden and feeling the same way. Although I dragged all the houseplants outside on the balcony and stuck up 4 window boxes, it really wasn't enough. There was so much more I wanted to do. Perennials for instance. My favourite flowers are all perennials. In the apartment the best perennials I could manage were houseplants that really didn't get much in the way of flowers.

However, one year my cactus bloomed! That was a huge surprise. I thought it was a parasite and almost picked the little flower bud off. I'm not sure what stopped me, but I'm glad something did. After a few years with more blooms each year I moved again and the cactus died. It just didn't like the new place I guess. Ever since I have watched to find the same kind of cactus again. But, though I see one now and then it's rare that they look all that healthy, worth the 10$ they usually stick on their tags. I don't want to buy some half dead/ diseased looking cactus. Not even worth asking for a discount on them cause I know how sensitive they are. Once they start to slid off the deep end they don't seem to bounce back.

Anyway, I think tomorrow, my one big expenditure will be a new cactus. If I find one. I miss having that cactus around. I originally bought it when I was 16 and I was in my 20's when it first bloomed. I can't believe I was that patient.