In the old days, say the Regency period of English history, there was a custom of being "not at home". They had fancy door knockers then. If people were not at home (even when they were physically present) they removed the door knocker. That way, anyone who thought to call or visit would see they were "not at home" to callers. It was perfectly acceptable, no lack of manners or politeness.

Why is everyone so eager to be at home for all callers these days? Are we that desperate for company, do we really always have to be available? Can't we have a day and just be not at home?

Personally, I don't own a cell phone and I'm not likely to get one. I don't have my email set to notify me when new email is on the server. I don't always answer the phone. This morning someone is at the door, ringing the bell and guess what... I'm not running down to answer it. I'm not at home.

Instead I'm sitting here in my nightgown, my legs are not shaved, my teeth are not brushed but my hair is freshly brushed. I am making time for myself. Later I will go out and then really, physically, not be at home. Right now I'm just taking the knocker off the door. Anyone who calls can leave their calling card. That's another aspect of the old fashioned not at home custom. People had calling cards made to show they had visited/ come calling.

Being not at home is such an elegant custom. Why on Earth did we drop it?