While I was married I began to enjoy the services of my husband as a backscratcher and back scrubber. It really is nice to find yourself with someone who you can ask to scratch an itch you can't reach yourself. Also, it was great to have someone who could reach your entire back when you wanted to really take the time to exfoliate in the shower.

These are small things but both became important to me once we divorced and I was on my own again.

I wonder how many divorced people (women or men) come across this too. I was really happy to have the whole bed to myself but I did miss having someone who could scratch my back, get that itchy spot or give my whole back a good scrub in the shower. Of everything that comes and goes between two people the back scratching was the one that I thought of first. I guess, in the early days of the divorce, it was only something small and simple which I could focus on.

It's funny that there is even an old saying about "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours". I wonder if that was really about trades, business and deal making or did it really come from people alone after the end of a personal relationship, a break up or divorce.

Anyway, when you get divorced, sometime after you start to feel something other than numb, you need to learn how to scratch your back. Some people may have children or pets they can train. Some may have family and friends they don't mind asking. But, I didn't want to ask anyone. I wanted to handle it myself rather than feel I needed anyone or would have people thinking I needed them or could not manage on my own. It was a time I was rebuilding myself and getting back onto my feet again. Asking or needing help was something I avoided.

Luckily, there are backscratchers you can buy without committing to anything or having to offer anything in return (other than the purchase price for the retail

A backscratcher and a shower brush were two of the things I bought for myself soon after the divorce. Mainly because I didn't get far trying to reach the area under my shoulder blades and rubbing my back over the corner of the door frame wasn't getting it. I also tried using a pen and even a pair of scissors (closed) but they were risky because I didn't want to draw in ink on myself or end up being scratched too much by the blades of the scissors.

I've seen a few styles of backscratchers but I prefer the wooden type rather than those made of metal. The wood has a softer edge and doesn't get cold. I don't want my back clawed at by a metal backscratcher after all.

In the case of the shower brush I like a stronger brush, not soft and smushy. I keep it hanging from the shower soap dish and always run the hot water over it just before I get out of the shower. Now and then I run it through the dishwasher to make sure it gets a good cleaning between showers.

I keep my backscratcher right at my computer desk. Ready to serve.