Happy and Single: The Modern Spinster
Seeing Yourself as a Modern Spinster
The best women in romance stories are those with careers, friends, a place of their own and other things I don't always have yet myself. I love to read about these women. They are already happy in their lives before Mr. Anything comes along. I want to be that woman. No doubt I read those books just to see myself in that life. Well, the writing and humour are good too.
It's kind of sad that when you look up "single women" or "single woman" online you get dating advice. In between being told how important it is to find a man there are a few financial tips. So, not only are we sad and lonely but we are poor too. Or, if not poor we don't know how to handle our money.
In fact, being single means taking on my of these things, the elements of dealing with day to day life. We learn how to do our own financial things, our own home repairs, our own cooking, cleaning and landscaping too if we need to. Anything we can't do ourselves we can get help or hire help, just like anyone else.
Living alone gives you freedom to do things your own way. I like knowing everything will be exactly where I left it. Of course, that can be a downside too. It's nice to have someone else tidy up the breakfast dishes some days when you just get sick of doing everything least thing yourself. Those are the days you look for shortcuts, like paper plates and eating over the sink instead of sitting at the table. Shortcuts are ok. But, you don't want to become used to living that way. As if you're just a nomad in your own home.
Things You Miss Out on if you Never Live Alone at Least Once in Your Life
- Taking to yourself. It sounds silly but I like talking to myself. I like hearing the sound of my own voice when there is no one to give me odd looks, start arguing with me or interrupting me when I speak. Plus, I can give myself the greatest compliments and not care how honest or sincere they are.
- Finding out how neat or messy you really are. There's no one to impress but yourself. No one to tidy up or make the mess, but you. When you live alone you might start off with great habits for decluttering and cleaning but end up discovering your inner clutter bug far too easily.
- You never have to wait for the bathroom or the shower. You don't even have to share the bed or find yourself shivering because someone else rolled up into a cocoon with all the blankets. The best thing is taking your time in the shower, having a hot shower whenever you want and you can walk out of there still wet without having to struggle your damp body into any kind of clothing - not even underwear or a bathrobe.
- Decorate your place however you want to and change it around as often as you can manage to spend the money or make yourself move the furniture. Add throw pillows in neon green and pink if you like. Paint the kitchen space blood red or try your hand at some DIY renovations and stick up some fancy wallpaper.
- Finish the last of the milk in your cereal just because it's there. You don't need to ask if anyone else wants you to make them something for dinner and listen to what they do and do not want. If you have food dislikes or allergies it's really nice not having to explain them to someone else or pick those icky mushroom bits off your pizza. You can even try being your own chef, experiment with cooking and baking new ingredients. It's also really nice to try dieting and not have someone telling on you.
Patiently Quiet and Still
One of the best things about being a single woman is being alone. I absorb the quiet, the sense of being in my own place by myself. It is nice. I'm alone but far from lonely. I think it is one of the things you really only appreciate when you don't have it for awhile.
Like when I babysit for my sister a couple of days. When I get home again the first thing I feel is that quiet, the atmosphere of peace and patience. My place is just patiently waiting for me to decide what I want to do next. I can take an hour, just doing nothing at all if I want to.
Tips for Living Alone
- Your home, no matter how small or messy, is your refuge, your shelter and the place where you keep your stuff. Make your home welcoming at the end of the day. Keep things organized so you won't get lost in your own clutter. Live by the mantra 'a place for everything and everything in it's place'.
- Pick everything in your home from the big things like furniture to the small things like tea towels for yourself. Use the patterns you want, the style you like and whatever works for you in a practical way.
- Add extra touches to brighten up your home and your favourite places like a reading area, your bedroom, kitchen and bathroom.
- Take care of yourself. Exercise, eat well, get enough sleep and keep basics like aspirin in stock. Try vitamins and see which work for you.
- Keep active. Not just exercising but have interests and hobbies outside of work. Have a regular group of people you spend time with, especially if you don't have many friends. Keep acquaintances, if not friends.
- Don't become a home body. Get out there and do something each day, even if it's just picking up groceries, mailing a letter, or taking a walk around the block for no reason but to be outside.
- If you want a pet but can't have one where you live get a pretend pet. All you really need somedays is to just see something else with a face, other than your own. I have a stuffed dog, Coffee, from my niece. (I don't even like dogs).