You're on a leaking boat in the middle of the ocean. We won't go into the details of how you ended up there, it's just another annoying story about an insurance scam gone wrong. So there you are, slowly sinking. The waves are nice. Getting kind of big. Even knowing you're likely to drown you can sit back and enjoy the majesty and power of the waves as they carry you to your doom.

You notice a sparkle of metal at the bottom of the boat, under the water. It's a flute. Deciding you're not doing much else you begin to play. Takes a bit for the water to blow out before it makes any musical sound. But, it keeps your hands busy for awhile.

Whales begin to surround you. Just one at first. As you keep playing (lets be honest, it's more like flute noise than flute music, you never learned how to play the flute) more whales show up. Soon they are actually holding your boat on their backs, out of the water. You're not sinking and the water is even draining out now instead of in. You keep playing, thinking that as long as the whales hang around you can at least enjoy a little more time to feel the spray of the ocean on your face. Likely they'll get tired of listening to you and wander off eventually.

They don't. Those lovely whales actually drop your boat off on the shore. Up the beach you can see a hotel. The sign even seems to be in English. What last flute song do you play to thank the whales before you pick up your water logged purse and run up the beach?

Once upon a time I added some pet links to my column and some pet links to this newsletter. Other than that I'm not in favour of pets.

I do like animals, I've supported cats. Never say you have kept or owned cats. We all know that's just a myth. But, I've supported cats, fed them, built them shelters they usually ignored, that sort of stuff. My cats lived outside all year round. Most of them were feral so it suited us both just fine. If I had bags of money to get rid of I would start a program to catch and neuter/ spay feral cats. I think the Humane Society means well but they just miss the point. Being choosy about good homes is never going to help wind down the unwanted pet population. Better to go with the Chinese method and eat them than to store them in tiny cages and then kill them when space gets too tight. At least eat them, it's the natural process. Costs less too.

Anyway, now that I've offended, disgusted and sickened everyone, in one way or another, let's get on with the discussion of pets.

I don't think people should keep pets. The odd family dog is ok, if you have the space. Having the space is vital. Dogs needs space, they need places to drool, bark and do all those other annoying dog things. Bet you never would guess I'm not quite a dog person, eh?

But, keeping several dogs and topping that off with cats, fish, birds, reptiles and rodents is taking things way too far. You are not a zoo! I've never really seen this set up work well for the people or the animals. It's just not healthy for people and animals to share the same home. The pioneers did it cause they had to. The livestock helped keep the cabin warm and in turn the livestock had a better chance of surviving to feed the family come Spring. But, we moved on from there, right? I seriously think anyone with more than one pet should be looking for space to build a barn. If only for the smell situation!

Then, we come to those exotic pets. Let's just say NO! and leave it at that.

Animals should have their space to be wild, free and in constant danger of being eaten by each other. It's how things work in nature. People should leave it alone, it worked much better before we started keeping pets. Ugh! Pet keeping is one of my little pet peeves.