Posts tagged with “society”
Posted on . Filed in . Tagged with .

How to Be Really Good Friend

It's great to 'be there' for a friend. But, what does it mean and how do you do it?

Some days you need a really, great friend. Some days you get to be a really, great friend.

Taking friendship is much easier than giving your friendship. You shouldn't expect anything in return, if you do, it's really not friendship. This is why it's so important to give appreciation and gratitude when you accept friendship.

Being a friend is not easy thing at times. No one can be a perfect friend. We make mistakes, we have our own selfish moments and moments of weakness. Forgive yourself and your friends when we make mistakes, those times we aren't the greatest of best friends. Then look ahead to the next day when we can try again, fix things, talk and make things work out better.

How to be a Great Friend

  • Never lie to your friend. You can be kind while still being honest.
  • Respect her opinions. Especially when it comes to dating, value that second opinion.
  • Balance between listening and talking. Let friends talk about themselves, guilt free and without getting into a one one-upmanship contest.
  • Work with each other's strong and weak points. Usually one friend is the leader and the other the follower. One is a planner and the other shows up late. Etc.
  • Cultivate the friendship. Have your inside jokes, your shared past and the things you only do with just that friend.
  • Don't offer advice too freely. It's often better to wait until asked, or to offer it carefully, just a bit at a time.
  • Display some affection, reach out and touch a friend, literally.
  • Don't think short term. Plan to keep the friendship going for the long haul.
  • Don't be envious or jealous of a friend. Instead be happy for her and proud of her.
Posted on . Filed in . Tagged with .

10 Myths About Introverts

I'm quite social when I'm in a group, especially if there is any kind of common ground. But, once I'm on my own again I become a hermit. I always think it is funny that I am INFP on the Myers Briggs personality test. I didn't really see myself as an introvert because I do chat away pretty easily to just about anyone. But, this makes sense. Cause I am quiet too and yet social when there is a reason for it.

10 Myths About Introverts

(Posted by Linsey on Facebook).

Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk. This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.

Myth #2 – Introverts are shy. Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude. Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.

Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people. On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.

Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public. Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.

Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone. Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with one person at a time.

Myth #7 – Introverts are weird. Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.

Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds. Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.

Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun. Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.

Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts. Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.

Posted on . Filed in . Tagged with .

Operation Beautiful

How do you react when someone compliments you? Do you make a joke out of it? Do you blush and stammer and feel awkward? Do you thank them? Or do you just feel they are telling you what you want to hear to get something out of you? It’s getting harder to give a sincere compliment. Not because there are not good things to compliment people about. But, I feel people will not believe I am sincere or they will be embarrassed. It’s a shame.

Have you heard of Operation Beautiful? It’s random acts of kindness based where you leave a note for any stranger just saying something positive. Especially geared to making women feel good about themselves. You can join the Facebook group, or better yet write out some notes and leave them to be found around wherever you will be today.

Posted on . Filed in . Tagged with .

Keep an Open Mind?

I came to a site called OpenMind from my latest blog space renter, KizzyKim. Open Mind is another politically correct site about being perfect and accepting everything. How nice. Yet, how silly.

Why should we accept everyone and everything? Keep some prejudices, don't become some kind of blank book where you have no memory of things which happened in the past and no reasons for being careful or judgmental. I don't like the happy pill swill sites like Open Mind. They expect us to swallow and regurgitate back out some mindless drivel about how everyone is equal and should have full rights and nothing held against them. That is baloney. You can't go through life wearing blinders. You also shouldn't go through life expecting everyone has taken the same happy pill each morning.

I don't agree with some things which are politically correct in society now. I'm not going to change that, it's based on my experience and how I feel about the world and the people on it. I'm not about to go around burning people or beating them up. But, I'm not going to smile and pretend everything is just fine and okay with me. I have some standards, ideals and opinions of my own.

What about you? If you are truly honest with yourself, do you really agree with all the politically correctness we are told to accept? What do you accept, what do you tolerate and what do you grind your teeth about yet say nothing?

I think the most interesting thing about all of this is that once you give freedoms and acceptance to one group of people (Pagans, gays, gun lovers, little green aliens, etc) you have to take some freedom and acceptance away from another group (think smokers and non-smokers). So, all this open mindedness is really a sham. It doesn't exist, but it does look really nice on paper, newspapers, magazines, TV shows and movies.

Posted on . Filed in . Tagged with .

Killing Us Softly

I think the scariest war news lately has been the finding of chemical/ biological weapons. Especially with the SARS and West Nile virus so much in the news here. It's on everyone's mind I would think. Hospitals are closed down under quarantine. How safe does that feel? How easy are we to target with some new disease that we couldn't even hope to fight.

How damn stupid are the Americans/ US to make a war in this day and age? It's also ironic that so many deaths have come about due to their own people having accidents and killing each other.

Once upon a washroom stall...

Take the toys away from the boys.

It still applies.