6. Be a Force To Be Reckoned With

Have you ever noticed how men find you sexy when you’re a little angry, annoyed or pissed off? Or when you’re making a very clear point and cleverly putting them in their place without putting them down? This tactic is to be used with absolute caution. No point sparking and argument for the sake of it but well worth taking note of and using to your advantage when your man is in need of a little disciplining.

Source: How To Be Sexy - Tap In To Your Inner Sex Appeal With these Tips

A really well behaved man (even without the chains) is kind of sexy.

Fighting Slave Rule 1: Fighting slave's shall ask for entry into Kasra in the fllowing or similar manner: "Drawing to His knees, the fighting slave faces the place where the Homestone lays.Raising well muscled arms high in salute, before placing his palms flat to the tiles... fingers widely splayed, His deep masculine voice rings out...may (name of fighting slave) enter the city of Kasra?"

Fighting Slave Rule 2: Fighting Slave's shall Greet in the following fashion: To the Khan and their Master / Misress a fighting Slave shall Greet in this Fashion - to the Khan - "Tal, Khan and Master. (and any additional greetings as appropriate)" - to their Master / Mistress "Tal, my Master / Mistress, (and any additional greetings as appropriate)"
To all Free fighting slave's shall Greet in this way - "Greetings Master / Mistress {Name}, (and any additional greetings as appropriate)"

Fighting Slave Rule 3: After being granted entry into Kasra, fighting slave's shall greet in this order: The Khan, The Ubara, First Sword, Second Sword, your Master / Mistress, all Free Men of Kasra, All Free Women of Kasra, all Free Visitor's / Guest's (Master's, then Mistresses), any you are unsure of regardless of sex, and then slaves, who are always greeted last, and may be greeted as a group.

Fighting Slave's do not use third person greeting's, a fighting slave's greeting should look something like this - "Greetings Master {Name} I hope this day has been good for you?" Fighting slave's shall also bow, slightly, to the Free they are Greeting before Greeting them. …more

How to Dom with Light Bondage

• Restraints
• Sensual Deprivation
• Discipline
• Safety

Restraints

Restraints are rope, cuffs, etc. Start with something you can easily work with, safely. You want your submissive to be able to get out of the bondage quickly if things suddenly become too intense. Also, you don't want to start out making a lot of fancy knots then discover you can't get them all undone again. Any restraint used must be tested before you start using it as bondage.

Restraints don't have to be physical. Mental bondage is a lovely thing and great for beginners. You have the power to control your submissive - knowing his bondage is not enforced by anything but his own decision to obey. There is more power in a submissive obedient by choice rather than ropes, chains, leather, etc.

Sensual Deprivation

Sensual deprivation is an element of bondage. Blindfolds are less complicated than some methods which include a full hood over the head. Also, a blindfold is simple for beginners to use and experiment with. Don't take away more than one of the five senses at a time (for a beginner in bondage). Keep it fun rather than making them go from nervous and uncertain to actually being afraid.

Think of sensual deprivation as the element of surprise. Use it to tease and give your submissive less control. Build suspense and anticipation. While using a blindfold, narrate everything you are doing or plan to do. While they are in restraints you have taken away their ability to use their hands. A blindfold limits what they can see so they strain a little to use the senses they have left. Make sure you use as many senses as you can when you deprive them of one, or more.

Discipline

Discipline includes spanking but is not limited to just that. Discipline can be a punishment. Discipline can be a set of rules or standards to be kept by the submissive. There is a lot you can do with discipline as mental and physical bondage.

You may have heard of domestic discipline. Spanking is usually included with this. The submissive is treated like a child or dog being trained. They are expected to perform tasks, mainly house cleaning. They may be expected to wear aprons.

The Gor books by John Norman inspired another branch of kinkiness which follows a strict discipline and set or orders. Lesser known are the books by Sharon Green who wrote a female Dom series set on other planets involving men and women being taken from Earth. I especially like her books myself.

Safety

Safety matters. I'm not making it first on my list but it should always be part of your considerations and planning. Anything you bring into play during your bondage should be tested out and practiced with. You don't want to struggle with toys, tools or feel incompetent in the heat of the moment when you are both wound up.

Safety includes some time afterwards, to wind down, get feedback and care for your submissive: aftercare. Don't skip aftercare. This time is good for the submissive to feel cared for, literally. The Dom also needs this time to wind down, release emotions and reconnect with their partner.

I know people who will only play online. They say they are into BDSM but I don't agree. They are missing two important parts of the whole BDSM relationship. The actual parts which make it a relationship.

Is that why they don't want to have anything real? If it were real, would that make it too real for them?

So what are they missing, you may be wondering. First, the reality. How does it really feel to experience your fantasies, fetishes and kinks? How does it feel physically, emotionally and mentally. Second, the after care.

BDSM online doesn't involve aftercare. It's all over once the climax happens. Each person leaves, some leave even before the end, some leave right after the end and some make excuses (not always polite) and leave.

It's so easy to leave that way. You don't have a real connection, just an Internet connection. Nothing like a real relationship where you share the same space emotionally, mentally and physically.

No wonder people doubt the sincerity and authenticity of online play. It really isn't actually real. Not just the lack of commitment but the lack of real contact at all. Online play lacks real involvement, responsibility and shared emotion. No matter what anyone thinks or feels, it is all one sided.

I know because I have done online play. Not dabbled in it but actually spent months and years playing that way. I defended it then too. But, I knew reality was very different. I had reality with my husband. (No I was not cheating on him, we weren't married very long and I played before and after).

Online play is lonely.

Online play leaves you wanting more. That only works in show business. Wanting more is not good when it happens to you. It makes you needy, clingy and very sad.

Anyway, it's a shame there is no aftercare with online play. It could make all the difference to the people involved. But, I think that is the attraction for most of them. Even as they yearn for something real they don't want to give anything real to someone else. They seek care but want it all for themselves. Is that why there are so many more women as BDSM submissives than Domme online?

So many interesting questions and I'm just here talking to myself. But, it's real. Until I find someone who can share something real with me I'd rather be alone than feel even more alone while I'm with someone else.

Once a BDSM scene has physically ended, the connection between Dom and sub is still very much active, learn how best to deal with aftercare.

Source: The Importance of Aftercare | bdsm-talk.co.uk

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