Originally posted to Adult BackWash: Thursday November 14, 2002

How much does a man sell for you may be asking. Well, it's shockingly little. Or not so shocking, depending on your fondness for men at the moment. Mine tends to wobble around like a bowlful of jello.

What would you pay for a man? It's an interesting question. Of course, most people would say it depends on the man. Many women I know would think first of his end, the butt end. Not me! No, I don't care what he has behind him. I don't intend to spend a lot of time back there. It's what's in front that counts for me.

Let's not even pretend to consider what's inside. We all know that's just a lot of blood, guts and stuff we routinely clean off underwear, furniture and carpets upon occasion. Now, with that mental image let's consider what really is attractive in a man.

If I look at a man (anyone really) I look right in the eyes. So that's where my interest starts. The face. What kind of smile does he have, do I like the way his face wrinkles? I prefer a craggy sort of face, it gets better wrinkles and grooves and general cragginess. Thus the whole crag word. Not sure what a crag is? Think mountains, rocks, cliffs and you'll be on the right track.

From the face... I look at hands and I listen to his voice. I can't decide which matters more. Without the voice the rest doesn't matter all that much. But, if he has the wrong kind of hands I won't really care about being touched by him. Which would be a waste really as I love being touched. I also love hearing a really good male voice. I could be in a dark room and just listen to him talk. A really good voice is worth at least one good orgasm.

What's left? I kind of wonder at this point too. If you want to get technical there is the whole penis thing. But, mother's of invention that we are, women have found a way around that. We have all kinds of rubber, plastic and jelly-like penis type things. You can go to WalMart and pick out a penis and get the batteries on the side. They have those batteries right at the check outs! Right in the open! It's like they want us to buy extra duty batteries for those nifty massager things. Not that I have one of course, just the batteries. Not even the right sized batteries really.

Which brings me to a small pet peeve. Why do they sell batteries in packages of two? We can only use one penis at a time!

Well, maybe that nameless G of the Trinity... but those are just rumours. Right? I'm far too shy and wallflowerish to ask.

Sugar and Spice - Just a little naughtiness for women. Bring your own batteries

A new newsletter! Fresh and untouched. No one will even be subscribed as I type this. I expect that to change, well at least I'll subscribe myself. That way I won't be too lonely. I talk to myself all the time. Just don't tell anyone.

Moving right along... this is a newsletter for women who like being sensual, reading the odd bit of erotica and viewing the odd naked male. Yes, just the odd ones. The standard males are the ones we married, we can see them any day.

Be warned there will likely be some teasing, tormenting and now and then a touch of male bashing going on in here. You can't be nice all the time! That would be boring.

Originally posted to Adult BackWash: Wednesday October 23, 2002

Why don't men play with Barbie dolls? Isn't that what they really dream of? There she is big tits, ass and teeny waist, all done in good quality plastic without the expense of a surgeon. Barbie never wants to go out. She doesn't care if you talk nicely to her or if you even talk to her at all. Barbie will wear whatever you want, as often as you want. Barbie really is the ultimate woman for a lot of men.

Her biggest drawback is that she is short and kind of limited when it comes to sex. No wonder some men buy those blow up dolls, life sized Barbie with convenient holes. Three of them as far as I can tell. Blow up Barbie travels well too. Let the air out and pack Barbie into your shaving kit. Just watch those sharp objects.

Barbie's worst nightmares are fire and sticky stuff. Fire is pretty self explanatory. But, imagine an unwashed, sticky, crusty blow up Barbie. It's not like you can expect that girl to do any self maintenance. She will never shower herself off, brush her hair, patch up her leaks. Poor blow up Barbie, she'll never be someone you could take home to Mother. Luckily, she is easy to replace. If one blow up Barbie gets mangy looking just buy a new one at the adult store.

Men with a few dollars to spare could really go to town and have two blow up Barbies. Isn't that every man's other fantasy? You could use elastic to rope those Barbie babes together and let them at each other. What a wild night that would be! Just don't let Ken know the address.

Originally posted to Adult BackWash, my weekly column was Bait and Switch: Wednesday September 04, 2002

When I finish writing this column I'm going to strip off my clothes, all of them.

First, my shirt, just pull it off over my head and let it fall to the bed. I won't bother with the buttons. Next, the bra, its tight and confining. Today it left a crease in my skin, right under my breast. I guess its time I bought some new bras. Maybe something red and slinky with matching panties.

I like stripping off the top first. I like my breasts, seeing them, holding them. I have large, round, smooth and silky-skinned breasts. More than a handful for my hands.

I'll pull off my pants and toss them onto the bed too. I wore jeans today. Jeans can be confining too. It's always so nice to get them off. My panties will follow. I wore pink cotton panties today, nice for the humid summer day.

Then I'll be naked. The house is dark. The hallway will be softly dark and quiet. I like stepping out into the hall, knowing there is some small chance someone will come out and see me. In about 5 seconds I will be in the bathroom. Often, I will stop to admire my breasts in the mirror before I get the shower water running.

Once the water is nice and hot and the steam has begun leaking out through the shower curtain, I'll step into the shower. My soap and shampoo are already there. I have a delicious vanilla shampoo and conditioner I've been using lately.

Standing in the water, I'll get wet all over. I like to have the water run in my face and down my body. Washing off the day.

I always wash my hair first. My hair is long and curly, it takes a bit of time to wash and rinse it. Usually I shampoo it twice. I'll run my fingers through the wet hair and rub my scalp. When I use the conditioner I like to finger comb it through my hair.

I'll start washing my body then. I'll squirt soap into the palm of my hand, rub my hands together and spread soapy lather over my chest and breasts first. Under the breasts, over them and then down my belly. I lather up my arms and legs and stretch to reach my back. Then, my neck, face and my behind. Last, I wash my pussy. Its much simpler with the shower hose, that kind that you can pull it around and rinse up close. I like to be sure I wash all the soap out of every nook and cranny.

Once I'm squeaky clean, I'll have an all over rinse. If I were in a hurry or tired I'd just get out at that point. But, tonight, I'll take some time to enjoy the water. I love having hot, pulses of water massaging and pouring down my back. I know some women like to have pulses of water in other places. Not me. For me its much more sensual for the water to run over my back, getting all those good spots.

When I've had enough I will turn off the water, drip dry a few seconds and wring water out of my hair. I'll step out of the shower, carefully. I don't want to slip on the floor in my bare, wet feet. I almost never use a towel to dry off. I like being wet, my skin all slippery and shiny with water droplets. Back, down the hall, naked and wet. In my bedroom, I will put on a nightie. Tonight I have picked out something pretty and pink, left over from my honeymoon.

So, that's what I'll be doing when I finish writing this column.

Originally posted to Adult BackWash, my weekly column was Bait and Switch: Wednesday July 24, 2002

Being a Domme should be about doing what turns you on, not about satisfying all of his whims, fetishes and turn ons. You are the one in charge after all. Otherwise, what do you really get out of it? Sure, its nice to please your mate, but that's not the name of this game. You please him by pleasing you. So, wipe your slate clean and start fresh, with a new mind set.

First, consider tossing out are those fetish wear clothes and heels. Unless you really do find pleasure in wearing them, why torture yourself? Think of something practical, like boots you can stomp around in. In your mind play "These boots were made for walking" and get yourself walking in a new pair of sexy, woman in charge boots. Spike heels optional. When you think of clothes why wear something expensive in leather. Check out some denim, its washable and easy to wear. As we all know, cotton breathes. If you can sew put together an outfit, maybe a dramatic cape too.

Once you're dressed for success put yourself in the picture. Think of things YOU would really like to do to or with him. If having him kiss your feet turns you off, his feet fetish is on the back burner. Instead, have him brush your hair, wash it too. Or he can be of some use polishing your nails, running your bath water, making dinner and cleaning everything up afterwards. Be creative but don't cater to his desires unless you want the same things. Do you hate cleaning the bathroom, would you like a servant to scrub your back in the shower, would you like a bouquet of fresh flowers sent to your work or would you just like to see him naked and waiting for you to make use of him, hoping that you will notice him sometime before the evening news.

You might not even want to play this game at all. It could be all his nagging, pestering or demands have put you right off the whole thing and its become a job you have to do. Take some time off from it, regroup and see if there is some aspect of this you could enjoy. Experiment on him. Tie him to a chair for the morning and just leave him there. Blindfold him, gag him, play with him or ignore him - he is totally in your hands. This is one time when the pace of the foreplay (or sex) is all up to you.

Find new things for him to do, household chores, pampering you, or spending a day at your mercy. The most important thing is to remember you are the one he should be pleasing, not the other way around.