Posts tagged with “sexuality”
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BDSM of the Senses

Originally posted to Adult BackWash.com: Friday January 31, 2003  

When I'm writing, especially erotica, I try to include appeals to all the five senses. In case yours are a bit rusty: touch, taste, smell, sight and sound.

Why shouldn't it be the same in real play? Have you thought of ways you could make things more sensual by working on an extra sense, usually ignored? The sense of smell is one which gets ignored in writing erotica. I think it's also least likely to be thought of while making lust too. Probably a close second to sound.

What would happen if you both were blindfolded and under instructions not to touch each other. Could you find each other in the room? (Assuming that you started in different places of course). Would body heat and the odd whisper of sound be enough? It would be an interesting game, sort of the adult version of blind man's bluff. Maybe it wouldn't be all that interesting. Some people would get bored, some would laugh and others might turn it into a feast of the senses. It's just an idea.

But, I wonder, how would sex be without any sense of smell or sound? Even if those aren't put into play a lot I think they do give the whole thing a finesse. That little something needed to pull the whole thing together. Could you make love, have sex, tease or torment your lover without enjoying the sounds and smells? Remember, little things mean a lot.

The other senses are easy. Sight is a big one for men. For women, or me at least, I find touch is more important. Maybe that's because we don't feel it's real until we really FEEL it's real. Is that what lets men get turned on by naughty pictures that don't do all that much for women? Taste is taken care of, unless you're the straight missionary position, no fuss no muss type. How can you not want to taste your lover? A bite here and a nibble there. That's what love is for.

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Domme: Leader or Follower?

Originally posted to Adult BackWash.com: Friday January 24, 2003  

There is one complication with FemDoms and their male submissives that doesn't get talked about very often. It's the whole idea of who is serving who.

Does the Domme (FemDom sounds like some robot to me) really dress that way because she chooses to or is it part of the performance for the male submissive? Those spiked heels that she has to be careful walking in, who are they really for? All that make up, sticky leather and black colours... who is the tormented and who is the tormentor?

It creeps into the play itself. If a couple practices BDSM does the Domme have to be on call for the submissive, or can she choose to take a night off? If she isn't in the mood does he respect that because she is the Domme or does he expect her to cater to his wishes? What does she do in the end? Does she please herself or is it all a performance for him?

If you are a Domme evaluate your own relationships with submissives. How often are you catering to him? How often does he really serve you in a way that you want to be served? Does all that toe licking really serve you or would he be of more use cleaning your floors? Do you really want to sit around having your boots licked or would you rather be out somewhere, letting him stay home and watch TV, locked up in his cage, awaiting you. Do you really like spanking or would you rather have him pleasing you, sucking your breasts, kissing your back, sitting naked at your feet, acting as your table while you read or brushing your hair all those one hundred strokes you don't have the patience to do.

It's also interesting to look at punishments and discipline. Do you discipline him because he earned it or because he begged for it? Does the punishment fit the offense or is it just a gimmick, playing along with his desires? Has he ever really been punished, something he genuinely does not like or want to do? Are your punishments a game or a threat?

Not that having a male submissive should be a one way street. The male submissive's needs to have met, to some extent. But, the point of being Domme is that you are the one in charge. Are you? Or is he?

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Writing for Sex Kitten

Sex-Kitten.net ~ Home of playful, modern pin-up women

Yes, of course that's me in the picture! :D

Laura's Room: Some feisty opinions, heartfelt thoughts, & fantasies from our Canadian grrl (you know they are secretly trying to rule the world!)

Cute description too. Gracie wrote it. So what do you think of my boudoir?

I've also been asked to write for another website, Marquis de Libertine. I've decided to do it but haven't made any breath catching plans for what I will write. Sometimes the best stuff just pops into my head when I'm sitting with the keyboard and space to write.

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Industrial Erotica and Blood Sisters

The main problem with having a period is the bloody mess. After that the problem is the hormones, or lets just skip a few steps and call it the horniness. Yes, here it is day one and I'm already muttering "squish, squish" and then thinking about all the ways I'd love to make lustful sex with some nice, warm body.

Having sex at this point isn't really what I want. I'd rather just let all the bleeding go on in peace. But, there is plenty more sensuality to sex. At least there should be. No wonder men are from Mars and women are from Venus.

Anyway, once upon a time I found a Yahoo Club called Blood Sisters. In theory women were able to talk about their periods. But, all too often some horny dick posted about how much he wanted to fuck us all. What desperate morons.

Mostly, it made me angry that they had to spoil even this womanly ritual. It's not like any of them have anything to contribute. I don't care who they are, they don't bleed once a month, they don't have cramps and moods and they don't get aggravated because their cute new panties just got stained. Don't you just hate when you get those surprises?

I do. That's why I've resorted to wearing cotton granny panties when the mess starts.

Back to the desperate morons... do you ever think that the real reason men like women to suck their cocks (become cock suckers) is to feel accepted by us? I've wondered about this. I mean, everyone wants to feel accepted. Men do have that silly looking thing. Maybe what they really need is to feel we aren't laughing at it behind their backs. Not that we aren't. But, maybe the illusion would make them feel better.

Though, why do we want to resort to being cock suckers just to spare their feelings/ ego? From what I've read in the Adult BackWash messageboards if they get into the gymnastics of the whole thing they can suck it themselves. Would they call themselves cock suckers?

I'm so curious. That and contrary. Right now I think I will go out and get myself some ice cream. Diet be damned. No wonder I was craving the stuff yesterday. At least I was spared all the pre-period zits this time.

Does anyone have links to something about an erotic mad scientist? Yes, I'll be looking for industrial erotica tonight. May as well just go right to IRC and troll bait.

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Ode to Daddy Dearest

Originally posted to Adult Backwash.com: Wednesday January 08, 2003  

What is so attractive about the man in charge? Unless he slobbers, has a face full of puss or some other horrible problem, I have always been attracted to, and flirted with, the man in charge. Not, of course, my own Dad. That's not what my Ode to Daddy Dearest is about. I'm not into incest.

It's more like seduction and letting go, knowing he will be there to instruct, discipline and coddle as desired. Not that most men even get a hint of that. I think you really do need to draw them a map for the finer points of seduction. But, there is no guide to seduction that works for every woman. There are too many different kinky ideas, fetishes and perky bits to satisfy. No one man could be that perfect.

But, a woman can fantasize. In my fantasy it's usually some Daddy Dearest that seduces me. Leads me down the path to sex, pulls me along, guides me, and finally fills me with his big cock while sucking on my breasts and playing with my clit. Damned if I know how he has that technique perfected! But he does, almost every time.

The other times it's not Daddy Dearest (who comes in the form of teacher, scientist, alien, and so many other unique forms) but it's me! I'm not quite as nice as my Daddy Dearest though. In fact, I can be on the nasty side. But, men have tough hides, they can take it, right?

Fantasy men can take it all and last as long, and as hard, as you want. At least I haven't managed to break one of them yet. I'll just have to keep trying.