It's 4:36 am, I don't feel sexy. alluring or all that much like flirting. But, here I am. Alone with my computer and the chirping birds outside. All I can think about the birds is that the worm population is in big trouble. I didn't think even birds got up this early.

Anyway, to answer the unasked questions. I'm wearing a blue nightie. It's soft and cottony. There is a drawstring neckline. The ribbon slips untied and my cleavage is revealed. I tested it out myself, I wanted to know if I could make the top low enough to expose myself. It seemed important at the time. Some day I won't be the only one appreciating my cleavage.

That's all I'm wearing. No socks, no bra, no panties. Just one short nightie over my skin.

Last night I wore an older nightie, it's leftover from the honeymoon of my marriage. The nightie is long, satiny and slinky. I can fold it up and hold the whole thing in my fist. Though it's long there is almost nothing to the top. It's cut low, so low I can never keep my breasts inside, safe from popping out. The front reveals me all the way down to my belly button. The rest of it is just straps to keep the nightie from falling to the floor. It's pretty, pink, but not something you would want to wear around small children.

It's 4:47 am, the birds are still chirpy outside my window. But, it's time for me to get to bed. I'm so glad I can sleep in tomorrow. It's so nice to stay in bed, warm and cozy, alone with my imagination and my fingers.

Originally posted to Sex Kitten (2003 - 2004)

Why is our culture so focused on how we look? Especially when the "we" are women. Look at all the grooming women have to do compared to that of men. Although the tide has began to change and men are beginning to use cosmetics, consider shaving more than their faces and wonder if that manly smell is really all it's cracked up to be.

Still, women have to think of nails, shaving most of their body, hair, lips, wrinkles, teeth, body odour (not just arm pits), well... you know the drill. Why have we let our culture box us into this beauty rut?

It's not that I think we should all grow leg hair, burn bras, refuse to wear make up and so on. But, why do we have to see commercials telling us that we should worry if our toes are pretty enough, if our hair is shiny enough, if our skin is glowing enough, and so on. When are we allowed to be human animals and have some imperfections?

We aren't born to be perfect. Men certainly are not shoved into this tight mold of perfumed perfection. Men are allowed to have less than smooth and silky skin. No one expects men to have pretty toes so they will look cute when they wear sandals. No one expects men to rip the hair from their most tender areas so they can wear some skimpy thong that reveals all that cellulite they couldn't exercise off back there.

In the end, I wonder, who are we doing all this for? Ourselves? Probably not, wouldn't you be happier if you could ease up on yourself, live with and even accept a few imperfections? Our men, maybe, but from what I've heard they can accept us with a few zits, the odd wrinkle and less than perfect toes. Maybe we do it for our families. Don't most families expect you to go out into the big world and show everyone how well you turned out?

I don't know. But, I'm tired of feeling no part of me is ever good enough, pretty enough or perfect enough. How old do I have to be before I can just look like me (warts and all) and still feel acceptable, not quite a freak of nature, maybe even... pretty?

I'm getting ready for work as I write this. What does that have to do with anything, you may wonder? Not much. Just that I'm sitting here sipping lukewarm coffee dressed in my low cut pink nightie and nothing else.

So, what do you wear to bed? I prefer night gowns. Especially those long, silky things. This one is low cut, all the way down to my belly button. Not my usual style but kind of fun. I like wearing it when I know someone is likely to see. I can wear my pink fluffy robe over it, closed up around my cleavage and then let the robe slip open whenever I want. The sad thing is that there isn't anyone to see it today. Some guy came to the door to fix the water pipes but he wasn't very interesting.

I don't flirt just for the sake of flirting. It has to be fun, adventurous and daring to be exciting. Isn't that the whole point?

Well, time is slipping through my fingers. Just an hour to get dressed and drive myself to work. Do you ever wonder what those uniformly dressed people wear under their prim and proper uniforms? Live and wonder... though I may be tempted to tell you someday.

Originally posted to Adult BackWash: Thursday May 08, 2003  

Men are cute when they blush. Unless your man is very jaded, you can have fun making him blush, using humiliation. It is not meant as abuse however. So, know what you have to work with and what needs to be avoided. Keep it light and remember there is life after your fun, don't leave him with something he can't explain at work the next day. (Unless that's what he likes).

Most men get fidgety about things like women's periods, girly things, and so on. Make a list of things you know will bother him. How about being exposed, even if it's not likely anyone can see him. Think of it, a tall building surrounded by shorter buildings and him standing naked in the window. Would he get butterflies?

There is a lot of humiliation in age play scenarios. I wrote some of my own ideas in my erotica for Chris. Things like taking him to a restaurant and making him order from the kids menu, wear a bib and ask for the crayons and activity sheet usually given to children.

Another thing to keep in mind is how your scheme for him affects others. Public nudity might seem great fun while you're in the planning stages but it's indecent exposure if there are other people around who don't feel quite the same way you do about it. Plan, think and scheme and you can make your best ideas work.

I personally don't like forced feminism, though that is a popular humiliation. I just don't think it's very complimentary to us, the real women.

Need more ideas? Keep him nude all evening while you remain dressed, doing everything as usual. Have him acting as your footrest for the evening. Send him to the store for the big box of maxi pads, flowery underwear (in his size), cosmetics, or scented bubble bath. Have him join and graduate from a sewing class. Make him take a map into a gas station and ask for directions. Whatever works.

Would you ever want to have a penis for a day? I think an hour would be plenty of time to answer all my penis related questions.

Do women really have better orgasms than men? How does it feel to carry that thing around, is it any more awkward than breasts? I think not, breasts stand at attention on a permanent basis. Anyway, the only other thing I'd test drive is the pee situation. Not about peeing standing up but about the aiming. Is it really so hard to aim and shoot at the same time? Then why do they miss? Is it just to show they can... err... can't?

My questions will never be answered really. I'd have to see for myself and that's not going to happen. Also, I really don't want to be a penis carrier. It just looks so funny when I think of it. To me it seems like carrying a mini elephants trunk (including the wide floppy ears) around inside your pants. How could anyone take that seriously?

Have you ever been tempted to stuff a sock in your pants just to see how it would feel? Not me either. That's why the whole penis envy thing is such a laugh. Women don't want a penis. Why would we when we can reach out and touch one pretty much upon request if not sooner.