I read a post by a man talking about how hard it is to find a Domme who will date boys. My first thought was to wonder where he is looking cause I find there are plenty of Dom women who are looking. Then, it occurred to me... he is talking about professional women, only.

Men who spend their time paying to be Dommed narrow their minds a great deal. Maybe it is the idea that being a Domme is a bad thing, something only a wicked, dirty woman would do. The other women they work with, see in the grocery store, talk to on the bus, etc. would never be the sort to do something like that. So they can only think of the professional Domme/ FemDoms when they consider having a real relationship with a Domme. It must be something like that, cause it just can't be that men are generally so narrow minded, can it?

If you are only trying to date the Dommes who perform as a job/ get paid you are barking up the wrong tree. Not all of them are Dommes outside of work. My friend was a professional but is happily married and living with her husband as his sub. She can work it either way for clients, but her reality is different. Also, I expect dating the men they meet through business is like taking their work home with them. When do they get time to be just themselves if they have to Dom all the time?

There are women who are not professionals and those tend to be the women who know what they want and would like a relationship with a man who knows his place. However, I am cautious about men who have paid for it. They get the wrong idea and assume it will always be done their way, a performance on command.

The closest I came before that was reading some of my Dad's Gor books and finding trashy magazines my younger brother had hidden. These were geared to men's fantasies of course. 

I'm still learning what my inner most desires are. Bondage certainly, I'm not sure about spankings or a lot of the other "traditional" pain/ pleasure ideas. I am willing to experience most of these things. Except something like being whipped, that would be very painful.  …more

I began my BDSM journey, I now understand, as myself. I'm still myself. Along the way I looked into different roles and labels and tried to fit myself into them. That was a mistake, a misplacement of myself. But, it was interesting and all adds flavour to the journey, making it a chance to discover who I am.

Here are conversations I had through forums and email and a post I wrote at points during my discovery. (It will be at least two posts).

I've been trying to think of a simple way to explain how I feel to be a switch. I thought about buttons, the kind you find with your partner to drive them wild with lust. Well, in my case the buttons connect to a switch like a train track. Depending on which buttons are pushed my switch changes from the submissive track to the Dominant one. Other ways to look at it: I want to wear someone's collar and belong to that person, I also want someone to be owned by me and wear the collar I give them.  My bondage fantasies are about being taken captive and taking a captive of my own.  …more

Twitter / Search - #ThingsMenShouldntTextEachOther.

My brother would get furious at our younger sister for calling him "gay", "queer", "fag". She would make this a game when he had friends over. My poor brother would try not to rise to her baiting him. But, like anyone who is tormented relentlessly, he did come to his limit. He would jump up, she would run, he would chase her (the odd thing was that she still would not shut her mouth and kept taunting him even while she was running away).

Anyway, my weird family history aside, being gay was not okay. Men were sensitive to the issue, still are. For all I read about accepting homosexuality there is still a lot of discomfort with homosexuality. I can understand. I don't fully accept it myself.

I'm not about to bash anyone and I don't have a phobia about it (homophobia is a childish argument). But, it does not feel like something natural and right to me. I don't make an issue of it. It's a point where I just agree to disagree.

Today, reading the above hashtag on Twitter I got to see that things are not much changed from when I was in high school and my sister would torment my brother with those words. Men still feel uncomfortable, sensitive to the questioning of their manhood. That's a shame. I personally believe men are about the same as they always have been.

The issue of homosexuality really is quietly intruding into my own family these days. I have a nephew in high school. He has had to face the questions about his manhood. Is his voice pitched a little too high? Is it ok if he likes to dress up in a suit and add some blonde to his hair? Are his feet not big enough? (We don't talk about any other measurements...).

His peers decided he is gay at some point and have not let it go. It's not that he is one of those kids being bullied (at least I don't think so) but in his group of friends they joke about his sexuality. Meanwhile, this is a kid who is not having sex (we have talked about this and I choose to believe him). To that group of kids being gay is more about fashion choices, body language and physical characteristics than sexual partners. It's more about the image which gay men have been given by the media than about the reality of liking men/ your own gender sexually.

Take some time to read the posts on Twitter, made by men. Almost everything added to this hashtag is about the issue of homosexuality and being a man, being man enough. Write about men, our brothers, Fathers, nephews, sons, etc. What is the role of men in our culture? What would you like men to feel about themselves, as men?

Note: If anyone uses this post to make a stand about homosexuality I will delete the comment. This is about men and manhood (choice of sex partner is not relevant to the issue of being manly/ man enough).

I like the Gorean style for male submissives. They have gone into so much detail. The service and ownership side of the Gore way of D/s is intricate and sexy. I like to keep information as I find it. Each point can be adapted to my own wants and needs as a Domme.

Types of Slaves

barbarian: a native of the planet Earth, usually used in a derogatory sense in reference to slave girls from that planet. Also defined as slave girls captured from outlying regions or cities. Barbarian slave girls from Earth are considered shamelessly sensual. (Assassin of Gor, page 20; Book 17: Savages of Gor, page 83)

below deck girl: the term used for slave girls transported in the hold of a ship; they are held in individual cages and because of infestations of lice, all of their body hair is shaved; the term 'below-deck girl' is used derisively especially by those slave girls allowed to remain on deck in cages, who need not have shaved heads, though all slaves on a slaver ship are unclothed. (Slave Girl of Gor, page 318 - 321) …more