Years ago I wrote a column for the adult side of a site, BackWash. Its still around in archives online but stopped publishing long ago. It was mostly fun to write on the adult side. I wrote about myself and my experiences involved with men and BDSM.

My conclusion was, the main problem for women involved with BDSM is being over run by what men want. They say one thing, but don't really listen or really consider what she wants. For them, overall, it is a fetish. Whether they are dominant or submissive. That was my experience over a few years.

Anyway, I wandered away from the BDSM dating and ideals, later I stopped writing adult stories or columns, or ideas. Now and then I find something I would still like to write about. But, its off putting to write about adult topics along with everything else. The two don't mix so well.

But, today I found the site Chyrpe, an adult dating application based on the idea of female led relationships, also known as FemDom, Domme, and other words and phrases. I wonder how many of the women joining are professionals, likely almost all of them. That seems to be the only way it really works. There will be the very few who are not in a professional/ paid relationship.

They have a contact form for 'Ambassadors', a paying thing. I was interested because I have bills to pay, who doesn't. But, the form wants social media links with traffic/follower stats. I haven't had that for years. If that's how they choose Ambassadors, I'm not going to get anywhere with it.

Also, the whole thing about starting that up again. Yes, it could be fun, a lot of fun some days. But, it was also disappointing. Mostly because I was still honestly hoping to find someone (real) at that time. I never did. They were all fake, or fetish based, all about how they could serve me before even knowing (or asking) what I wanted. (I was sent dick pics before they even asked my name, just ASL and sometimes my measurements and weight) They were self serving and expecting me to perform a role. Wear the tight, shiny, skimpy clothes and a ton of make up and high heels. Well, that still isn't me.

I am still debating applying for the Ambassador thing. If I do, I can at least see what they are thinking the Ambassadors do. That would be interesting. So, I guess I will.

On a side note, I found my old link from the asstr.org site - shedragon

Female Sexual Arousal Disorder – is it real or is it just a bunch of horny men?

I used to write an adult sort of column for a website. It was sometimes fun, interesting, and sometimes aggravating. The issue about women and sex is huge and complicated.

I have wondered what our culture would really be like if it were balanced for men and women. Or, really, what would our day to day lives be like if we lived in an Amazon culture where women are the leaders? Have always been the leaders. Those in charge, making the rules, setting the standards. I don't believe we can even imagine it. Our own culture is so far the other way its not something we can understand.

Movies and stories are created about imagined Amazon cultures. They are always based on our current standards. Of course, it matters who the writer is. Their own ideas, notions, and experiences. I don't think it is at all possible for anyone to get an unbiased look at how a women-led world would be. How it would have evolved.

We are biased, even the most radical feminist, is biased by the world as it is, the culture we have grown up in. So, the idea that women have a sexual arousal disorder is ludicrous/ ridiculous. Who is so qualified and unbiased to decide what sexual arousal should be for anyone? What's normal and who can make that decision for someone else.

So, yes, it seems to me this idea of female sexual arousal disorder is based on the expectations of men. Just because men, in general seem to want more sex, how does that mean a woman is out of order if she does not have that same interest?

For me that's just the start of it. Men and women tend to live different lives, with different expectations about who they are, who they should be, and what they should do. The old double standard, the idea that she is a lady in the streets and a whore in the sheets, she is someone's sainted mother and someone else's wife, less saintly. Then... can we even agree about what is a women, a female any more?

There is the tip of a pretty interesting and slippery iceberg. Lets leave it that I do not believe in female sexual arousal disorder.

An unfinished list.

1. Place him in a doorway, tied up.
2. Pose him for kinky photography.
3. Doodle on him with washable markers.
4. Play with ice cubes and rubber gloves.
5. Get him to make snow angels in the winter.
6. Play catch with water balloons in the summer.
7. Tickle him with a feather duster.
8. Blindfold him.
9. Admire him, out loud.
10. Keep him in a cage.
11. Put him in bondage and explore his body.
12. Display him in front of a curtained window.

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This comes from a personal site which will probably disappear when Tripod starts to dump it's free hosting.

Male slaves/ submissives following the Gorean ways are kind of rare.  The only thing I really hear about is collaring. There is more to it. It has a lot of ceremony and tradition. It's quiet and calm (at least that's how I have seen it to be) versus the aggressive sort of D/s men talk about and claim to want. Of course, you can bring in other ideas and adapt anything, but I generally like the softer, quiet and composed side of the Gorean kajirus way.

So, you have chosen to become a sub, or slave, otherwise known as a kajira/kajirus on Gor. This page will assist you, helping you to become a better slave, and give you advise on protocols such as serving, punishments and the like.

The life on Gor that you are placed in leaves you with no control. You are owned and do as you are told or face the consequences. Bring enough dishonour in your actions, and you will find yourself dead. Masters/Mistress will not put up with a disobediant slave for long, so you must ensure that you please and honour the Masters and Mistresses that you serve.

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I admit, I like even reading about male slaves in the Gor books/ fetish. They call them Kajirus. I like all the rules and standards they were given. There is far less written about male slaves, even less about male slaves with female owners. Most of the modern information I find online is geared to gay males. But, no big surprise there. Any time you look for men in chains or bondage, etc most of it will be gay men (until it becomes yet more erotica for men in general). Women as Doms are very much under represented. …more