List of free things you can do to feel better:
Clean your space (even just your desk. Doesn't need to be the whole house in one go. I'm going room by room right now). But re-organising and clearing space allows your head to think clearer - I tried to fight it but they don't lie about that one haha.
Random suggestion I did: Not the typical cupboard clean of old clothes. Try the option of "do I like this?", "does this make me feel fat or uncomfortable?", "is this REALLY my style or am I being polite cos it was a gift?", "one day I will be skinny again and fit into it", "there are people with less than me, I can't throw this out, it's in good condition" etc. Well, then make a bag of old and damaged, and make a second bag of good condition that you can donate to someone more in need. If it's just sitting there and you never wear it or it makes you sad, or if you have bad memories attached... Get rid of it. Sell it, or give it away. Someone will love it. It doesn't have to be your reminder if you're already not feeling good enough about yourself.
Put pen to paper. If you're not a journal-ly type of person, that's ok too. You don't even need to be creative. Just get your emotions out in a constructive manner. You can draw (badly is really fine), or write down everything that makes you angry and then burn it if you're scared someone sees it. It's kind of therapeutic regardless of how you do it. Just get it out. Keeping things in is what makes us angry out of nowhere.
Give yourself a social media break. I went on and off Instagram etc. for the last few years, it does wonders when you're stuck in a comparison cycle. People don't post their shitty days - don't forget that. A lot is edited, or AI or just the best moments. I kind of like people not knowing my peace. Who am I trying to impress anyway? (Side note: I won't be posting here again, so you can follow me on IG to see what I do next, it's a self-made kids game. @cazztregurtha. But I like to stay private mostly. That happy girl you see there tried to kill herself 3 times since the first post. Just as an example. Not in the last 2 years though. But the thoughts creep in occasionally - it's a constant battle. And that's ok too.)
Make a playlist. I used to have one called "Sad shit 1", that I could have a good cry to haha. My boyfriend still laughs at me for this one cos there was never a Sad Shit 2. But I need to feel stuff sometimes, so it helps... But then change the playlist. Don't sit in the sadness. Use mine. If you hate my style of songs, make one that makes you want to get up. I have another one called "Badass Bitch" if I need motivation haha. I listen to this specific playlist here that I posted "💖" every morning for some motivation and as I write this. But I am very much a music feelings person. Once again, each to their own.
Cut out anyone who makes you feel "less-than" or keeps making toxic choices. Guys, this one is NOT EASY!!!!! I'm gonna be real with you. I have cut out my own mom, best friends and been divorced twice. At some point you need to start choosing yourself. Forgive them and forgive yourself, and then move forward. I now have a partner of two years who just picked me a baby sunflower this weekend on the side of the road when he went to cycle and carefully somehow cycled home with it in tact cos he knew it would make me smile. It's not hard, and does not require money to make someone feel special. Diamonds are not a girl's best friend. That's a lie. Feeling safe is. And your gut is normally right.
There's a cool app I started using called Shmoody. For people like me. You have to pay for full access, I can't right now and it still helps. Just be smart about it. It really is an every day little progress. You can't rush healing anyway.
Phone a friend/Play with a pet if you feel like you can't talk to anyone. It's ok. You have got this. Once the toxic people are gone, your heart has space to invite positivity. Being alone is scary, but if you focus on yourself, you'll stop making decisions that are bad for your life and your future. Once the noise is gone, your brain will have to decide what it actually likes itself. That's a tough one actually, hence the journaling idea.
Cook yourself something healthy. Yes, for some sad reason fast food is cheaper but your body and brain need nutrients to think properly. I know, I know, pizza is also my favourite thing. But I realised it was never about weight gain or being skinny. It's about your brain needing stuff to work best. There's plenty apps to ask or even free ChatGPT could probably give you a recipe of healthier stuff in your fridge if you gave it the list. I don't need a nap in the afternoon anymore. And I will be having pizza this week, do not fear haha. A whole one. My body's healthy weight is around 70kgs and I am only 165cms. So my BMI says otherwise, but I do still want to enjoy life thank you very much haha. It's just about more healthy choices than not. That's all you need to do. Ignore the scale and see how you feel internally. Some people thrive on less and some on more. It's irrelevant. My gorgeous and successful step mom is 20kgs less than me and taller. It really doesn't matter, that's what works for her. I'm tired of everyone trying to fit in the same mould. Your lifestyle, financial situation and medical reasons are your own. You don't need to fit society's perfection standards. That's all nonsense anyway.
Sleep schedule. I am guilty of this. I get inspired and will go for two nights without sleep. Then be depressed a few days later and wonder why like a dumbass haha. Yes, Caroline, you are tired because kids have bed times for a reason and that reason does not disappear when you're an adult.
Have you looked at nature lately? It's pretty beautiful. Here's an unedited pic of a butterfly I appreciated this weekend. If you look up from your phone, you'd be surprised at the world around you.
Write down your goals. Big silly ones that make you feel embarassed, and small achievable ones for your immediate future. From "Eat breakfast every day", to "I want a Grammy". Doesn't matter, just start.
Start a basic To-Do List. You do NOT have to conquer the world or rise up TODAY. There's no rush. Self-care, like playing a game is allowed to be on this list. In fact, it should.
Move your body. It does not have to be gym. I don't like to gym. I take my dog for walks and I dance to this playlist in private in my living room. And I am a TERRIBLE dancer haha. But it does not matter, it feels good.
Most importantly, don't quit. If you wanna quit, go to bed and try again tomorrow. We're living longer, there's no ticking clock. You only have yourself to prove wrong. You can. You really, really can. Tomorrow is always another day. I've been doing these little things for 6 weeks. I'm sorry that the world can be harsh and that there is war, and unfairness and anger and hate. You will be ok, I promise. The world needs your light. Even if you don't see it right now. ✨
