I'm allergic to animals. If I'm around them (fur bearing animals) I get an allergic reaction and then suffer an asthma attack. I can take anti-histamine and asthma medications, but I'd rather not.

At this point, to be honest, the idea of having animals in the house is gross to me. My Grandmother felt the same way - she lived in a one room house (over 80 years ago) and had to share it with the farm animals in winter.

This doesn't mean I don't like animals. I do like most of them, just not enough to want them as pets.

What's your style of fake pet?

Instead, I'm interested in virtual pets, digital pets, artificial pets and assorted other pretend pets who are low maintenance and inexpensive. Tamagotchi, robot pets, Virtual Petz, vintage pet rocks, and others in that theme and genre. Do you remember Fur Real Friends, doesn't seem that long ago they were the new thing and yet I haven't heard them promoted for years. They were cute, and mechanically inclined.

Do you know where your pet rock is?

I did have a pet rock, long ago when they were the fad. I don't think mine was an official pet rock. Mom did buy one with the whole kit, the box and all. But, some how all four of us had a pet rock but there was only one box. She did wash them all first, she was fairly clever that way.

Do you like online virtual pet games?

I've played with several of the online game type of virtual pets. The interest wears off after awhile. Most of the sites push you for money. You can't feel you really have a pet you want to keep around if you keep getting badgered to spend more money on something that doesn't really exist.

The virtual pet I'd pick is a robotic cat.

Something sort of cute, sort of pretty but not in the made for children way. A cat that could double as an attack cat would be fun and a great conversation starter too.

Really, a robotic dragon, but... they don't seem to exist yet.

You can have a virtual pet shark. You can have an inflatable pet shark which swims along in the air. You can have a pet robot shark which swims in water too. Or, you can own an exotic pet and set up a real aquarium with real, living, sharks. Of course, only the very big aquariums in zoos and other displays for the public or inside a corporate office with an unlimited budget, will have large sharks. However, a large shark isn't really a pet. An animal that could eat it's owner (due to a lack of inhibitions or respect for our place in the food chain) is not a pet. Not really.

A nice thing about keeping a pet shark, or several of them, is just watching them swim around. Some how it is very relaxing (almost like meditating) to watch fish swim around. They don't seem to be doing much. It's all fairly repetitive. If you keep a pet shark all they can really do is swim circles around whatever space they have. Swimming laps over and over and over. It must be an awfully dull life for them.

I don't like seeing the small sharks for sale in pet stores. I wonder how many of them die before they are sold to anyone. I'm sure the pet store just keep them to attract shoppers on the weekends they schedule feeding time for the shark(s).

I don't really think sharks should be pets, kept in a tank of water. I don't think any tank is really big enough - unless it's massive enough to create a whole marine or ocean type of environment. There is something ugly about seeing a shark bump into the side of a glass fish tank. So, I'm only keeping the virtual shark pet. Virtual shark pets miss you when you travel and will be there when you get back, still alive (or you can just restart your game).

Once upon a time I added some pet links to my column and some pet links to this newsletter. Other than that I'm not in favour of pets.

I do like animals, I've supported cats. Never say you have kept or owned cats. We all know that's just a myth. But, I've supported cats, fed them, built them shelters they usually ignored, that sort of stuff. My cats lived outside all year round. Most of them were feral so it suited us both just fine. If I had bags of money to get rid of I would start a program to catch and neuter/ spay feral cats. I think the Humane Society means well but they just miss the point. Being choosy about good homes is never going to help wind down the unwanted pet population. Better to go with the Chinese method and eat them than to store them in tiny cages and then kill them when space gets too tight. At least eat them, it's the natural process. Costs less too.

Anyway, now that I've offended, disgusted and sickened everyone, in one way or another, let's get on with the discussion of pets.

I don't think people should keep pets. The odd family dog is ok, if you have the space. Having the space is vital. Dogs needs space, they need places to drool, bark and do all those other annoying dog things. Bet you never would guess I'm not quite a dog person, eh?

But, keeping several dogs and topping that off with cats, fish, birds, reptiles and rodents is taking things way too far. You are not a zoo! I've never really seen this set up work well for the people or the animals. It's just not healthy for people and animals to share the same home. The pioneers did it cause they had to. The livestock helped keep the cabin warm and in turn the livestock had a better chance of surviving to feed the family come Spring. But, we moved on from there, right? I seriously think anyone with more than one pet should be looking for space to build a barn. If only for the smell situation!

Then, we come to those exotic pets. Let's just say NO! and leave it at that.

Animals should have their space to be wild, free and in constant danger of being eaten by each other. It's how things work in nature. People should leave it alone, it worked much better before we started keeping pets. Ugh! Pet keeping is one of my little pet peeves.