What else would you call the anniversary of your wedding once you have been divorced? If Alice in Wonderland can have an UnBirthday, I can have an UnWedding Anniversary. So today I did. I was married on December 14th, some year or other. It was a snowy day in a small Illinois town.

Today was another December 14th, not a flake of snow to be found in a large Canadian city. Being in a city has it’s perks on a day like today. I had a bus pass in my pocket, a map in my purse and the city at my feet - for as long as I cared to keep moving. I began by doing what I had done years ago: a long hot shower, some time to pamper myself and a little breakfast. I decided not to shave my legs or wear my wedding attire because this is my day and I’m not out to impress anyone.

There were so many things I thought about doing: a luxurious lunch out, a movie, a trip to the museum, even a bit of retail therapy, but I’m on a tight budget and didn’t want to be out too late and come home in the cold and dark. So I had a fancy coffee, bought chocolates and a lottery ticket. On the way home I gave a homeless woman a donation. I thought about buying myself things I don’t really need. But, I was happy having a day out and feeling kind of pampered and pretty. It was a good hair day and just enough wind to enjoy the sport of hair flipping. Maybe next year I’ll have more adventures.

I keep a blog, called That Blog, on Blogsome which is a free host for WordPress. I have my site, which has become a fixer upper, though I had so many great plans and I was even keeping up with it all for a few months. Then I decided to learn CSS and change all my pages. Well, the front page is done... that's about it so far.

I'm dating John, sort of. We began emailing after meeting through Toronto Craigslist personals. But we have not met yet. Things have gotten in the way. He is moving, I am going the entrepreneur route, he is job hunting, I am thinking about taking a web design course since the entrepreneur route is hard on the bank account, etc. I really like this guy though so I hope it works out. That would be a first. But, isn't that the point? If you find a good one you don't keep looking.

Well here we are, another Saturday morning.

Saturday morning was a lot more exciting when I was a kid. There were cartoons and my Mom would make a big breakfast. Whatever she felt like whipping up: pancakes, bacon and eggs, fruit salad, omelettes, sausages, French toast, red river cereal, scrambled eggs, bagels, cinnamon buns and just about anything you can imagine as breakfast food. Sometimes something quite fancy and sometimes just a bowl of anonymous flakes in milk. I appreciate it much more now. All those breakfasts in our sunny kitchen on Rouge Hills Drive, West Hill, Ontario. That was a long time ago.

I still really like going out for breakfast, when someone else does the cooking and the cleaning up. Living alone I don't get inspired to whip up anything for breakfast. I would make pancakes and bacon and eggs and French toast and such when I was married. Until things go not so nice. Then I didn't bother, didn't even bother to get up to be with him, let alone cook for him. I ate ice cream when I got up. Not a great plan I have to warn you.

Anyway, that's what Saturday morning makes me think of. All those mornings in our cosy house and having breakfast together at the table. Being called away from the TV, which was not that interesting anyway. Mom liked to have conversation so we always blabbed about something or other. Sometimes she had a plan for the day or the weekend. She was a firm believer in unplanned plans though. We might go to the flea market in Pickering but end up on a road trip to Niagara Falls instead. There were weekend visits to the Grandparents in Woodstock. Two hours was just borderline distance with four kids in a car. We had a big van for awhile, that gave each of us our own bench. It was pretty cool to stretch out or find some other way to take up all your available space. I had books and a little sister. I could have suggested she go somewhere else but I didn't mind. Sometimes I had my other sister, taking refuge from my brother. They always competed, over everything. But he was closer to my age and had advantages. That didn't stop her from trying to win. She was "Queen of Stubborn", relentless to the point of craziness.

So those were Saturday mornings ages ago. Now I'm just being lazy. I should/ could be working on something practical and necessary and important. Maybe some part of my brain is waiting for breakfast, to come to the table and chat about what we might do today. Too bad it's noon now. If I make a fresh coffee maybe I can fool myself into self discipline.

Or I could get dressed. Wearing your pajamas till after noon on a Saturday morning is not a sign of a productive day. But, it was fun when we were kids. I don't want to go back, not at all. It's nice to have memories but you have to keep making new ones to go with the part of your life you're living in now.

It's only been a few days, but I have met someone I like, online. I think this guy can even handle all my wickedness, my craziness and all the other random stuff. Maybe even my tendency to skim. Could there be such among mortal man? We will see. I'm starting to look forward to his test drive.

Being wicked is fun! It should be a flavour of ice cream.

It makes me laugh, in an annoyed way, the way people say they want honesty. Anyone who begins by telling you how honesty is important to them is full of pond scum. Each experience I have had with these honest people has been full of dishonesty, from them. Men lie about their age, as if that's something they can get away with indefinitely. Women may lie about their weight but that's only cause men are so shallow and self centred that they can't look at a woman as a real person. They treat women like disposable sex toys. No need to let her know they aren't interested after all, just ignore her and she'll go away like any good sex toy. I am so fed up with this. If a guy doesn't have the balls to say "thanks but no thanks" he should stick to sex toys of the rubber kind and not involve himself with real women at all. Obviously we are too much for him to handle. He's much better just handling himself.

Comments

dakitty

Who's ass do we need to kick?

Sounds like the same old story, but with a new guy sigh

These types don't even treat women as well as they do their sex toys -- they care for their toys needs (clean them, give them new batteries) & likely talk nicer to them too :P

me

Oddly enough it was three different ones, all in a row. Two guys and one woman. I'm trying a new approach to the whole dating thing. No more online. The real men must be somewhere else.

dakitty

"Two guys and one woman."

Have you err, opened up more on the 'whole dating thing' than I suspected? Or is this another issue, not related to dating?

As for dating online, you know I got lucky here. But then it wasn't at a dating site. Perhaps if you are just spending time as non-dating sites, you might find yourself in a more natural way of 'running into someone' who has similar interests -- real interests, not some he typed in to look good (or younger lol)

Just my 2 cents :)

me

No, the woman was a dating thing. Not my idea, I was surprised. I wrote straight in my profile. But, you know how curious I am. How could I resist an invitation to see her when she said she had a whole dungeon. She didn't really ask anything about me, she just assumed. Then, when I couldn't meet her the next day she forgot about me. Just as well, it probably would have been a bit too odd even for me. Though I'm still curious and have begun to write a story around the whole thing.

The new plan is to find a local group of people (men and women) who are doing something like digital photography, website building, SOMETHING where the men have to take their hands out of their pants and look up once in awhile.

PS- I found a new book yesterday. I don't buy new often but I loved the title and then the general idea too. No doubt it will be more fuel for the writing.

"The Future Widows Club" by Rhonda Nelson. I'm going to BookCrossing it tonight. Thinking to toss BookCrossing as it's not much use in the outback of Ontario. No one picks up my books. Though I have traded with a couple of other women at work, only one has joined the site so far.

dakitty

SOMETHING where the men have to take their hands out of their pants and look up once in awhile

LOL

But it is a good point!