I am soon to be 60 and not particularly feeling social and yet I am now and then at the odd moment. Not quite sure how that works. I look after my Mother full time, she is 80 and still mostly doing for herself but not able to walk and get errands and every day things done as she used to. Although its terrible to say, she is narcissistic and I've become what they call (I think) a grey rock. 

I got the membership/pass for the Barrie bus, the one that picks people up at their home. But, I haven't used it yet. I planned to go mall walking for exercise. But, between not wanting to go out and be around people much and then dealing with my Mother I just am not getting out for anything of my own interests. I used to have a lot of interests and I still do but most of them are gathering dust on shelves or have been thrown out by family who say I'm a hoarder. I feel more that I am hanging on than hoarding. 

Anyway, I thought a virtual online thing would be a start. I could just listen or participate here and there but still be doing something, sort of at my own pace. I must sound like a shut in lunatic but I don't feel that way. No doubt this is far, far, far more than you need to know. I don't talk much but I love to write. :)

About me:

From Ontario, Canada volunteer with Ontario Barn Preservation urban (rural) exploration photographer web producer: writer, editor, content creator, promoter, and moderator for my own sites and others ASCII artist (see above image) solitary, eclectic Witch writer of old fashioned handwritten letters sent by snail mail previously a candystriper (hospital volunteer) previously a cashier/ customer service clerk for a large Canadian retail chain

Studied Corporate Communications at Centennial College Warden Woods Campus

I wear glasses, also known as spectacles. This year I am aged 55 years and still a woman. People, some of them, think women don't explore. Those people are misled. I am surprised when someone is surprised that I still get out and explore, photographing old places, mainly in rural Ontario. Although, other than Toronto, a lot of Ontario seems fairly rural, or has melded into a suburb of Toronto.

I grew up in a Toronto suburb. Originally, it was a lot of trees and water and some animals, well before that it was all a lot of gas. How far back do you want to go? Less long ago, it was a town, village, called Port Union. Scarborough absorbed it. I was never happy about that. Even as a child I didn't like seeing history lost. I doubt many people now living there know it used to be Port Union. I don't count, because I don't live there any more. After the high school years I moved around. I have lived all over southern Ontario and visited most of the rest of it. I also lived in the US and the Dominican Republic for awhile. Different culture experiences. I would still like to visit more of the world but - when you're young you don't have the money and when you have the money you have somehow become old and less inclined to venture afar.

But, I still do, in my own way. Always, in my own way.

This site will display my photographs, experiences, discoveries and ideas current, ongoing and as far back as I can still find photographs I have taken.

This is from my old Live Journal posts.

Hello again LiveJournal and LiveJournal people. I have just (yesterday afternoon) gotten home from giving up my home so my Mom and brother could have time self quarantined after coming back from the US. I was away a month, mostly because my niece and I like working, cooking and having some fun together. I stayed at my sister's house. Now I'm back, in Barrie, where my brother and Mother have ransacked their way through everything I own, every least bit of paper, literally everything. Boundaries and privacy do not exist here. When I was a girl I wished for a lobotomy to make my life easier. Now I'm a 55 year old woman and I know none of them will ever read this so I can say that I almost wish I were dead. Not quite enough to die. What little spark is still in my head that just will not entirely, fully give up? I don't know why I keep going when I have almost nothing, but I do. Well, LiveJournal, I don't know when I will be back, but most likely I will be back, eventually. If not... well, what did any of it really matter.

I come from a family where they say, "If I can take it why would I buy it?" This is why I seldom trust anyone and I have tried to find every sneaky angle that can be used against me any time I have to rely on someone else. I do not like being tricked or robbed.

The real irony is that one half of my family were law breakers and the other half law makers. I'm sure there have always been people who jumped the fence, on either side. In my case, I'm more of a law maker who does not entirely trust or respect authority.

This whole thing drives me crazy when it comes to selling anything, like art, online. It is all too easy to rip off. Everything I look at is very flawed. Even if I did go ahead and try it anyway my family will be telling that it isn't going to make any money. Most of them have been in sales. But they don't give me help with selling anything, just insist that everything online is free for the taking.

I think its hopeless. But I keep trying, or sort of trying. It's how I live most of my life.

"How will it make any money?" You have no idea how irritating, to the point of near insanity, that question is after all these years. Why does everything have to be about money? Money, and people are two things I would like not to have. Money, in the way of not needing it by having enough that I don't have to care about it. People, in the way of not having to have them around.

More people seem to be developing this kind of allergic reaction to people. How long will it take before the only time we communicate is through electronics, not face to face? I don't own/ have a mobile phone. Almost everyone else around me has one, or more. I'm not a phone person. Just hearing it ring (the house phone) makes me cringe. But, I laugh (out loud even) at the progress of mobile phones.

From an actual phone to texting only now. Texting, is just a more expensive way to send an email. I'm never going to be addicted to a mobile phone, or any other phone. I'm too happy to not have anyone contacting me. Twitter works. It's silent and I can look at it, or not. Undemanding.

But, I still don't know how I am going to sell my art online. I don't think I am ever going to find a way to avoid having it stolen. I don't have the social skills, or the liking for them, to be a great sales person for myself.

"How will it make any money?"  I can feel myself on a Medieval stretching wrack, pulled tighter and tighter. If not for that sound track, could I manage to actually get somewhere? I will never know, not likely.

My family are all very stubborn, in their ways. Mine is that I can not seem to just give up, no matter how many times I say that I am.