Tomorrow is pay day and I will have money again. What a miserable invention is money. Having to count your needs by a dollar value and having to work so many hours to make so few dollars. What sadist came up with this scheme and why do we all make ourselves continue to follow it.

I've already put aside two pairs of pants and one new nightie that I will buy tomorrow before I start work. The pants are both marked down to $10 from being $25 when they came in stock around Christmas. So those are a good deal. I just don't want to think about how many hours I had to work to make $20. The nightie I need because most of mine are silky things left over from the marriage that never grew. It's time I got myself something new and not completely practical. OK, the computer games aren't exactly practical and maybe the nightie is more practical than any of those but... I'm the one making the rules here.

I found an email list for other Tempo owners. I posted a question about my possibly leaking gas tank. Hope someone has something constructive or informative to say about it. Now that Spring is getting closer I would like to get taking more road trips. Its nice to start out with a full tank of gas rather than half full and wondering if I should stay close to towns for the next refill or dare I wander at will. I'd rather wander at will. Getting lost, getting sidetracked and having no worries.

I'm not tired of Winter exactly. I'm just sick of being cold. It's ok when I'm outside, brushing off the car, shoveling off the path or walking around just cause that's what I choose to do. But, I'm really getting sick of being cold all the time inside the house.

We have electric heating. It's expensive and since each room is on it's own heater you don't heat the whole house. Instead you choose which rooms you will keep livable. In my case I've pretty much kept that to the bedroom. So, the rest of the house is freezing and I'm sick of it.

I want to be warm. I'm warm when I go out somewhere, even if that means going in to work an hour early. Mostly I'm warm sitting here in my bedroom, in front of the computer.

Really, if it wasn't for things like eating, washing clothes and actually going to work, I could just hibernate right here until Spring. Would that be so bad? Now that I think about it... I could save all kinds of money. No need to shave, brush my hair, or even my teeth, just sit right here and be extremely frugal. If I gave up eating I'd be thin by Spring. This idea is sounding better all the time.

But, I don't think I could really stand it. For one thing I'd have a raging case of cabin fever. For another, I like being clean, or at least cleanish. I'm not a fanatic about it. No one is every going to mistake me for Miss Perfectly Groomed.

Plus, in the long run, I'd become a complete Internet addict. Probably a recluse or hermit type person. Or maybe one of those oracle types who people come to for great advice and my powers to see into the future and the past and understand and know all things. Yeah, that would be kind of cool.

I have to go to work on Tuesday. I'll just be a recluse oracle till then.

I logged in to post something. But, my brain is sleeping and I can't remember what I was going to post.

Outside we are getting freezing rain. I wish I had gone out today, earlier. The weather people were blabbing about freezing rain all day and it was clear. It started after dark and now I don't think I want to risk going out tomorrow. Though I had planned to, due to not going out today, wary of all that doom and gloom from the weather people.

Life is a circle.

Nightie night.

I'm a wallflower in disguise. What's a wallflower? The word is old fashioned but lovely, I've always thought. A wallflower is a shy or unpopular woman who sits alone, by the wall, at social occasions and events. A flower on the wall. That's me but you wouldn't know it. I've learned all kinds of clever disguises.

I pretend you see. I pretend I'm not intimidated by everyone. I pretend I'm just as normal as everyone else. But, I know I'm pretending. Now and then I forget, or I choose to forget. But then reality creeps in and I remember that I'm really just a wallflower, quite out of her natural element.

Someday this might make a good topic for Bewitching Vagabond. Not tonight though, I've got to be up early for work.

There's a wallflower song. I don't think I've ever heard it. I like the words.

Wallflower, wallflower Won't you dance with me? I'm sad and lonely too. Wallflower, wallflower Won't you dance with me? I'm fallin' in love with you.

Just like you I'm wondrin' what I'm doin' here. Just like you I'm wondrin' what's goin' on.

Wallflower, wallflower Won't you dance with me? The night will soon be gone.

I have seen you standing in the smoky haze And I know that you're gonna be mine one of these days, Mine alone.

Wallflower, wallflower Take a chance on me. Please let me ride you home.

Bob Dylan

Added a new phrase to my Adult column. "A wallflower in disguise." It's so perfect. Cute even.