This is from my old Live Journal posts.

I have a new short hair cut, I don't like it. I miss my hair. It's too short to tie it up or clip it up or anything but let it hang where it may. I feel like I'm carrying a sleeping dog around on top of my head.

It doesn't help that I turned 42 at the end of 2006 and today I am at the very bottom of my coffee supplies. At least I can fix the coffee thing. I really do think this is as old as I should have to get now. I look ok still. I am just starting to wrinkle. The grey hairs are at the point where they are annoying but not yet really frustrating. I'd like to lose pounds but that I can do, being 42 doesn't especially make that a problem. Being 52 might and ten years doesn't seem like all that much when I consider I've lived four brackets of ten years so far and I don't feel I've really been around all that long. Just think of everything going on in the world, in the present and the past. I really will be ticked off when I die cause I won't see the future and all the changes and inventions to come. What a rip off! It's like starting a great book but having the writer tell you he isn't letting you read past the halfway point. Someone really should do something about that.

Comment from sheherazahde

![Hi,

I saw that you are the main Wicca writer for Suite101.

I do most of my journaling on LJ. and I didn't see how to get a feed from Blogger to LJ so I just friended your LJ.

We seem to a lot in common, I thought I would check you out for a while.]()

I feel like some kind of spook today, something creepy and possibly scary kept in a secret room, away from the living.

That's what happens when you live in a hole in the ground with a family of elephants, gorillas, etc over your head all day and all night and all weekend. I'm trying hard to like it here. This weekend they are putting in the new floor that was supposed to be done last weekend when I went away so I could escape the noise. They saved it for me, how kind.

They also want, no expect, me to give them a key to my apartment. The power box thing is down here and if they need to shut off a breaker or whatever they would need to get in here. How often does something like that happen? Hmmm? Not bloody often. I said no. Of course, that wasn't the right answer. You're not actually allowed to say no, have you ever noticed that? I'm sticking to my keys though. I'm not giving away something I waited for this long, a place of my own. Even though I don't feel like this is a place of my own. You can't feel that way when the elephants decide to rampage above you day and night. I don't know what they were stomping around for at 2:30 last night. I wanted to go up there and scream at them. I didn't.

I want to scream at them about so many things. They have finished blocking up my only window now. I have one in the bedroom but I don't count that as I only see it at night. In the day I have one window, small and now totally blocked by garbage so almost no light comes in. If I was a bitch I'd probably go out and buy duct tape and carboard sheets and use a ladder to seal off all their windows. I'd like to do that. It makes me feel happy just thinking about their surprise.

I think I am only staying here because they offered to buy the house and as long as I'm here they can't. Graham won't sell if he thinks I'm trying to do here. Though, it hangs over my head all the time that it's up to him. I don't really have any options. He changes his mind frequently. Saying one thing on Tuesday and something else on Wednesday.

If you have never lived in a basement before you don't know what it's like. I always thought the worst thing would be dampness. It's not. I can hear their conversation. I can hear their every step, right over my head. It's dark and I have spiders and wood louse bugs, not a huge lot of them just enough to remind me I'm in the lower realms. I have lights on all the time cause it would be almost fully dark without them. Unless I look at a clock I have no idea what time of day it is, could be morning, afternoon or evening for all I know, they all look the same.

Of course, I'm using this space to rant. Don't think I'm looking for sympathy or violins. I need to tell someone and believe someone is listening, what else are personal blogs for?

What would your most vindictive, bitchy torture be for the people upstairs? Give me your most evil, devious and wicked ideas?

What else would you call the anniversary of your wedding once you have been divorced? If Alice in Wonderland can have an UnBirthday, I can have an UnWedding Anniversary. So today I did. I was married on December 14th, some year or other. It was a snowy day in a small Illinois town.

Today was another December 14th, not a flake of snow to be found in a large Canadian city. Being in a city has it’s perks on a day like today. I had a bus pass in my pocket, a map in my purse and the city at my feet - for as long as I cared to keep moving. I began by doing what I had done years ago: a long hot shower, some time to pamper myself and a little breakfast. I decided not to shave my legs or wear my wedding attire because this is my day and I’m not out to impress anyone.

There were so many things I thought about doing: a luxurious lunch out, a movie, a trip to the museum, even a bit of retail therapy, but I’m on a tight budget and didn’t want to be out too late and come home in the cold and dark. So I had a fancy coffee, bought chocolates and a lottery ticket. On the way home I gave a homeless woman a donation. I thought about buying myself things I don’t really need. But, I was happy having a day out and feeling kind of pampered and pretty. It was a good hair day and just enough wind to enjoy the sport of hair flipping. Maybe next year I’ll have more adventures.

Zack is back. Yesterday Zack hurt his back and head while playing at the park. He jumped off the swing while it was at a high point. He landed badly, luckily it was on sand. This morning he was sore and stiff and needed help getting out of bed. I helped him. Then I called his Mother and then the school. I spent my day taking him down to Newmarket to get his health card and then take him to the doctor for a check over. He was fine, just sore. I knew that by then. But it’s good to have a professional opinion about some of these things.

While we were in Newmarket I bought more coffee. I like Zavida for the Cinnamon Cream and Caramel Royale. Not everyone likes the flavoured coffee. My Mom says its sickening and I have begun trying to make coffee when she isn’t around. Just so I don’t have to listen to her.

It’s my brother’s birthday today, he’s 40. At least I’m not the only one to hit that mark now. I took him some plants: white scabiosa and prickly pear cactus. Also, a jar of spicy hot salsa. Things he likes. He came over to InPlay (Sarah’s entertainment complex) and had free pinball with Sarah and Zack and Sarah made a spicy pizza for all of us for lunch.

Now we are back here. Zack has just left with Grandma for a swim in the salt water pool near the house. I can make my new coffee.

I keep a blog, called That Blog, on Blogsome which is a free host for WordPress. I have my site, which has become a fixer upper, though I had so many great plans and I was even keeping up with it all for a few months. Then I decided to learn CSS and change all my pages. Well, the front page is done... that's about it so far.

I'm dating John, sort of. We began emailing after meeting through Toronto Craigslist personals. But we have not met yet. Things have gotten in the way. He is moving, I am going the entrepreneur route, he is job hunting, I am thinking about taking a web design course since the entrepreneur route is hard on the bank account, etc. I really like this guy though so I hope it works out. That would be a first. But, isn't that the point? If you find a good one you don't keep looking.