Note: Online dating was a really tough time for me. Just after my divorce from the man I had thought was my "best friend" who turned into a nightmare. I'm not exaggerating by a lot. I was not physically beaten but emotionally and mentally torn down and discarded. Only to be (bad word inserted here) over again twenty years after the divorce when he said he wasn't apologizing for anything, after giving me the highlights I already knew and saying he wasn't a great husband. He also let me know he was talking/ seeing other women while we were married. Until then, I had thought that was at least one thing he did not do while we were married. Considering we lived in a one bedroom apartment, I guess I should have suspected more when he stayed up into the night on his computer.

So, I'm still feeling pretty bruised up by it all. Rehashing it 20 years later has not helped. I never did find someone new. I guess it is just as well. I don't know if I could have, or really wanted to try it again. Anyway, yes, the below list is a bit rough on men, but at the time I read it and reposted it, I needed a few laughs. Yes, its at their expense but my whole marriage was at my expense, literally and figuratively.

This is from my old Live Journal posts, about 2005.

Pampurred

15 PIECES OF ADVICE TO BE PASSED ON TO YOUR MOM, YOUR DAUGHTERS OR GRANDDAUGHTERS, NIECES, AUNTS, GIRLFRIENDS, ETC.

1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.

2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.

3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.

4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.

5. Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never mature anyway.

6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.

7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

9. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.

10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.

13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.

14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.

15. Sadly, all men are created equal.

Send this to 10 Bright Women to make their day!

Comments

dakitty -

Cute!

I'm really just 'here' to say howdy... It's been a while... What are you up to? (Isn't that what blogs are for, to tell people what's been keeping you busy? lol)

me -

I am keeping busy or pretending to fairly well. The car needs repairs, nothing new there. I am waiting to hear back from various editors. Not news there either. I've stopped the whole online dating process, just got fed up with men in general. I don't think it's really possible for men over 35 to really connect with a woman. We want a companion and they want a battery operated sex toy.

Overall I'm doing ok, still living in chaos and having moments of bliss just to show them all I'm still doing it my way. Bite me. :)

itsdarkatnight -

I'm sure you won't agree, but women are much better, Hon. ;) It's never too late to start looking at women instead of males. :P lol

Liked your post. It was hilarious. :D

-Laura

There is something sad about checked (losing) lottery tickets. All the possibilities are gone from them and they are just bits of paper, outlasting their usefulness. I put off checking my tickets so I can think of all the things I will do if I win. It's great to have that little fantasy. But, once you check the tickets you have to let go of all of that.

Right now I have five tickets to check. I wanted to make sure to check them before I move. I'm not sure if it would be a problem to collect winnings if I'm not officially living in the US, or even the state of Illinois. So I am going to the Illinois State Lottery site to check them. They are not too old, from the past couple of months. It would be so nice to win...

I would first of all tell Todd we need to take a long weekend trip to collect the loot. Todd says it's over in some town by the Missouri border, near St. Louis. So that could turn into a nice trip before the divorce is a done deal. Once I have the money I would put it into my Union Planters bank account, all but for $20,000 or so which I would use to buy a truck for moving and travel expenses including insurance for the truck. That way I could pack up the truck and just let Mom know I'm on my way up there without needing to wait and wonder any more. It would be so nice to have the drive up to Canada myself. I could take my time too, dawdle a bit, have a look at the Raggedy Ann museum in Arcola and wander up north to see Wisconsin before I cross the border. Wisconsin looked nice when I was chatting to a guy from there last month. It didn't work out with him but I still wouldn't mind the drive up there at all.

The rest of the money would go into travel, a house of my own (maybe the first place that I could really feel was my home) and of course savings so I could keep payments for electricity, taking some college courses, my eventual old age and etc. I would give money to family if I won a really big amount. Other wise I would be more careful about that and make sure I was ok first. I'd love to never have to worry about that whole bag lady thing. I could just freelance write without listening to family telling me I'm wasting my time.

Well, now I should check those tickets. It's nice thinking of what if but you have to come back down to reality. Walking around with your head in the clouds is a sure way to stub your toes.

"If you can get people to ask the wrong questions; they'll never find the right answers." - Thomas Pynchon

"The devil himself gets in my inkstand." - Nathanial Hawthorne

Heard on the Montel Williams show...

"There is no such thing as love at first sight. You don't see love, you feel it." Montel Williams.

... and you probably thought I didn't watch trash TV. Montel is probably upper scale trash but he takes advantage of people's pain to make a buck, even though he does try to help get the message out about some issues. Here, the Maury Povich show comes on right after Montel, I turn that off, I can't stand it any more.

"Success comes to a writer as a rule, so gradually that it is always something of a shock to him to look back and realize the heights to which he has climbed." P.G. Wodehouse

"I have never thought of myself as a good writer. Anyone who wants reassurance of that should read one of my first drafts. But I'm one of the world's greatest rewriters." James A. Michener.

"In composing, as a general rule, run a pen through every other word you have written, you have no idea what vigor it will give your style." Sydney Smith

"Only a mediocre writer is always at his best." Maugham

"There is no great writing, only great rewriting." Justice Brandela

"It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous." Robert Charles Benchley

"Writing is like prostitution. First you do it for love, and then for a few close friends, and then for money." Moliere

"Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other." Ann Landers

"A room without books is like a body without a soul." Cicero

The Writer - Another even older blog.

Writing and publishing online and still putting in time on my regularly scheduled life.

I was born in the Year of the Dragon, more than a few years ago. 2000 was another year of the Dragon, in December I married Todd, moved to the US and became an expatriate. Spirit of the Night

I work as a freelance writer online and in print. My favourite colour is deep, dark red. When I'm having a bad day going outdoors always makes me feel better. I'm reading the same book I started 6 months ago: Sarum by Edward Rutherfurd. I'm not especially musically inclined, I can turn on the radio and be happy leaving it in the background.

Another old site from my blogging history.

ThatBlog A wallflower in disguise. ASCII artist, Earth Witch, Canadian freelance writer.

At that time I also had my editor profile on Dmoz:

I'm a Canadian freelance writer and columnist, personal blogger and ASCII artist. I started online in July of 1996. I've been a Dmoz editor since November, 1998. HerCorner, for women writers, opened January 1st, 2002.

When I get away from the computer I like to travel (backpacking), sew (crazy quilting), garden (wildflowers and herbs), take long walks and enjoy the outdoors. I like to read about history, art and science.

The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper. --Eden Phillpotts

Life hasn't always smiled on me, but I have always smiled on life. --Raoul Dufy

My profile on GoGuides (didn't last as long as Dmoz)

GoGuide since: 03 September 2002 Profile: Web developer, publisher and writer. ASCII artist. My favourite things are the outdoors, crafts, history, writing and exploring endlessly.

I was using my married name, Laura Tripp. That didn't last long either.

In all my time thinking I would have a husband, I never thought I would have an ex-husband.