What? She’s writing about dating again… Yes, she (I mean) I am. Not for any good or useful purpose. I’m not going to change the world though I humour myself and keep right on trying.

Today let’s talk about online dating etiquette. For one thing, spelling does count and punctuation does matter. I know a lot of guys (my own brother included) who write email that could have been typed by a four year old, or someone really lazy/ sloppy/ careless. Keeping in mind that this email is making your first impression, do you want to appear like a drooling idiot? I’ve come to a new conclusion actually. Men don’t care. They somehow feel dating is like flipping through a catalogue and women are just on order. This is why I’m pretty much finished with online dating but for entertainment purposes.

The other biggie in online dating etiquette is not ignoring people, deliberately. If someone sends you a reply but they don’t sound perfect enough don’t ignore them. That’s just so obnoxious. People who do this should be kept in cages with the other primates and not allowed to socialize at all. I don’t mind (too much) if someone isn’t interested in me due to my eye colour, odd hobbies or the plus sized aspect. But, have the humanity to say “thanks, but no thanks” in some nice way.

People who use no etiquette at all make dating a hell for all of us. Of course, it’s not just men who do this. (So I keep hearing men claim). Good luck. But, honestly, don’t look for the love of your life online. Join BookCrossing or something where real people meet in a group when it’s not about dating. You’re far more likely to find someone that way, when you and they least suspect it.

I know a group of useless men who will answer any question you email them. I like to come up with questions for them. Some real, some in fun but I would really like to find a question that just totally stops them in their tracks. That question that even the Useless Men and One Useful Gal finally just can’t dig up an answer for. It’s a challenge.

I’ve sent in relationship puzzles, current events and of course female questions. They handle them all, some better than others. What would you ask? Can you be the one to come up with the show stopping question to beat all questions? Give it a try, send them an email.

I don't think you can really be a writer unless you are also an avid people watcher. I really like to sit with a coffee and watch the people around me. I don't write stories for them, I just observe and come to my own conclusions about who they are, what they think and feel. Do they seem tired, grumpy, cheery, clever, amused, interesting, rushed or laid back? Are they well dressed or a bit too casual? Does that hair style really suit them? You can go on forever.

What things do you see that cause you to decide who someone is, on one sighting alone? I think the way they dress, their body language and how their face, are big first impression tip offs. Next time you are people watching consider the first three things you notice about people. Do you notice different things than I do?

Do you write that way? When you describe a character do you write about them as if they were someone you just saw at the mall, in the parking lot at work or wherever you happen to be writing them. Do you give details about their appearance, body language and facial expressions?

Have you ever written about a stranger you watched somewhere? Try it. Give yourself a challenge and write in a different venue than your usual. If you write fiction try poetry, if you write non-fiction try fiction and so on. Go nuts and write a greeting card just for them!

Most of all, keep watching those passers by, you never know when they will become inspiration.

Writing Exercise: Write yourself a letter to be opened one year from now. What goals do you have now? What do you hope to accomplish in the coming year? How are you feeling about yourself as a writer? Tell your future self something you want to remember a year from now.

I don't know who originally came up with this and I doubt I have it exactly right, but here is a quote from "An American in Canada" a TV show on CBC TV.

The rich person is not the one who has the most, but the one who needs the least.

I really like that.