If someone (your finance himself, not his family) is saying he hates you, pretty much blames you for what is happening, claims you do not support him when you feel you are doing your best... GET OUT!!! Save yourself. IF it works out for him - then - he can choose to come back to you. Meanwhile, you can not save him. This is something he can only do by himself, for himself. You can try to martyr yourself but NO ONE will thank you for it. Get out now, get your life back. This path is not at all sustainable for you. Save yourself! Give all your care to someone who wants it, wants YOU. You can not save this man. He is not even being nice or appreciating you. Yes, it will be very hard to leave, to break away from your past with him but for your own future you need to remove yourself from a situation that is likely to get worse. The only part of this you can control is YOU! Do yourself a favour, don't hang on hoping, get out before you feel even more grief and sadness. Having typed all that, I'm not expecting you will take my advice but I really hope you do, can. You can not save a man from himself, you can only save yourself and that is hard enough to do.

Wrote this comment to a woman on Facebook who thinks she can save a man she was set to marry (somehow). He is now very likely to die of liver failure due to alcohol abuse over many years. He is telling her he hates her, blaming her for where he is in his life, etc. You likely know the drill.

Will she save herself and get out from under this bad relationship? Not much chance is there. Women, some women, think they owe the world a favour, try to save people (especially men), and hopefully will at least live to regret it. Not all of them get out of these situations alive.

I think you can't save yourself from an abusive relationship without FIRST stopping your own self abuse. People/ women need to see their own self abuse in this and stop it. Women who flock to this kind of abuse are really abusing themselves. It is a very bad choice. Make a different one.

Whatever happened to The Prize Queen (Jennifer Valentyne) at CityTV in Toronto? She's now a content creator, previously a television personality and Toronto Argonauts cheerleader.

Described as a "Mom who loves home decor, cooking, entertaining & making people smile." She also has a Mother Daughter Date podcast.

Is there a Canadian television personality you especially remember? I've had so many pop into my mind as I write this but most are Ontario based because that's where I grew up watching TV.

I'm coming to think that caring about things (people, places, things in general) is a weakness. Maybe something like chocolate and the longing for something soothing, smooth and lush. I think that's too poetical. But, its the idea. Somehow we/ I think caring for things will bring me something good back. A feeling of having done well, or right, or good. Making the world a better place - but for who?

Caring for anything seems to be a trap. The things you care for will betray you in some way. Not always deliberately in a straight and easy to see line. But, along the way, your care will trap you and you will be abandoned. The things you care about will be thought useless baggage by others and eventually you will begin to feel let down by all of them. Not their fault, they are just things: books, art, collections, all of those things. The people will stop finding value in your caring and in yourself. You're old and should be invisible. Your care was useful at one time but now you're just in the way, lagging along like a weight, or a duty. The places you care about will go on without you. They will change, grow, die, without anything from you. Caring is costly, you lose power, energy and space.

Does any of this make sense? I don't think it matters because I'm an old woman now and my great super power is invisibility. I care you not.

I wrote this to my nephew just now. I'm editing out a bit about a family member. Not that he is likely to read this anyway. It just feels like the right thing to do.

We still don't have the car fixed. Took it in and they said it was all good, no sign of problem with the brakes. Then we drove it around Barrie for this and that and that light warning about the brakes came on again. So, whatever they, or (edited out), say the brakes are not ok. You have no idea how angry this kind of thing makes me. I keep quiet about it but... people so often fluff off things when someone (me) says there is a problem. Always excuses, reasons, fluff about how its nothing and I don't know what I'm talking about... etc. Urgghhh!!! So, the car is back in again this Monday. Will see if they figure out the problem, this 3rd time around. At least they aren't fluffing it off now that the car (not even a human being!) is telling them there is a problem. I don't know why I'm writing all this to you. You probably think I sound like a twit too.

What if people paid in $ for crimes instead of jail time? Like paying a traffic fine, as an example.

Jail time seems unbalanced for the crime committed and jails are crowded. A murderer gets a few years, insurance fraud gets more than murder, all depending on the randomness of Courts, judges, and expensive lawyers. Eating a person you've just killed on a bus... it happened in Canada and he was out in a few years. I've yet to see anyone murdered come back to life but it seems murder is not all that costly in time. Maybe... it could be counted on a different scale. Cash value instead of time served. It's a start.

I think the old idea of work houses could be brought back. Prisoners work in order to buy their freedom, eventually. I don't see that ever happening these days. Like capital punishment, it isn't likely to come back. (Capital punishment and the death penalty are not the same thing. Young people don't know and assume a lot).

So, just fine them and let the credit agencies nag at them for payment. If its good enough for people who haven't committed a crime, other than getting in debt, why not? A little stress and endless calls from credit agencies always tracking them down, isn't too tough a punishment.

I don't think jail time was ever working as punishment anyway. It was supposed to reform people. How can you really ever reform or punish someone for a crime like murder? Other crimes like assault, robbery, etc. as long as no one was killed. There should be a line somewhere. It gets complicated when you decide if "left for dead" is the same as murder/ killing. I think so. Why should a killer benefit from the luck or determination of someone else to live.

So most criminal activity could be set as a dollar amount payable to the Canadian government (or whatever the local government is). Not as a punishment just a heavy fine. A better deterrent than jail. For one thing it will cost the government less than housing, feeding, entertaining them. Making use of credit agencies means the government won't have to hire extra staff, unless it goes through Canada Revenue, which I guess it must at some point. Of course, payments for crimes will not get any tax credits or refunds. That would be silly.

Maybe the government could collect enough to lower taxes. I just keep finding all kinds of good options for this idea.