Part of getting old seems to be seeing the things you love become extinct. Tea cups and saucers, clocks, books, hand sewing and embroidery, hand written letters, postcards, birthday cards, silver sets, so many things disappearing or becoming unwanted by the younger generations as they come along with new technology.
But, I notice the old things I love still last longer than the new things coming along. Maybe not in purpose but in strength and durability. New technology is made to break and be replaced. Can it be loved like the old things when it isn't made to last? I don't think there is enough time before a new one is needed and the old hits the landfill.
Do you remember BookCrossing? It's been years since I last logged in. Funny that I was thinking of the book which I had last read the last time I was at the site. I couldn't remember the author or the title, but there it was, first on my profile page.
"Second hand books are wild books, homeless books; they have come together in vast flocks of variegated feather, and have a charm which the domesticated volumes of the library lack."
Virginia Woolf
A friend who joined the site with me, Skye Truheart, I have not heard from for many years. Each time I find something, a link to her somewhere, like her old Blogger account, or now this, I try again to find her. No luck. I'm sure I had her name and address to send a Christmas card but I've lost it long ago. I'd like to find her and know she is doing ok.
It's great to 'be there' for a friend. But, what does it mean and how do you do it?
Some days you need a really, great friend. Some days you get to be a really, great friend.
Taking friendship is much easier than giving your friendship. You shouldn't expect anything in return, if you do, it's really not friendship. This is why it's so important to give appreciation and gratitude when you accept friendship.
Being a friend is not easy thing at times. No one can be a perfect friend. We make mistakes, we have our own selfish moments and moments of weakness. Forgive yourself and your friends when we make mistakes, those times we aren't the greatest of best friends. Then look ahead to the next day when we can try again, fix things, talk and make things work out better.
How to be a Great Friend
Never lie to your friend. You can be kind while still being honest.
Respect her opinions. Especially when it comes to dating, value that second opinion.
Balance between listening and talking. Let friends talk about themselves, guilt free and without getting into a one one-upmanship contest.
Work with each other's strong and weak points. Usually one friend is the leader and the other the follower. One is a planner and the other shows up late. Etc.
Cultivate the friendship. Have your inside jokes, your shared past and the things you only do with just that friend.
Don't offer advice too freely. It's often better to wait until asked, or to offer it carefully, just a bit at a time.
Display some affection, reach out and touch a friend, literally.
Don't think short term. Plan to keep the friendship going for the long haul.
Don't be envious or jealous of a friend. Instead be happy for her and proud of her.
Lady Banana selected me and this blog as a Treasured Blogger. The Treasured Blogger idea came from Dancin' Fool as a dedication to a blogger she will miss. I've also had a few people who I came to know through their blogs only to have them disappear one day. It is sad. For some you think of them years later but have no idea how to ever find them again, even if they did start blogging once again.
So thank you to Lady Banana. It really is an honour to be someone who would be missed. I think a lot of us write these personal blogs as a way of being heard, getting some feedback and maybe as a way to feel connected to the world and all the people in it. That isn't something you can always find in the day to day daily grind where people often don't even know their neighbours. It really is more than nice to be a voice out here in the world who would be missed. Thank you to everyone who comes along this way, thanks for listening, even for a short time.
Bloggers that I miss are Happy and Blue (Glenn) and Skye. Skye has a new blog but posts pretty rarely.
Bloggers I would miss if they disappeared would include Lady Banana but she sent me the award so I will mention her but not have her create another list for her blog.
The grrls as I think of us, from my Ontario Rural Ruins group. I'd hugely miss seeing photos from The Navigator, Kate, Lee Ann and msDeKay. Not only do they find great things but they take great photos too.
I only know him as twintam44 on Flickr but I have wondered if he knows b13fotographica, then there are The Useless Men, Terry aka Latte Girl, Debbie Ridpath Ohi, Jade who has the best newsletter with quotes, BevWalton-Porter who has several blogs but I still don't keep in touch as I'd like to, Rainy Pete and others who I have known in the past and lost track of in the now. I hope you know who you are if you wander this way.
