I was peeling carrots and I asked my nephew to get me a kettle to put them into. He said it was a pot. I didn't really care what he wanted to call it. Just get it so I can make dinner. I was visiting at his house, his Mother's house. But he went on about it, correcting me.

In fact, I still don't know which is perfectly correct and I don't very much care. I will still, likely, say pot or kettle and mean the same thing. The word is trivial, the meaning was pretty clear.

But he was hung up on the nuance of pot versus kettle. He was not helping me peel carrots, potatoes or get dinner cooking. Which mattered more? I think he would have figured out the lack of importance in the nuance if he had no dinner.

But, a lot of people seem to get hung up on trivial things, like nuances these days.

I do think the word matters and getting it correct matters, but it depends on the circumstances. There are times when communication needs to be clear, when communication is very important and there are times when you just want something to boil the carrots in.

Although I believe there is a virus and people are sick with it, I don’t believe in the need for lockdowns, shut ins and etc. Most people who have had the virus recovered from it, just like many other flu viruses. You don’t hear about them. We don’t hear about domestic violence caused by people still having access to abused substances while in close confines with the people they abuse. How many people are living a nightmare and would rather take their chances with a virus? We don’t hear about people committing suicide. Virus tallies include people who had the virus but died from other causes, not always related at all.

We are given endless propaganda about staying home for the good of others/ everyone. So we are guilted into obeying. Meanwhile businesses are closed, many will not reopen, jobs are gone. There is talk of roads being closed – for a virus, really? What are we not supposed to see while living under the roof over our heads?

People are trapped at home, dependent on the Internet with all the various spyware from marketers. I’m sure this is a great time for gathering information. What happens when they start using it? Here we are, herded into our cages, waiting and ready for whatever messages they want to imprint in our brains. Marketing has been preying on people for generations, now it’s just gotten so much easier. Being pushed into the lemming mentality makes us all fish in buckets for them.

This extreme panic is for some other reason. This is not the first virus to make its way around the world. Does that qualify it as a pandemic? I wonder if some people just wanted to live in a zombie/ apocalypse movie. Others are making money from it and other still are using it for their own ends. These are the people that worry me. What is all the hysteria hiding? Why are businesses shut down and people trapped in their homes (hoping or assuming everyone has a home) for an endless time but the quarantine is just 2 weeks. Why are schools shut down but children from split homes are still shuttled back and forth several times a week from family to family. There are many things which don’t make sense.

This is why I created the coronavirus ASCII art. It’s a protest. I hope it gets people thinking, for themselves, rather than listening to the bottomless propaganda flooding the media. I think Con19 is the right terminology.

Intolerance is black. Not black and white and no room at all for shades of grey. Intolerance is a dictatorship.

To me it seems intolerance has become more important than respect, love or anything else. If you read the intolerance manual you would believe it was my generation and those before us who were intolerant, bigots, and so on. But, that isn't true. We may have been racist, but we were not intolerant. We had black, white, shades of grey, men, women, old and young.

Now there is just one way everything is allowed to be and everyone must stick to the right rules. I see only black, there can be no exception. Any feelings or thoughts (and certainly any actions!) to the contrary will not be tolerated. Even those you love will choose the rules over you. Don't get in the way, don't have any other opinion and don't complain.

Writing this, this morning, I wonder how people have gotten this way.

I have tolerance. I'm sad, I'm angry and I'm disappointed but I am not throwing rocks at anyone. I am not insisting on having my way or ignoring someone else who does not agree with me. I am tolerating someone who ignored my beliefs, my feelings and everything I am. I am not throwing anyone out, or under a bus. I am not screaming, hurting someone else, or insisting on a boycott. I am not using social media to gather others to my witch hunt.

I am of the generation who believe in human rights, including the human right to be human. Being human means everyone is entitled to be imperfect. Being human I expect people to not have all the same thoughts, feelings, culture or experiences. I like to explore other cultures and experiences. I like knowing there are people who disagree with me but listen to how I think and care enough to tolerate me when I feel or think differently.

You have to be entitled to be so firmly intolerant.

Today people have a feeling of entitlement they say. I have seen this in the younger generation, but not just there. The feeling of entitlement is part of the blackness of intolerance. I think it backs it up, keeps it from letting in any of those other colours. You have to be entitled in order to be so firmly intolerant.

Where did we lose the idea that it is ok to say no and have that respected? Of course, you can say no to the acceptable things: rape, bullying, racism, homophobia and transphobia. To a much smaller extent you can still say no to religious discrimination and a few other, older and less popular in the media discriminations we are still allowed to say no to. Racism is not tolerated, if you are black. If you are any other race, culture or colour, you will need to have tolerance. I'm not sure why. Why are some causes supported so fervently and others almost forgotten and ignored? Why do only some people matter?

We have lost the right to respectfully disagree.

I wish people could remember, or care, or respect the fact that we do not all agree. We do not all have to agree. But, with intolerance there is no right to respectfully disagree. I respectfully disagreed but I was not respectfully tolerated, instead I faced the intolerance and being family, years of love, respect and everything else could not overcome the intolerance which is held up like a solid, black wall, higher and thicker than any human being can ever hope to come across, or around.

I am sad and sad is grey, not black.

--Comment from the original post.

2012/04/03 at 7:49 pm Arlee Bird tossingitout.blogspot.com

A phobia is actually a psychological disorder. Many groups now use the term to slur anyone who disagrees with them. It’s a dilution of words and terminology that is not a very good use of language. Kind of in a 1984 sort of way.

You are a smart lady. And I mean that as in intelligent.

Lee Places I Remember Wrote By Rote An A to Z Co-host blog

Me: The word homophobia has annoyed me from the start. It’s claiming everyone who disagrees with homosexuality is afraid of it. Very prejudgmental.

People expect a cashier to be friendly, quick and accurate. Cashiers try to be all of those but it's not so simple. The job of cashier is not as simplistic as it seems on the surface, from the other side of the retail counter.

Cashiers will gripe about customers. You can read about that online if you want to. I actually liked being a cashier (most of the time) and I found nearly all my customers were easy to work with. The focus of the cashier is the transaction. Make sure the customer has what they need and be friendly but we always have the store management looking over our shoulder too. The store will tell cashiers the customer is their first priority but, that isn't what they really mean. For me this was the part of working in customer service which I did not like.

Overall, I did like helping people, making sure they left with what they needed and (if I was having a good day) I could even see them leave the store feeling better than when they came in.

The following are points which can help both the cashier and the customer. If you want a speedier check out, friendlier service or more service read all of this and keep it in mind next time you are shopping. You can help yourself to get more from the cashier, if you plan ahead and use some common courtesy for the cashier and your fellow shoppers too.

Conversation

Conversation is nice. It breaks up my day and cashiers are encouraged to interact with customers. But, we also get pressure to keep the line moving, to not say the wrong thing and promote more purchases. As a cashier conversation is tricky.

I had to learn to ignore the line up. There was no other way to be friendly and not feel over pressured, impatient or rushed. I did have customers who came in and ended up staying too long. I was good at starting a conversation and... I really did get personal satisfaction in turning someone's mood around.

Still, the management would put pressure on me to use this time to get people to buy more, apply for credit cards, gift cards and so on.

Also, cashiers are given a formula and the management does not like it when cashiers stray from that formula. Skipping steps, taking extra time with customers are not appreciated by management. Yet, they also tell us to make the customer feel welcome, appreciated and not rushed.

Bags and Packing

Packing up items was something I grew to like. It became a challenge to fit everything in just right, in good order, safely without making the bag too heavy - or using too many bags.

I've since seen some creative bag packing when I am a shopper. One cashier put the heavy bags of milk (that's how it comes in Ontario) on the bottom and the eggs on top. Creative... but not so practical. Milk tends to flop around in a bag. Eggs, being lighter, tend to sink lower in the bag. This is not such a great combination in one bag. Maybe the cashier was bored and wanted to pay a game. I caught it and was careful how I got that bag out to the car, up the stairs and into the house. Someone else probably had broken eggs.

Packing up bags isn't just important for groceries. Clothing needs to be folded and not put in the same bag with anything possibly leaking or heavy. No one wants to get home and discover their laundry soap was not capped as well as they thought in the bag.

Bagging is an art. A creative art but a science too.

You can help the cashier and make it go faster by putting things out in order. Keep frozen stuff together. Keep light and heavy things sorted out. You don't have to think too much, just be aware in case your cashier isn't.

If you change your mind about something while at the check out just give it to the cashier. We have a place under the counter for anything like that. Please don't leave items around the counter, on candy shelves and such - especially groceries which can spoil or small items which roll under something or be stepped on/ tripped over by someone else.

Give the Cashier Some Space (Especially When you're Sick)

Please, if you are shopping because you took the day off work due to illness - please don't lean in to talk to me. Please wash your hands and don't touch me. I only get paid if I show up for work. This means any sick days I take off due to illnesses I catch from customers cost me money. This means I'm making even less per week at what is already not a well paid job.

If you must go shopping when you are sick - keep your germs to yourself.

I don't really understand why people want to come out to stores when they could be home watching televisions, goofing around online or just enjoying a day to themselves while everyone else is at school or work. But, many, many, many people do wind up visiting cashiers and sharing their colds, viruses, bacteria, infections.

At the very least - don't lean in close or take hold of my sleeve to draw me near to you when you know you're sick with something contagious.

On a side note, don't lean on the counter from behind me either. Sick or not. When the store is busy and line ups are packed the last thing an over-worked cashier needs is to feel she has no space, is crowded and become claustrophobic This happened to me during one Christmas holiday. People kept pressing in closer and closer and then some guy, leaning on the half wall next to me, actually jabbed his elbow into my head (accidentally but he did not even bother to see if I was ok). It was all I could do to last to the end of my shift that day, actually my shift plus an extra four hours for another cashier who didn't show up.

Overall, please respect the cashier and give her (or him) some space.

Don't Ask or Expect the Cashier to Leave the Register/ Counter

Understand that I am not supposed to (or allowed) to leave my register unless I have signed off. I can not leave to help you carry things out to your car, or pick up something broken or any other of a thousand things. This is especially true if I am the only cashier at the time. Try the customer service desk, if there is one.

I would like to help you. I would really like to get away from standing hours in the same place too. But, I'm just a cog in the wheel and I can't abandon my counter or cash register until I sign out and leave it locked with another cashier available to keep working.

Of course, there are exceptions for emergencies. But, even then I have to lock up because I will be held responsible if I don't.

Please don't abandon your shopping cart in the way of other shoppers after you have gone through the line. I will have to sign out of the register and walk around (usually the long way) and then return the cart to where ever it needs to go. This holds up the line but I can't have people tripping over the cart or letting it be cluttering up the front of the store.

Sale Prices and Damaged Goods

A cashier should study the store flyer, the sales for the week before she starts for the day. However, this does not always happen during holiday rushes. I was often asked to start an hour early and stay an hour or four late. My breaks were cut to five minutes instead of 15 due to things beyond my control. There was no time to study the sale prices until I was actually behind the counter with customers who expected me to already know the sales.

If you have a flyer with the sale price bring it up. That did help. The store I worked at would allow the cashiers some discrepancy about sale prices, damaged goods and just promoting good feelings with customers.

Do not throw a fit and become loud and demanding. Trust me, this does not actually work with every cashier. It never worked with me. I would just become angry myself and politely deny all their requests and demands. I did not owe them a sale price just because they insisted they were right (when they had only their own say-so).

Have your coupons ready. If you want to do price matching tell me at the start of the transaction. This makes it easier for me to sort things out for the computer. Some stores may still want coupons processed differently, in a manual way. So this will take extra time but it is not a bother - if you give us notice. Lately I have seen stores which are able to jut scan the coupons and the computer catches the items and adds the sale price. The department store I worked at was a bit hit or miss this way. I would make sure the sale price went through if I knew about it ahead.

Don't Interrupt Another Customer Unless someone has passed out in line, or a child is lost or a fire has broken out... it is really very disrespectful and impolite to interrupt another customer when they are being served. I never liked this, it was boorish and rude and though I could not ignore the person, I would not drop everything to help them either

If you need directions or some other assistance find a store employee who is available. In my case, the customer service desk was just steps away but people would sometimes just push their way past the customer I was helping and expect I would help them instead. For me, the customer I was actually dealing with was my focus and I would get rid of the interloper as quickly as I could. I did not always take the time to help them as well as I could have if they had just waited their turn - or at least waited until I was finished with the customer and had not yet started the next.

Cell Phones and Other Distractions

Don't expect great customer service if you come to my counter talking to someone else. Cell phones especially, I'm not sure if you are talking to me or your phone.

It can be tricky dealing with a group of people at the counter. Parents with small children may be distracted watching them, this is understandable, to a point. Children who are out of control are not something I can deal with for you. I can't give them free gifts, make them promises or give them stern warnings. I will keep them from sitting on my counter, taking bags or abusing me. No cashier has to put up with physical abuse from any customer, or their children.

A group of people at the cash is always a bit of confusion. I try to keep track of the person who is actually the customer, the one I am checking out at the moment. If the person is talking and goofing around with friends and not paying attention, I just do the best I can.

10 Items or Less and Express Lines

The idea of express lines is to help speed things up for people who want to get in and out and not wait behind someone who has bought more or wants to take time to chat with the cashier, debate about sales and so on. Please respect your fellow shoppers and stick to the right line.

As a cashier, I'm there for my shift whether everyone in the express line has 10 items or 100. I may not be impressed but I will go ahead and keep working. I leave it up to the other customers to give you the evil eye.

On a slightly related note - if you are my first customer of the day I will not be able to break a $100 bill or a $50. Just take it to customer service and they can get whoever is managing the cash to bring you smaller bills. I won't have them until at least an hour after my shift has started. Cashiers start with a float of cash. That amount has actually become smaller as debit and credit cards are used far more often than cash.

While I'm typing about cash... I can't give you rolls of quarters. Check with customer service though but best of all - ask at the bank where they have the money stashed.

If you are shopping on Seniors Day and want the discount, tell the cashier. It is really awful to ask someone is they are a senior and find out they are not.

Animals in the Store

Some cashiers like pets. Some are allergic to pets. I'm allergic to pets. Don't bring them into the store if they are not welcome and please do not expect every cashier to serve you when you bring livestock. Your pets are your little friends, not mine. They are not customers and never will be.

You may have though it was cute or clever to carry your pet around in the merchandise but now you need to pay for it. Don't take something clean and leave the chewed, dirty or hair covered item for someone else to buy. No one will ever buy something your pet has mangled in the store, or as a return.

I'm not going to mark down an item your animal has wrecked either. So don't ask.

Interact with the Cashier (We Like to be Friendly)

You may be having a really bad day, feeling deeply depressed or just want to be alone in the world. I don't know your personal situation but, please just once during the transaction look up at me. I don't need you to be entertaining but I do like to at least have a moment of eye contact.

Having typed this, I do understand not interacting with people you come across. Being too worn out to make the effort. Being too upset or sad to want to put yourself out there. Still, people who could not at least look at me were worse than people who tried to scam, yell or anything else.

Make a second of eye contact. You don't even have to smile.

Where Is... Getting Directions in the Store

A good cashier, or one who has been working in the store awhile, often does know where a lot of things are and what the store does (or does not) carry. So, I never minded people asking for help to find something. (If they waited for me to be between customers). I liked how well I could answer these questions. Not every cashier does. Some may be new or just never look around before or after their shift.

Many stores, like department stores, will have customer service people on the floor who can also help with directions and finding items. This was actually a job I did for awhile in a department store. (There was a lot of walking and running involved). See if you can find someone like this to help you if the cashiers are busy. Customer service is also there for the same reason. They even get a map of the store so they aren't just relying on their own personal knowledge of the store and the items sold in the store.

Also, try not to ask store staff for help if they are wearing a jacket over their uniform, or carrying their purse, etc. These are likely staff who are off the clock and may be cranky, tired or any of a lot of emotions which will not lead to friendly customer service. Of course, if you really need help anyone should be human enough to help you and there is no reason (even a double shift) for someone to at least find someone who is on the clock to take the time to help you.

International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia

Is this really about protecting gay rights or is this just an excuse to bash another group of people? To me this is a giant step backwards when it comes to our rights and freedoms in general. Are we no longer allowed to have our own opinion? Do we have to all agree with the popular choice? Are we going to end up throwing rocks at people who don't agree with homosexuality now?

This is crazy. Totally unacceptable!

Whatever you feel or think about the issue of homosexuality is irrelevant - should we not have the right and the freedom to express our opinion without being judged this way? Where is your free speech and free thought now?  You now have no right to disagree, no right to your own opinion and your own freedom of choice is gone. This cause is even supported by the government! I think this is too much. The government is supporting an event which is all about taking away our free speech and free choice. Think about that before you jump in with both feet.