These are two things I found in my old blog and decided to repost here. I don't have a source for either of them, originally posted in 2004. Quite awhile ago.

New Celestial Computer V!rus3s Detected

While the Hale-Bopp comet may not have any spaceships in its tail, it apparently has released several new celestial computer v!ruses into our galaxy. Initial reports indicate 12 such v!ruses have been detected. The following is a listing of the new v!ruses and their attributes:

The ARIES v!rus continuously creates new *.ini files, and repeatedly reboots your computer to initiate them.

The TAURUS v!rus automatically backs-up all files on your hard drive and prevents you from ever deleting any information or files.

The GEMINI v!rus opens any available communication software, logs on to the internet, and uses your web-browser to search for gossip about celebrities and politicians, starting a new search every 2 minutes.

The CANCER v!rus fills up your hard drive with cooking recipes, home repair tips, and old Dear Abby columns, and then installs a screen-saver that flashes 1-800 numbers for various 12-step programs across your screen.

The LEO v!rus announces its presence with a RealAudio roar (often followed by a QuickTime clip of the MGM lion if supported by your hardware) and proceeds to delete files from your hard drive to make room for the long list of computer systems it has conquered.

The VIRGO v!rus continuously eliminates any files or programs you haven't used for a month and defrags your hard drive every time you exit a program.

The LIBRA v!rus downloads from the internet any optional features it can find for your installed software, and installs pop-ups for each new feature that describe its pros and cons and asks whether you want it installed now or later.

The SCORPIO v!rus lurks in the background, surreptitiously downloading x-rated binary files every time you surf the net (now you know the real reason web-browsers are so slow!).

The SAGITTARIUS v!rus immediately begins searching your hard drive for the one true Source code, identifying and deleting all mere object code in its path.

The CAPRICORN v!rus constructs and continually updates a database of all information on your hard drive searchable by file name, creation date, file size, author's name (and last known address), subject, and Library of Congress classification code.

The AQUARIUS v!rus deletes all old versions of any software on your hard drive, and provides new wireless remote connection capability for obtaining the latest version of each program by FTP transfer.

The PISCES v!rus reconfigures your hard drive(s) to eliminate any artificial boundaries such as partitions, directories and files, and instead unites all software code in one universal string.

" Live Life Like A Computer "

If you messed up your life, you could press "Alt, Ctrl, Delete" and start all over!

To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"!

If you needed a break from life, click on "suspend". Hit "any key" to continue life when ready.

To get even with the neighbors, turn up the sound blaster.

To "add/remove" someone in your life, click settings and control panel.

To improve your appearance, just adjust the display settings.

If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers.

When you lose your car keys, click on "find".

"Help" with the chores is just a click away.

You wouldn't need auto insurance. You'd use your diskette to recover from a crash.

We could click on "send" and the kids would go to bed immediately.

To feel like a new person, click on "refresh".

Click on "close" to shut up the kids and spouse.

To undo a mistake, click on "back".

Is your wardrobe getting old? Click "update".

If you don't like cleaning the litter box, click on "delete".

I've got two links to share:

• Markup Markdown
• HTML to Markdown Converter

Both have been great. The Markup Markdown plugin could use some tweaking. Mainly, the editing window does not keep the editing toolbar in view. So, if I need something I have to go all the way back up on my screen and then all the way back down again. Mostly this is when I'm typing in a URL, because it is still easier to have the software/ editor add the code than type it in myself (I don't always catch typos in the code when I do it myself).

I think a personal website is an online page (or more) created to share interests without marketing at people. Usually, its a simple site. Almost something I could build myself (at first glance anyway) limited as I am with plain HTML skills and a dash of CSS, maybe some javascript. Well not really, but I'm not 100% clueless about javascript.

There are less personal websites, or are they just so much harder to find? It could be either way. I tend to find ideas, links, and groups for personal site makers in clusters. Start somewhere and follow the trail with all sorts of interesting and unique stops along the way. So, here are the latest I have found. Some are more for people with knowledge beyond mine: developers and programmers who do not make cookie cutter stuff for WordPress. I don't make stuff for WordPress, but it seems phony (to me) when people call themselves web designers and only know how to deal with WordPress (not always well). I may as well call myself a web designer if that was all there is to it.

Octothorp - Github link

Octothorpes are hashtags and backlinks that can be used on regular websites, connecting pages across the open internet regardless of where they're hosted.

Octothorp is redeveloping/ bringing back the blogroll and webring idea. I think its improved a little. People shouldn't need to update every link in the ring, there should be some automation (as far as I have understood it) that would stop showing a link if it disappears. This was one problem with the old blogrolls/ webrings.

Do you know, the original webring is still online? You may never have heard of it, even if you are as old as I am.

Expanding Unidirectional Ring Of Pages

EUROPa is a different way to connect up and explore the World-Wide Web. It was started at Imperial College, London, UK on 1994-12-22 by Denis Howe just to see how far it would spread.

Blag

blag is a blog-aware, static site generator -- it uses Markdown and is written in Python.

Blag might be even simpler than Chryp Lite, which I'm using now. But, I don't think it is simple enough for me to work with. You need to open up terminals in your OS. I used to do that when I had Ubuntu Linux. But, its been years since I was able to get Ubuntu to work on any computer I have bought (retail) in a long time. I'd go back to Ubuntu, if I could save everything (kind of a big job). Then remove MS Windows, which the PC is not keen on allowing. Installing Ubuntu was not hard, or difficult. Using it was easier than Windows really. Plus, I could laugh at sites claiming I've been attacked by MS Windows in some way. If you are running Linux, you might like to try Blag.

11ty - Eleventy is a static site generator. Requires javascript and being able to run things in your computer terminal. It looks nice and clean but... not so simple as I would like these days.

Bukmark Club - "To be eligible for a listing in this directory, a website must have a curated collection of bookmarks and/or links to other websites".

I have had so many collections of links for assorted topics. It comes from all the years of editing at The Open Directory Project, now Curlie.org. Unless you just have a handful of links, its is a LOT of work to keep a collection of links updated. You need something to help you go through and find any which are broken. But, I'd still like to update some of my pages of links and add them to this directory. :)

Places to list your personal website:

• HTTV - Hypertext TV
• BlogScroll
• A Website is a Room
• Personal Site .es
• URL. Town
• Gossip's Web - "the directory of handmade webpages"
• The Wild Wild Web
• smallweb

Description of a personal website which I thought was a bit rough around the edges but worked:

The entries on this website were written to be written and not necessarily to be read. While they have been made public, the same could be said of garbage bags discarded in the woods or stomach contents expelled against a wall. The author expects nothing from the reader and asks only to be accorded the same courtesy.

Rationale More from the same person, on another of his sites.

There is something inherently suspect about publicly volunteering information without being asked or provoked. Anyone who engages in such behavior bears the burden of explaining why they chose to do so rather than remain silent. In the absence of a satisfying justification, silence must appear far preferable.

Starting a personal website such as this one may come across as presumptuous or arrogant, provided there is no evidence of prior interest in one’s person. The author of such a website appears to be making an implicit claim that it will be useful, interesting, or relevant to someone else. It is only natural to expect them to defend this claim.

I regret to say that any justification I can provide will likely be insufficient and disappointing. At the time of writing, I have no reason to believe there exists any general interest in myself. Moreover, I most emphatically do not believe that such interest ought to exist. I do not particularly wish to be known. I have nothing particularly important to say. I am not even particularly interested in the general concept of communication with others.

The truth is that I created this website for purely personal reasons. I view it as an experiment in proving to myself that I, in fact, do exist, and that there is something that could be said about myself. I needed this because I tend to consistently doubt these two points.

It could be argued that I could have achieved the same result by writing some facts about myself on a loose piece of paper or by digging a hole in the ground and shouting the facts into it, rather than publishing them on the web for the whole world to see. This is a sound argument. In response, I can only offer a vague intuition that proving one’s existence must have something to do with establishing an objectively verifiable presence in the external world.

I assume you have visited this website of your own volition. I am afraid you will have to furnish your own reasons for reading its contents, and if none can be found, you have only yourself to blame. Whatever your motivation, by being here you are contributing to the success of my experiment. Thank you.

I've reposted all of this because some of the best stuff I find disappears without notice. Very likely this site (mine, all of them) will disappear without much notice or fanfare too. If someone does continue to pay the web host, it doesn't last forever. I'm glad for the Wayback Machine and Internet Archives. Now and then I give them a few dollars I can spare, thinking of the future and hoping I won't entirely disappear from it. I'm silly that way. I think its a sign of age.