As the oldest of four kids, Thanksgiving was my least favourite holiday. I did like having the family come from all over Ontario, something I appreciate much more now that I am older.

My dislike of Thanksgiving was not for any of the popular political/ soapbox reasons about natives and the New World or even the mass killing of turkeys... I didn't like all the extra work and the arguing and the fact that we spent most of the day and the day before making pies, homemade bread, all those vegetables and then it was all over (for the men) in about 20 minutes.

For the rest of us, myself and my Mother and my Grandmother, there was another hour of clean up. My brother would help sometimes - he surprises me every family holiday now because he is the first one up helping to clean up and serve the dinner, every single time. My two sisters were very little help. Sure, they had the excuse of being younger, but they could have done more. Ironically, one of my sisters now says she always helped and I was the one who did nothing. Yet, somehow I remember peeling apples for pies and she was never there. I remember mashing potatoes, washing dishes, setting the table... no sister visible.

More than siblings, I resented the men at Thanksgiving. Not my Grandfather, because he would pitch in a bit and he would have helped more if we had asked him. But, he seemed to have a pass on the work, an old traditional kind of guy and a quiet guy too. I mostly would be angry with my Dad. He would sit back, doing nothing and lord it over as if he were king of the castle and never had to lift a finger. Maybe that was the big difference in how I felt, his attitude. My Uncle would be there too, he would bring plates out and mostly clear the table. But most years he was too full to do much and happy to watch TV with the other men.

In the kitchen, that's where Thanksgiving always seemed to be for me. We would be washing dishes before dinner, and again after dinner. Putting turkey and cabbage rolls and all those vegetables into serving dishes and platters and then putting all the leftovers into storage containers. Hours of time making pies and homemade bread. Some years we made apple strudel too, from scratch just like the bread and pies. My Mom and I worked together all Thanksgiving Day.

When my Grandmother (and sometimes my Aunt) came over they joined in. We talked about family history, people I had only met once (that I could remember) in my life. There was gossip too. But there really wasn't much conversation. We talked about what we were doing mainly, how to make the bread right. There were always instructions, especially for me, being the youngest and newest member of the baking/ cooking crew. My sisters, by almost never being there, missed out.

You may read this and think this isn't painting an anti-Thanksgiving picture. But, that wasn't how I felt about the baking and cooking with my Mother and Grandmother. I did like that part. I participated every year. Sometimes I would get impatient with being overloaded with instructions, as if I didn't already know what I was doing. Sometimes I would become the topic of conversation and hear about everything I should be doing and thinking differently. As aggravating as that would be, I've come to understand it was well meant.

I'm less anti-Thanksgiving these days because of my brother. Isn't it funny how life moves back on itself? I was so angry about being left with the women working while the men watched TV as if that was all they had to do all day (it pretty much was all they did as far as I could see). I could never understand why men were allowed, even expected, to be so useless and yet (in the case of my Dad) so critical too. He would criticise everything I did, as I got older I would try to not be there and do less. Then he would accuse me of hiding to avoid work. Of course, he didn't have to hide to avoid work.

Anyway, my brother is different. I don't know how or when it happened. He could have grown up to be a TV watching on Thanksgiving, like his Dad. But, he didn't. It wasn't while we grew up, he did help some but not the way he really pitches in now. I can go to his house for Thanksgiving and it can be me that does nothing but watch TV. I'm still kind of amazed by this every time.

So I'm less anti-Thanksgiving but it will never become one of my favourite holidays. What do you really think and feel about Thanksgiving in a personal way? Most people talk about the natives and old history that doesn't affect most of us personally. For me that's not what Thanksgiving is about. It's not about the culling of turkeys, the native peoples or religion and being thankful to any god. Thanksgiving is about family, the good, the bad and the ugly, all part of a pack of people working together one way or another.

Politically Based Anti-Thanksgiving

• Unthanksgiving Day - Wikipedia
• National Day of Mourning (United States protest) - Wikipedia
• Thanksgiving Celebration - Native Americans Thanksgiving
• Aaron Helton: The Anti-Thanksgiving

 Why Complicate Thanksgiving with Old News?

I don't really understand the point of the politically based anti-Thanksgiving theme. Why do people need to bring old history into a family holiday? Thanksgiving is a day to be thankful for the things we have, each of us, individually or as a family.

I know negative people and I know people who take on the woes of the world as if they were responsible for all of them, even though they could never have been in all those places at the same time. I don't understand this way of thinking. You will never change everyone and even to try is breaking your own rules for everyone having freedom of thought and expression. So, why keep flogging a dead horse?

Enjoy Thanksgiving for what it is. Why make it so complicated with old news? I'm not going to take responsibility for something done before I was even born. I'm not going to drag religion into a holiday when I haven't been inside a church in at least 10 years. I'm also going to eat turkey, guilt-free. I like meat. I don't like tofu.

If you don't like Thanksgiving and refuse to celebrate the holiday - do it for your own reasons.

Feminists, Thanksgiving and Women's Work

• The Thanksgiving Gender Divide: Women Cook, Men Watch Football?
• Women, Thanksgiving and Gender Roles - About.com
• Old Feminist: Thanksgiving work
• Feminist Legal Theory: Thanksgiving: Women's work?
• Everyday Feminist - Thanksgiving served up feminist style - The Patriot Ledger

L. Frank Baum wrote a lot more than the 'Wizard of Oz' series of stories. One of his books is 'The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus'. He later wrote a short story, 'A Kidnapped Santa Claus'. See more about L. Frank Baum and his wide range of books on Wikipedia: L. Frank Baum.

This book is about Santa Claus, from his birth to growing up and how he became Santa Claus. L. Frank Baum wrote a book explaining all the Santa Claus traditions, why Santa gives presents, how he started using the reindeers and where the elves came in. For every child who has wondered about Santa Claus, this book gives them answers and pulls together so many other traditions and legends of the great jolly man in the red suit.

My family had a vintage copy of the first edition of this book. The cover was very red. If you picked up the book it would leave your fingers stained red, even after all the years we had the book on our shelves. This is why I never really read it I think. We had the book from my Mother's family. It was one of two books she saved from a house which was demolished to make room for a McDonald's restaurant in the town of Woodstock, Ontario (many years ago).

Sadly, the book ended it's days stored in the basement after yet another move to yet another house with our family. A hot water tank burst, flooded the basement and was not noticed right away. So many things stored in the basement then were left standing in water. One of the books in the most ruined box was the L. Frank Baum book, 'The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus'. The insurance company paid us the value of the book, and some other things, but we have never really tried to replace the book. Some things are more than just objects. Replacing the object does not also replace the history and the feelings for it. So our messy old red book is gone.

It would be lovely to read the book. I think about it each Christmas. But, it's one of those things that gets pushed down on my to-do list as I keep adding more and more to be done first.

Dear Santa,

I need a new Christmas tree this year. I gave my old tree to my nephew. I thought he would be happy to have a Christmas tree of his own. It's his first year of living on his own, so far away from his family, attending university. Do you remember that tree, Santa? It was the first Christmas tree I ever bought for myself when I had a place of my own. The store I bought it from doesn't even exist now. I kept the original box, packed the tree up carefully each year. Until the divorce and then I didn't put up a tree for a long time.

But, divorce doesn't last forever and yes, I did buy myself a new Christmas tree, a fancy one! A celebration tree! I picked it out after Christmas so I could get a huge, expensive tree for just $40 on sale. I couldn't take it home on the bus, it was just too bulky and heavy. But, even with the taxi fare I still didn't pay the full amount the tree had been selling for. Practical even as I splurged on that tree. It was tall, lots of branches for all my ornaments. I loved the branches too, much nicer than my old tree (as much as I still liked it too). Still, the old tree did not come pre-lit! What a luxury that was. Just get the right plugs in the right places and there it was... all lit up and even a dimmer switch. What a glorious tree it was. Until the top of the three sections disappeared and I felt too discouraged to put it up that way.

This year, already November, Santa Claus, I gave away my old tree out of love and I can't put up the broken tree because it hurts my heart. Have you got a new Christmas tree in your Santa sack for me? Could you send it early, pretty soon in fact? I've got all the decorations out from the garage and they look forlorn sitting out without a tree to decorate.

It must be an artificial tree. I can't even remember ever having anything else since I was a kid and my brother was allergic to real trees. I'd like a tree that will be a little easier to store away, probably about 4 feet tall so I can get it inside a storage tote to keep the dust and mice away from it while it's in the rafters of the garage most of the year. I'd like something pretty. A pre-lit tree again for sure. I found the loveliest tree online (so far) but it's too far out of my budget to consider.

I know you must be crazy busy as December gets closer, but if you can, help me find that perfect little tree so I can put one up again this year. I need my Christmas spirit as much as everyone else.

Take care of yourself,

Me.

Note: This is not written to request anyone send me a tree. I've narrowed it down to a couple from stores in the area. I will have the tree ready to set up by the middle of this week. Thank you to anyone who would consider being charitable, but I'm just fine and I like being independent.

Should you get a Real Tree or a Fake Tree?

You may not have asthma and/ or allergies in your family, this is the most practical reason for having an artificial Christmas tree, to me. You may have animals in your home and want to keep them from treating a real tree like a.... real tree. Or, you may just not like throwing away a real tree after Christmas. If you have enough garden or yard space you can compost the tree but it's not going to compost quickly and it will change the garden soil condition - good for some plants and not so good for others.

In the end, consider a fake tree because they don't shed needles, don't need to be replaced each year and you leave the real trees out there to keep on growing and producing oxygen.

• Flickr: Christmas Tree Carcasses
• Flickr: Christmas Trees Discarded

Modern Artificial Trees are Beautiful Too

There are so many options for the modern artificial Christmas tree, I wonder why people keep cutting down real trees. It is especially sad to see all those real trees thrown out in the trash such a short time later.

My favourite thing about family holidays has always been the family getting together and baking. Most holidays we made pies, bread/ rolls and the odd new-fangled concept which seemed to always work out, some how. Those days are a bit lost now as we move from the old generation into the new. But, I still like holiday baking and Halloween is one of my favourite three holidays. I like these gingerbread men because they bring something new to an old Christmas tradition and something new to Halloween. Halloween gingerbread men are a good combination. Plus, tasty treats too.

Of course, most of these are based on the zombie idea. It's so trendy these days with zombie walks popping up in so many places. Gingerbread men (gingerbread people) in the zombie style tend to come with parts missing, gore and so on. Of course, you could just eat the odd leg - but that's a bit too much like double dipping. Frowned upon.

Then there's the skeleton gingerbread guy. Will you pick out the bones first or risk just crunching them between your teeth, in real gruesome Halloween style?

Why not continue on with all the standard Halloween characters in gingerbread, the ghost, the witch, the vampire, the Frankenstein monster and the mummy too. You can get tin, some snips and create your own cookie cutter designs. If you really want to go all out with the idea of gingerbread characters for Halloween.

Decorating the gingerbread men would be a bit challenging. I wouldn't like to use a lot of black icing so I'd get creative and turn them into colourful characters. Bring in more green and orange, black isn't the only traditional Halloween colour. Why should cookies be so darkly Gothic?

Pick a recipe for a basic or simple sugar cookie. These are the type which you can roll out, cut and decorate. Not every recipe will be roller friendly so if you try a new recipe read it all the way through first. Some may need refrigeration, some may be crispy and likely to break and snap once they are baked. Martha Stewart has a basic sugar cookie recipe, but if you have a family favourite stick with that!

Ghastly, spooky, creepy ideas in cookie cutting (and decorating) for Halloween.

Decorating cookies is a great way to make your best creative notions as edible creations. Use a simple cookie recipe, cut out the cookie shapes, decorate them, bake them and share them with family, friends and whoever wears the best costume.

Make Mine Chocolate

Sadly, unwanted former Easter rabbits are a problem for virtually all rabbit rescues, humane societies, and animal welfare organizations. The goal of the “Make Mine Chocolate!” campaign is to address the problem at its source: reduce the number of uninformed, impulse purchases by changing the public's attitude towards rabbits.