How many of these superstitions have you done? I can pick out at least four which I have done. One I knew was iffy but I reasoned it away as being okay.

Do you know others which did not make this list?

• Never county the number of cars in a funeral procession.
• Never point at a funeral procession, its bad luck.
• Never take flowers from a grave.
• If you spill salt, immediately throw some over your left shoulder to keep the Devil at bay.
• An owl hooting outside of your window for three nights in a row foretells a death – yours of someone close to you.
• Here are some other death superstitions you may have heard.

Death superstitions involving nature:

• Flowers will grow on the grave of someone who lived a good line. Only weeds grow on the grave of someone who was evil.
• If a bird flies into your window, there has been a death.
• If you see an owl during the day, there will be a death close to you.
• An owl hooting outside of your window for three nights in a row foretells a death, yours of someone close to you.
• If lightening strikes near the house when someone is dying, the devil has come for their soul.
• If it rains in an open grave, it’s bad luck for the family.
• If there is a thunderstorm during a funeral, the deceased has gone to hell.
• If there is thunder following a burial then the deceased has reached heaven.

Physical death superstitions:

• Hold your breath when passing a graveyard so evil can’t enter.
• Another version is: If you don’t hold your breath when passing a cemetery, you will not be buried.
• If you have an involuntary shiver, someone has just walked over your grave.
• If you cast a headless shadow then you will die in the next year.
• If you lie down in a coffin you are taunting death to come and take you.
• Never whistle in a graveyard, you are summoning the Devil.
• Never wear anything new to a funeral. (Shoes seem to have particular significance.)
• Coins should be placed on the eyes of the deceased to pay the ferryman, Charon, to row the departed across the underworld river Styx.

Death superstitions in your home:

• Howling dogs in the night signify that someone ill in the house will die soon.
• If a picture suddenly falls off of the wall, someone you know has died.
• You should stop all clocks in the house where someone dies or it will bring bad luck.
• Open a window in the room when someone dies so that they can move on.
• Cover all mirrors after a death – so that the soul doesn’t get trapped in them.
• A casket must be carried out with the deceased’s feet first.

Death and the number 3:

• If you hear three knocks and no one is there, someone close to you has died.
• If only 3 candles are lit in a room, the person closest to the shortest candle will be the first to die.
• Death comes in threes.

Death superstitions about the graveyard:

• A metal cross on a grave will hold the spirit there.
• A body should be placed in the grave with its head to the west and feet to the east so that when it rises up it will face the sun. Never remove anything from a gravesite.
• It is bad luck to walk on graves.
• It is bad luck to trip when you’re in a cemetery.
• Being buried on the north side of the church is considered unlucky because of the lack of sun. That area is usually reserved for criminals and suicides.
• It is bad luck to go into a cemetery at night, or to be there at the stroke of midnight.

This list is from Joy Neighbors - A Grave Interest

Does anyone still make their own headstone? Is it even allowed if people are buried in a public/ commercial cemetery? I think you would have to be buried on private (most likely family owned) property. Also, it could be a memorial headstone and not in the place where someone is buried.

The idea of making your own headstone is interesting. You would need to know how to make them, especially how to make them to last a hundred years or so.

There are guides for making temporary headstones/ gravestones for Halloween and creepy themed events. That's not likely something you want for a family member (or even a pet).

The main options are wood, cement, or stone. Cement could work and be easier to create something by mixing the cement then pouring into a mould you have made, or bought. Wood should be much easier to carve or write on, but it won't be as enduring as cement or stone. A stone marker could just be a big rock. Attach a plaque to it instead of trying to become a stone mason or engraver over night. Of course, there are pros and cons for each of them. Plan ahead.

What does a headstone need to say?

• Name
• Date of birth
• Date of death
• Sentiments, including "beloved wife, mother, sister..." or "in memory of..."
• What else? Just don't forget you won't be the only one to see it and it will probably be around longer than you will. What you write reflects on yourself as much, or more, than who you write about.

Headstone, tombstone, gravestone...?

Although the terms "headstone," "gravestone," and "tombstone" are often used interchangeably, they actually have slightly different historical meanings. A headstone is the vertical stone that marks the head of the grave, and a tombstone was originally a stone that sat on top of a coffin (like a stone lid). A gravestone is a flat stone that lies on the grave.

From the site, Love to Know.

Facebook Group: Homemade Headstones

Two of the interview questions from the Cemetery Travel site. Read the interviews and find more questions on the site.

What’s your favorite thing to do in a cemetery?

What would your epitaph be?

If I were younger and still more romantic, my favourite thing to do in a cemetery would be a picnic. You would need to come prepared, not just the usual picnic things. You might check in with the people who maintain the land and be sure a picnic is welcome there.

Next, once you are there, find a good spot. Cemetery land tends to be knobby and bumpy. You might think its all manicured, perfect cared for lawns, its not always the case. Usually they are knobby due to insects, weeds, and no doubt other things I don't know about. You won't want too much shade or sun and a sunny day will at least save you from mosquitos.

I would not plan it as a Gothic looking thing. I don't see it as a gloomy event.

Now, at this age, I like visiting cemeteries just for photography. Finding the oldest stones, even those I can't read due to weathering or plant growth. Sometimes I can read them better from the photograph I take. I also look for ornate carved or sculpted stones. I especially like those with stone flowers. Its nice to see what people have planted around the stones too, or if they have left pennies, pebbles or other little mementos on the gravestone.

I'm not ready to write my epitaph. I'd like to visit, as a ghost or whatever is available, and read what others have written.

Of course, you could put together your own kit. Some cleaning solution, brushes, a little pick to pluck mould/ fungus out of the small places, and something to keep water in. But, it supports others if you choose to buy the kit. Also, you won't have to look for the best cleaning solution and brushes yourself.

I think you might bring along something to sit on too. Also, I'd consider an old towel or blanket to spread on the grass. Just in case the grass doesn't like something in the soap/ cleaner you use.

If you pick out the fungus and mould consider collecting all of those little living things and moving them to a new location. I've seen people making gardens with mould and fungi collected from the street.

Of course, bring your camera! If nothing else, get some before and after photos.

I have left a stone on a grave for a family member. But, for my Grandparents, we leave a fresh take out coffee (paper cup) and a cigarette, not lit. It's something they would like, if they were still here. It's not the only way we remember them. But, its how we remember the small every day things about them. Plus, its much easier to leave a coffee than so many other things. I don't want to litter, or cause extra clean up for the staff who maintain the cemetery.

I did wonder about the tradition of leaving a stone on a grave. I found a post about it, from Joy Neighbors, on her old site.

For thousands of years, people were buried in tombs or directly in the earth where they had fallen. Stones were then rolled in front of a tomb as a way of sealing it from scavengers and keeping evil spirits from escaping out into the world.

For those buried in the ground, rocks and stones were placed on top of the usually shallow grave to keep animals from digging up the body. These stacks of stones were known as cairns. Cairns can be found all over the world and vary in size from a few rocks to man-made hills.

Cairns were built not only as funeral monuments but also for ceremonies and defense. Today they are still constructed to mark trails, as seamarks, as sculpture, and as memorials.

Another reason rocks were left on the grave was based on an Eastern European folklore belief that the dead could haunt their burial place, or return to their family and cause trouble. Stones and rocks were used to prevent the deceased from rising up and escaping the body as a spirit, to torment others.

It is also a Jewish custom to place a stone or pebble on a headstone to indicate that you have visited the grave and to indicate respect for the deceased. Adding a stone was also seen as taking part in the Mitzvah of Matzevah or the ‘setting of stone.’

Today, leaving a stone of remembrance is viewed more as a way of continuing this tradition of commemoration. The more stones found at a grave, the more the deceased has been visited and remembered by others. An example would be the scene in Schindler’s List when the people that Oskar Schindler saved visit his grave and honor him by placing stones upon it.

Symbolically, the stones can indicate many things; that love and remembrance are as strong and as lasting as a rock. That as a stone lasts forever so to does love. Even a belief that the deceased is with God, since the Old Testament refers to God as a rock, as in Psalm 18:2 -- "The Lord is my rock…”

Regardless of how the custom came about, it is still an incredible way to remember and respect those who have passed on. Leaving a stone or pebble is a gesture of appreciation for the strong and lasting impression they have made on your life. Stones left by others show a long-term influence in their lives as well. What a wonderful way to leave a lasting tribute of love and honor at the grave site.

Source: A Grave Interest: Leaving Stones on Graves Joy Neighbors.

Description from the site:

I am a Tombstone Tourist: someone who loves to wander cemeteries. I find it akin to visiting a museum: an opportunity to enjoy rarely seen sculpture, intricate carvings, and amazing architecture, all in a tranquil outdoor setting. This blog is about cemetery culture, art, history, issues of death, and genealogy - subjects of current relevance. I usually find something that intrigues me and makes me want to dig deeper. Care to join me? Read on...