There is, still, something I like about writing by hand that I miss when I'm typing on a keyboard. There is a smoothness to the pen and paper and I like having good penmanship. There is no penmanship at all with a keyboard.

Today I found a note from Perfect Pen, a site selling pens and etc. They say 95% of people write their name first, when they get a new pen. I don't know if its true. How would you find out about that. Chances are someone selling pens and seeing people test them before buying, would know. So it could be true. What did you last write, by hand? I wrote a grocery list. But I also sent out handwritten Christmas cards this year.

I write down ideas for stories or non-fiction ideas for posts to my sites. Sometimes they never become posts. Lots of ideas are written and just don't develop further, or get mislaid somewhere, one way or another. But, I still like writing ideas more than typing them. My brain works differently while writing.  A bit slower and not as directly focused on the idea while I have the distraction of the pen, paper and penmanship. More than likely that changes how the ideas develop. Typing is so instant.

National Ballpoint Pen Day is June 10th. It's the day the patent for the ballpoint pen was filed.

Have you ever gotten into calligraphy, with fountain pens? I did a little of that. In high school I had a fountain pen. It was fun to write with but not as clean as a ballpoint pen. Of course, there have been pencils since the age of the dinosaurs (not literally). Pencils are just not the same, though artists still draw with an assortment of them.

Today, even though it isn't Ballpoint Pen Day, take a look at all the pens you have collected, scattered, around your home. Get some scrap paper out of the recycling and test all your pens. Not many have the option to be refillable and reused now. Or, people almost never seem to do that. Too many freebie pens given away to take the time to recycle them. Unless you have a favourite pen. I did have a favourite ballpoint pen but it was kind of exotic and I couldn't find ink to refill it. If you can find a use for the pens that no longer work, got dried out, or broken, that's great. Most likely the best you can do is get rid of them and have that much less clutter around.

Happy pen testing. Will you scribble something or ring true to the theory that the first thing you write with a new (sort of new) pen is your name?

It's Not About Bashing Men, or Fatherhood

Note: I'm not writing this to bash men or protest Father's Day. This is not anti-Fathers, it's just about Father's Day and giving some space to people who don't have the same appreciation for Father's Day which will be promoted all over the place, online and offline, over this weekend.

Some people will be feeling sad to have no Father around for Father's Day tomorrow. I won't be one of them. My Dad is dead, about 6 years ago I think.

We didn't get along. I was a kid at the time so it really was his choice. Like most family relationships, it's complicated and I never felt ok with him not really liking me until after he was dead. I don't want to go into more detail about our relationship. But, I did think it would be nice to share what I have felt and thought and concluded about the Father-less Father's Day for people like myself. From SomeEcards

My Own Anti-Father's Day Story

First of all, I don't miss my Dad. I do think it's sad he isn't still here - for his own sake. At the time he died I didn't feel much of anything. I thought I should at least be sad and later I was. Actually sad, not faking it or trying to make anyone else feel good. I didn't understand my sadness. Wasn't I finally able to get out from under his influence? A friend told me I was probably feeling sad because now nothing could ever change. He could never change. He could never tell me he didn't mean the stuff he said. He could never have a pleasant conversation with me. He could never do a single thing to make things better, or even different from what they were.

Anyway, that is something I think about this Father's Day. I feel sad for him to not be here (for his sake) and I feel sorry (for him) that nothing can ever be any different. He won't ever have a loving daughter and I won't ever have a Dad I want to spend time with on Father's Day.

Having a Father-less Father's Day

If you have a Father-less Father's Day you may just ignore the whole weekend and go on as if it were no special day at all.

I don't think you should. Whether you liked your Father or not, he was still someone in your life. Whether he left you with good feelings or no feelings at all, you don't really and truly forget him. I don't think we even want to forget him. He will always be some part of who we are.

Do something he can't do. Go out and enjoy your day. Take a walk, get a latte, buy a new book, play with your own kids (if you have them).

Maybe You Should Call Him?...

When someone tells you they don't get along with their Father, especially over this Father's Day weekend, don't suggest they call him. Don't make it seem that things can all be patched up and worked out like in some movie.

Life isn't like a movie. Don't make people feel their feelings are not valid just because they don't fit into the sunny side of life.

Not every situation can be worked out by sending a Father's Day card. Not everything can be forgiven or accepted just because of a phone call.

Don't give free advice and ignore the real feelings people have had.

Am I Angry?

Not so much. I think the anger burnt out long ago. I resent him. He left me with a lot of baggage.

But, it takes a lot of energy to carry around anger and hate. So I just don't bother.

It makes my life that much simpler.

I haven't found anyone else writing about Father's Day for people who didn't like their Dad. I guess we are just supposed to quietly not talk about it. Well, I'm talking about it. I know I'm not the only one feeling this way.