Originally posted to Adult BackWash: Saturday May 31, 2003  

"So, why do you want this job, Jack?" She looked him over, slowly. He wasn't what she had been expecting at all. He was tall, a little slender in that wiry way. Short sleeves showed off the muscles of his arms and she especially liked good biceps on a man. But, why would this guy want a job as her personal caretaker and sex pet?

He was quiet too. Just watching her right back, maybe thinking, maybe reconsidering this whole idea. Whatever idea had brought him this far.

"I need the money and this was the only job that sounded interesting. I don't see myself as the sales or customer service type." He smiled and showed off really nice, white teeth. …more

Originally posted to Adult BackWash: Saturday April 19, 2003

"Hmm.. Have I told you lately how much I really like a man in a suit?" She purred, her warm breath lifting the hairs along the back of his neck.

"Yes, I think you have, once or twice, usually just when you're working on getting me out of my suit." He laughed wickedly.

"That's just a coincidence." She said. Standing in front of him she leaned into his chest, biting his chin lightly, holding it between her teeth a few seconds. Her tongue played over the stubble left from a long day away at the office.

"I don't think it's a coincidence, especially since it seems to be happening again, right now." His hands wrapped snugly around her waist, fitting her even closer to his body. …more

Originally posted to Adult BackWash: Tuesday April 08, 2003  

When you write erotica the mechanics of sex are interesting. The what can go where and when becomes as much your focus as the actual story. For instance, you wouldn't want to write that you left the male submissive tied to a tree wearing nothing but a pair of shoes and then write that his cock was hard, pushing his panties out in front of him. Things have to follow along in order, logical order. It gets more complicated in a sex scene where two bodies are closer and all the arms and legs get in the way.

It's hard to keep watching for where the fingers are. Luckily people tend to have two arms and all those fingers. It makes it so much easier to have that second hand wandering after you leave the first one at a crucial point. Still, there is the matter of reach to be considered. Two arms attached to the same body can't reach from head to toe if the mouth in engaged on a nipple. It just won't work.

Then there is the whole general positioning thing. If both are facing each other you have all those body parts in good reach. But, turn one away and one person has a limited reach. It would be impossible to stand turned away from someone and reach back and grab a nipple. Well, not impossible but not easy and likely a strategically placed mirror would be a big help.

Which brings me to another tricky part, toys and equipment. You can't write about ball gags if you've never (at least) seen one. If you've never seen a leather mask how can you write about it's use? If you don't know how a whip is used can you write about whipping someone in a safe, sane, consensual way?

The mechanics of sex can definitely backfire on you in erotica. That's why it's so good to stick with what you know. Of course, you can also have all the fun of getting to know more, trying new things and exploring your options.

I tried, I really did. I tried not to be the angry columnist at Adult BW. I thought about giving men a break. But, it didn't last long. Just three emails did it all in. You can read the details in my column.

But, the question remains: are there any men who are more than the sum of one of their parts? Even the few I think of as human (as opposed to dickheads) could have been less than human in the past. Does that negate what they are now? I have to vote no on that. Mainly due to the whole running out of options thing. After all, there are only 2 sexes.

I was just going to ask why so many men treat women like sluts, something along the lines of a convenient sex toy. But, inspiration strucketh me. They do it because that is what they know.

Once, in a web chat one of the women asked the men in the group how it felt when they had an orgasm. None of them really had an answer. But, from the discussion, as it went on, I gathered that they don't have an orgasm the way women think of it. For them it seems to be more like a tap being surged to full speed and then shut off. That simple and that small.

For women (in case you don't know) an orgasm can start at your toes and rebound up to your hair roots before it explodes at the pussy level. I don't think men have anything like that. For them it seems to be a physical release, mechanical and then done until the next time. So why do they even bother, a sensible woman might ask. Me too. But, since they don't know what they are missing they have nothing to compare it to. Their orgasm seems just great, to them.

No wonder most erotica written by men offers nothing more than stroke fodder. They just have no idea how great sex can really be.

Originally posted to Adult BackWash: Monday March 24, 2003  

Shhh... I have to type softly, he's still sleeping. But while it's all still fresh in my mind and on my skin, I wanted to tell you my secret bedroom confession. Of course, I'm only telling this to you cause... well... I don't really know why. I guess it's like that whole mountain climbing thing, you were there at the time.

It all started when he saw me at the McDonalds. I just wanted a coffee but I was all out of change. Pretty sad, and I really needed a coffee. I turned to face him, knowing already that a hunky looking guy was behind me in line. I'd spent all the 4 minutes he was there brushing my behind against his jacket. I'm sure he noticed me.

Anyway, I smiled and let my coat slip away from my breasts. I wasn't wearing much of a shirt. It was a hot day, in more than one way, if I know what I mean. He looked, I knew he would. But, he didn't say anything to me. Just reached out to the counter and put a dollar down. It was enough for my coffee. Then he brushed past me and told the cashier to add his own order to that. I had to wait for my coffee. I was kind of annoyed, I'm not a girl who's used to waiting.

He pretty much ignored me. But I put that down to playing some kind of hard to get game. Men that say I'm too easy tend to like that kind of game. I think they just want the chase. So I let them.

I took my coffee from his tray and then sat down, one seat away from him. He ate his lunch, a greasy burger and fries and he seemed to forget all about me. Of course, I'm ME! So I knew he was just playing that game.

I finished my coffee, I wanted to be ready when he was. He was ready, boy was he ready! In just a few seconds he surprised me, picking me up and carrying me out the door. I only just managed to grab my purse! I think he even took his tray to the garbage. That was thoughtful. The other customers in the store looked surprised but no one did anything, other than gape at us.

I didn't really say much. What was there to say? He seemed to know what he was doing and I knew damn well what I wanted. Words would just get in the way. Besides, I'm not the kind of girl to kiss and tell or ask names or much of anything else.

We ended up going to his place. It's not the home of a neat freak that's for sure. But, since he made a beeline for the bed I didn't spend much time looking around. I did notice this computer and I wondered if we had ever met online. Maybe this would really be our second date. But, I didn't have time to ask him if he was into cyber sex. He was yanking off my clothes as if I were some mannequin or blow up doll. Now that I think about it, I can see some suspicious looking plastic under his bed.

Anyway, the sex was good. Fast, hard and deep. He rocked my world for about 15 minutes. At least I did manage to have an orgasm before he passed out.

So, here I am. My shirt got ripped so I've taken one from his closet. So far I haven't found my other boot. I did find his wallet though. His name's Wally, of all things. I can't believe I slept with a Wally. Well, now you know.