I'd been looking after my aging parents for years. Along the way I became an old woman myself. My parents became unwell and died and I thought I would have some time to find my life and get it back again after all these years. My siblings had come for the funerals. I was glad to see them, and some of their families again.

It had been a long time since I really had time to myself. So, I went out for a coffee, walked there alone, read a book for awhile and then came back home again.

My siblings had a dumpster in the driveway and were tossing everything into it. Everything, my parents belongings and my own. "What do you need all that stuff for?" "You just have too much stuff!" "Won't you feel so much better without all this useless, old stuff?"

They had also planned what would be done with the house, forgetting that I was included in the will and would have half of the value of it as payment, or thanks, for looking after our parents for so many years.

They planned what I would do, what I was allowed to keep... even all my decorations for Halloween and Christmas were disposed of. My books, all but the one I had been reading that day. My kitchen appliances, the French press coffee maker and the coffee beans, my furniture, even my bed and all the sheets and blankets. They had decided to throw it all away.

I was devastated. Years of looking after our parents had made me quiet, almost dormant. In shock, I was silent and stunned. I didn't say anything.

Then... they pulled out a large box with the local discount department store logo on it.

"Look what we found... its so comfortable looking and takes up so little space. It could fit in someone's garage, though we haven't decided who will take it."

It was a coffin.

"It's big enough for you to live in. Isn't that something?!"

They had taken away everything and expected me to live in a coffin, until I died.

Some days this is how I feel. Family keep making decisions for me, deciding they know better. They throw out or give away things that matter to me. With no family of my own, no children, husband, not even a cat... what I have is literally all I have. I do feel it would be just so convenient for them all if I just lived in a coffin until I died.

How many of these superstitions have you done? I can pick out at least four which I have done. One I knew was iffy but I reasoned it away as being okay.

Do you know others which did not make this list?

• Never county the number of cars in a funeral procession.
• Never point at a funeral procession, its bad luck.
• Never take flowers from a grave.
• If you spill salt, immediately throw some over your left shoulder to keep the Devil at bay.
• An owl hooting outside of your window for three nights in a row foretells a death – yours of someone close to you.
• Here are some other death superstitions you may have heard.

Death superstitions involving nature:

• Flowers will grow on the grave of someone who lived a good line. Only weeds grow on the grave of someone who was evil.
• If a bird flies into your window, there has been a death.
• If you see an owl during the day, there will be a death close to you.
• An owl hooting outside of your window for three nights in a row foretells a death, yours of someone close to you.
• If lightening strikes near the house when someone is dying, the devil has come for their soul.
• If it rains in an open grave, it’s bad luck for the family.
• If there is a thunderstorm during a funeral, the deceased has gone to hell.
• If there is thunder following a burial then the deceased has reached heaven.

Physical death superstitions:

• Hold your breath when passing a graveyard so evil can’t enter.
• Another version is: If you don’t hold your breath when passing a cemetery, you will not be buried.
• If you have an involuntary shiver, someone has just walked over your grave.
• If you cast a headless shadow then you will die in the next year.
• If you lie down in a coffin you are taunting death to come and take you.
• Never whistle in a graveyard, you are summoning the Devil.
• Never wear anything new to a funeral. (Shoes seem to have particular significance.)
• Coins should be placed on the eyes of the deceased to pay the ferryman, Charon, to row the departed across the underworld river Styx.

Death superstitions in your home:

• Howling dogs in the night signify that someone ill in the house will die soon.
• If a picture suddenly falls off of the wall, someone you know has died.
• You should stop all clocks in the house where someone dies or it will bring bad luck.
• Open a window in the room when someone dies so that they can move on.
• Cover all mirrors after a death – so that the soul doesn’t get trapped in them.
• A casket must be carried out with the deceased’s feet first.

Death and the number 3:

• If you hear three knocks and no one is there, someone close to you has died.
• If only 3 candles are lit in a room, the person closest to the shortest candle will be the first to die.
• Death comes in threes.

Death superstitions about the graveyard:

• A metal cross on a grave will hold the spirit there.
• A body should be placed in the grave with its head to the west and feet to the east so that when it rises up it will face the sun. Never remove anything from a gravesite.
• It is bad luck to walk on graves.
• It is bad luck to trip when you’re in a cemetery.
• Being buried on the north side of the church is considered unlucky because of the lack of sun. That area is usually reserved for criminals and suicides.
• It is bad luck to go into a cemetery at night, or to be there at the stroke of midnight.

This list is from Joy Neighbors - A Grave Interest

Does anyone still make their own headstone? Is it even allowed if people are buried in a public/ commercial cemetery? I think you would have to be buried on private (most likely family owned) property. Also, it could be a memorial headstone and not in the place where someone is buried.

The idea of making your own headstone is interesting. You would need to know how to make them, especially how to make them to last a hundred years or so.

There are guides for making temporary headstones/ gravestones for Halloween and creepy themed events. That's not likely something you want for a family member (or even a pet).

The main options are wood, cement, or stone. Cement could work and be easier to create something by mixing the cement then pouring into a mould you have made, or bought. Wood should be much easier to carve or write on, but it won't be as enduring as cement or stone. A stone marker could just be a big rock. Attach a plaque to it instead of trying to become a stone mason or engraver over night. Of course, there are pros and cons for each of them. Plan ahead.

What does a headstone need to say?

• Name
• Date of birth
• Date of death
• Sentiments, including "beloved wife, mother, sister..." or "in memory of..."
• What else? Just don't forget you won't be the only one to see it and it will probably be around longer than you will. What you write reflects on yourself as much, or more, than who you write about.

Headstone, tombstone, gravestone...?

Although the terms "headstone," "gravestone," and "tombstone" are often used interchangeably, they actually have slightly different historical meanings. A headstone is the vertical stone that marks the head of the grave, and a tombstone was originally a stone that sat on top of a coffin (like a stone lid). A gravestone is a flat stone that lies on the grave.

From the site, Love to Know.

Facebook Group: Homemade Headstones

Liquid cremation sounds like an option to having bodies burned in cremation, instead of fire this uses water. Instead of having burned bodies in the air from fires we have dissolved bodies in our water. That is the part I find unsettling. (I still drink tap water - though I'm pretty sure a lot of bottled water isn't from some pristine brook in the back of nowhere). Of course the water will be filtered, just as I hope the air would be in cremations. But, air seems easier to filter than water. Just my thought, I don't know if its true.

Would you choose to be cremated by water? There is more to think about than just the science of it. Still, its something to think about, an option to burning.

our bodies are nothing but bags of live bacteria and dead cells. We can attempt to slow our decay (embalming), or we can preempt it with a destructive blaze (cremation). We can also dissolve our bodies with lye, using an increasingly popular procedure called alkaline hydrolysis.

Alkaline hydrolysis - also known as liquid cremation or water cremation or bio-cremation - one of the cheapest and most environmentally-friendly forms of dealing with a cadaver.

One way to think about it is that alkaline hydrolysis rapidly speeds up the ordinary decay process using heat, pressure, and an alkaline substance such as potassium hydroxide or sodium hydroxide. The body is put inside a steel vessel with 80 gallons or so of water that is heated up to 300 degrees—killing any microbes and even destroying prions responsible for the human version of mad cow disease. After an hour or two, most of the body dissolved into liquid. The remaining bone is ground up into ash.

With air pollution, lack of space, and carbon emissions making traditional burial methods even more problematic, alkaline hydrolysis is poised to become the method of choice.

Paraphrased from What Is Liquid Cremation and Why Is It Illegal?