Does anyone still make their own headstone? Is it even allowed if people are buried in a public/ commercial cemetery? I think you would have to be buried on private (most likely family owned) property. Also, it could be a memorial headstone and not in the place where someone is buried.

The idea of making your own headstone is interesting. You would need to know how to make them, especially how to make them to last a hundred years or so.

There are guides for making temporary headstones/ gravestones for Halloween and creepy themed events. That's not likely something you want for a family member (or even a pet).

The main options are wood, cement, or stone. Cement could work and be easier to create something by mixing the cement then pouring into a mould you have made, or bought. Wood should be much easier to carve or write on, but it won't be as enduring as cement or stone. A stone marker could just be a big rock. Attach a plaque to it instead of trying to become a stone mason or engraver over night. Of course, there are pros and cons for each of them. Plan ahead.

What does a headstone need to say?

• Name
• Date of birth
• Date of death
• Sentiments, including "beloved wife, mother, sister..." or "in memory of..."
• What else? Just don't forget you won't be the only one to see it and it will probably be around longer than you will. What you write reflects on yourself as much, or more, than who you write about.

Headstone, tombstone, gravestone...?

Although the terms "headstone," "gravestone," and "tombstone" are often used interchangeably, they actually have slightly different historical meanings. A headstone is the vertical stone that marks the head of the grave, and a tombstone was originally a stone that sat on top of a coffin (like a stone lid). A gravestone is a flat stone that lies on the grave.

From the site, Love to Know.

Facebook Group: Homemade Headstones

Liquid cremation sounds like an option to having bodies burned in cremation, instead of fire this uses water. Instead of having burned bodies in the air from fires we have dissolved bodies in our water. That is the part I find unsettling. (I still drink tap water - though I'm pretty sure a lot of bottled water isn't from some pristine brook in the back of nowhere). Of course the water will be filtered, just as I hope the air would be in cremations. But, air seems easier to filter than water. Just my thought, I don't know if its true.

Would you choose to be cremated by water? There is more to think about than just the science of it. Still, its something to think about, an option to burning.

our bodies are nothing but bags of live bacteria and dead cells. We can attempt to slow our decay (embalming), or we can preempt it with a destructive blaze (cremation). We can also dissolve our bodies with lye, using an increasingly popular procedure called alkaline hydrolysis.

Alkaline hydrolysis - also known as liquid cremation or water cremation or bio-cremation - one of the cheapest and most environmentally-friendly forms of dealing with a cadaver.

One way to think about it is that alkaline hydrolysis rapidly speeds up the ordinary decay process using heat, pressure, and an alkaline substance such as potassium hydroxide or sodium hydroxide. The body is put inside a steel vessel with 80 gallons or so of water that is heated up to 300 degrees—killing any microbes and even destroying prions responsible for the human version of mad cow disease. After an hour or two, most of the body dissolved into liquid. The remaining bone is ground up into ash.

With air pollution, lack of space, and carbon emissions making traditional burial methods even more problematic, alkaline hydrolysis is poised to become the method of choice.

Paraphrased from What Is Liquid Cremation and Why Is It Illegal?

Two of the interview questions from the Cemetery Travel site. Read the interviews and find more questions on the site.

What’s your favorite thing to do in a cemetery?

What would your epitaph be?

If I were younger and still more romantic, my favourite thing to do in a cemetery would be a picnic. You would need to come prepared, not just the usual picnic things. You might check in with the people who maintain the land and be sure a picnic is welcome there.

Next, once you are there, find a good spot. Cemetery land tends to be knobby and bumpy. You might think its all manicured, perfect cared for lawns, its not always the case. Usually they are knobby due to insects, weeds, and no doubt other things I don't know about. You won't want too much shade or sun and a sunny day will at least save you from mosquitos.

I would not plan it as a Gothic looking thing. I don't see it as a gloomy event.

Now, at this age, I like visiting cemeteries just for photography. Finding the oldest stones, even those I can't read due to weathering or plant growth. Sometimes I can read them better from the photograph I take. I also look for ornate carved or sculpted stones. I especially like those with stone flowers. Its nice to see what people have planted around the stones too, or if they have left pennies, pebbles or other little mementos on the gravestone.

I'm not ready to write my epitaph. I'd like to visit, as a ghost or whatever is available, and read what others have written.

Listening to people, family, and the media go on about your life and health as you get older, some days it feels like living with a jack-in-the-box. Any time it could pop up and that's it your time is up. I'm going to be 60 at the end of this year. I do wonder how many days I still have. I don't feel stressed about it but, I don't like it.

I wonder if there have been people who also didn't like the unknown date lurking in their future. Has anyone ever decided they didn't like the suspense and chosen their own expiry date? Not due to despair, or ill health. Just because you don't want to leave it random and unknown.

I don't think its suicide. It's not a decision made due to sadness, or ill health. I don't think its morbid either. Younger people may see it that way. Your experience is different. But, unless immortality becomes an option, I think its entirely reasonable.

Compare it to doctors deciding a birth date for babies by scheduling a caesarian for women. They don't know what the real birth date would have been, if the baby had been left in the womb until it made its own way, in its own time. I think choosing your own death date would be the same really.

You could have all your affairs in order, make sure your will is done right, write instructions for your funeral, burial, or whatever you want done with your leftover body. Decide where your possessions go, are distributed, knowing there isn't much of anything you can take with you. Spend that extra time with family and friends you've kept meaning to visit but didn't make time for. If you are a bucket list person, finish your list. Find a good spot and plant a tree! Otherwise, do those things you'd like to have done, travel to those places you would have liked to see, knowing your plan for how many days you've decided you have left.

In the end, you might choose to extend the date. There would be not reason you couldn't. That alone would be a good reason not to tell anyone else about what you're doing and the cut off date. Who wants someone reminding you about it. You might change your mind entirely. But, if you wanted to stick to your date and not keep waiting for it to come along and happen to you - why shouldn't a person take their own fate in their own hands and choose their last day for themselves?