Originally posted to Adult BackWash: Tuesday April 01, 2003  

I posted to an email list for a local BDSM group. They are having a munch in a few days and I thought I would introduce myself and let them know I was thinking to attend. That might sound arrogant, but I'm a bit shy of meeting a group of people in a downtown bar. I'm not the bar type, wallflowers generally go to events where people aren't "getting wasted" or giving up their inhibitions and self control. We actually like polite gatherings like tea parties, church bazaars and garden shows.

Anyway, I had three emails in reply, off the list. One (the first I read) was great, a very nice welcome to the list and encouragement to attend and not feel out of place. I appreciated that one. It was, first of all, kind and second of all respectful of me as a person.

The other two emails made me feel under attack. How could someone, a grown up, send a list of his sexual demands and preferences to a perfect stranger, unasked? No introduction, or any kind of greeting/ salutation, just right to the gritty stuff. It was impersonal form mail with typos and grammar mistakes. It was rude or at the very least extremely impolite. I did not ask for any kind of onslaught but I certainly got it.

I was angry and a little upset. It was certainly disconcerting to be shown into some strange man's bedroom without ever seeing the front door. Do they think every female is a hooker or just treat them all that way? At the scent of a woman they pounced, eagerly listing all their desires, demands and what they expect in a woman.

Well, I didn't ask!!! What's more, I don't even want to know. I don't want to know how much you like bondage, sex toys, what your limits are and how eager you are to be Dommed. Before you tell me all your sexual needs how about telling me who the F**K you are!!!

More than that... how about having some interest in who I am. Obviously they can have no real interest in me. They asked nothing about who I am, what I like, what I do, etc. Obviously, they don't care if I sometimes feel vulnerable and find it hard to trust people. Obviously, I don't matter as I'm only something they can use to masturbate with.

Anyway, I definitely feel rattled by the attack emails. I don't know if I will go to the munch. I don't want the live version of attack emails. Can you imagine walking into a room, feeling nervous, unsure and suddenly having two men stick their cocks in your face? Don't laugh, that's how it feels.

PS- For those who read these columns expecting stroke fodder, piss off. There is a lot more to life and people.

PPS - Yes, I'm angry. Bite me.

Originally posted to Adult BackWash, October 29, 2002.

I was messaged out of the blue while downloading a file on a site with a chat feature. I hadn't even realized it was there until the little window popped up. As soon as I read the standard "asl?" I knew it was yet another troll expecting me to amuse him. I've been online long enough to know better. I'm past hunting for male companionship on the Internet, no, I just bait the trolls...

asl?

What?

Age sex location?

I'm female.

Got a pic?

A picture you mean? No, I don't have anything scanned.

What do you look like?

Brunette, blue eyes, 5'4, 130 lbs.

What are your measurements?

I have big tits. My bra size is a D cup. I have a great ass.

My cock is 8 inches. 24m

I'm 37.

That's ok. I love older women.

Editors note: I was so glad it was OK with him.

Really?

Sure.

Why?

They treat me well, buy me things and are great in bed.

Ok. What do they get out of it?

Huh?

What does the woman get out of you?

A great fuck

Are you sure?

What?

Are you sure the woman gets a great fuck? Couldn't she pick up some other boy and get a better fuck? Do you have references from women you have fucked in the past?

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Nothing. You started this conversation. I'm just trying not to get bored.

Bitch!

Editors note: Somehow they get upset when I don't co-operate with their whole image of the Internet as a place to pick up women. Still amazes me how they really expect every woman they message to be desperate and drooling all over them, eager for phone or cyber sex. Like we can't do better than some other woman's left over crumbs or an overly eager beaver boy.

One of the many things that bugs me about this dickhead behaviour is the pic collection each of them have from women who might actually be hoping they have met someone who would care about them. But, all these dickheads want is another notch on their monitor, another female picture to add to the pile they can brag about to the other dickheads later.

Troll baiting is better than just getting mad. For a minute, it's like getting even.