Nice to find this mostly forgotten blog by Erin Dunphy today.  It all turned out well. 

1000 Days of Celibacy

This is an interesting list. I read it as men wanting forgiveness when they don't meet a woman's needs but still expect sex and intimacy in spite of all that.

What women want:

1. Loving devotion in a committed relationship.

2. Thoughtful, honest behavior.

3. Generosity of spirit.

4. Satisfying sex.

What men want:

1. Sex.

2. Freedom.

3. Forgiveness.

4. Appreciation.

Source: The Top 4 Romantic Wishes of Men and Women | Psychology Today

Look at where sex comes in on both lists. If women were getting more commitment, appreciation and romance, sex would be higher on their list too.

Maybe a new Viagra for women isn't going to change anything. (Just a thought).

On the other hand, reading just the men's list, they seem to want to be Teflon. Have sex, forget about us, be forgiven and appreciated for... what exactly?

Now men will protest and say I'm unfair. So lets read down the women's list the same way. Women seem to want someone they can appreciate and then have sex with. Women want a man to be with them, be honest and share life with them - that's the person they could appreciate and have sex with. Funny that appreciation is at the bottom of the list for men. Don't men care what we think?

See, it is an interesting list.

• I'm giving you a massage tonight.
• Just thinking about how gorgeous you are.
• I. Love. You.
• I want to kiss you all over.
• I'm picking you up after work.
• The rest of the evening is a surprise.
• What I would give to be holding you right now.
• You're incredible. In case I haven't told you that lately.
• I'm still thinking about how radiant you looked this morning.
• You are the sexiest woman I've ever known.
• I adore you.

I know you can do better than my list and I want to help all the hapless men out there whose idea of a sexy text is: "What r u up 2? LOL."

via Dear Men, Here Are 10 Texts You Can Send the Woman in Your Life Right Now to Make Her Day - xoJane. (The link is broken now).

Why does romance have to be dead? I can remember being at work and imagining I had someone who would send me a note like this. That was before mobile phones so, of course, my note would have been delivered along with flowers (or in person).

On the other hand... I was a client in an office when a full bouquet of flowers were delivered to one of the men there. They were from his girlfriend, not for any special reason. I've never forgotten how touched he was, even a little emotional.

So, romance is not dead and romance is not just for men or women to be the givers. Anyone in love can instigate some romance. For no special reason at all. Just show them they are special - that's the reason.

I've been disillusioned about men online before, many times. But, reading the posts to #ByeFelipe is just sad. Some people will write about this site (the hashtag has an Instagram, Twitter and Facebook page) and complain or rant about men. Then there will be angry men who leave ignorant comments - men of the #ByeFelipe caliber.

#ByeFelipe showcases the dating scene online and how men respond to women who say no.

The strange thing is how little the men put into these interactions and how aggressive they become when the women don't give them what they want. Most settle into calling the women names: fat, whore, ugly, bitch, etc. I read one where he threatened to keep harassing her until she sent him nude photos of herself.  This is based on a one time, often one sentence, contact.

#ByeFelipe is sickening to read through. I laughed at first but it got less funny as I thought of all the men doing this and wondered about the men I know. Men I wouldn't suspect of this and yet... these men are all sons, brothers, uncles, husbands (no doubt in some cases).

We think the men writing this are ignorant due to their attitude and poor/ lazy spelling. We think they are jerks due to the aggression which comes far too easily. We don't think of these men as someone we know (and like). We don't think of these as the men we respect. But, we don't know and that's the problem.

These men pretend to be friendly, sincere and interested and then turn on her as soon as she isn't interested. Obviously there is no honesty or sincerity in their first contact then. These men would be a very bad risk to actually meet. So how do women risk meeting any men? Unfortunately this is what men don't seem to understand. They think they are all good guys and it's not their fault women are... (fill in the blank).

One last note: how much of this attitude could be changed if women were not shown as provocative in order to market products? If women were not seen as the sex in sex sells maybe men wouldn't think every woman should be available to have sex with them. Maybe even these men could see women as people rather than sex toys. Maybe men could treat (and think of) women like people even if they are not serving a sexual purpose for them.

Read more about #ByeFelipe and the interview with the founder.

How will it really be when humans and robots live together? I'd like to date a robot man but I think it's not for all the best reasons. Also, I imagine an idealized version of the male robot. It could all be a pipe dream.