No matter what we tell others or deny to ourselves, we all want to be one of the popular people. One of those blogs which seem to have endless faithful readers. One of those blogs people are commenting on almost as soon as a fresh post is published. One of those blogs you know everyone will link to, refer to and praise as being so great, wonderful and fabulous. But, how do you get from here to there? How do you become one of the popular bloggers? It isn't something anyone or everyone can do. A lot of it takes personality - if you are introverted the social part with be hard for you. Still, there's nothing keeping you from trying and seeing how close you can get to reaching your lofty goal. Don't get discouraged. Not everyone can find fame and fortune. You may get to the point where you find your plateau and realize you are happy right there. Goals should never be so rigid you can't change them to suit yourself. They are after all, your goals, for you.

• Don't give up!
• Stay focused!
• Be friendly!

Don't Give Up Too Soon

Getting a site off the ground takes time. Even if your site is a few years old but you have not been active in the niche community of your site, you are going to need to give yourself time to find your feet and build those social connections.

Take a weekend sabbatical because you shouldn't push yourself so much that you burn out too soon. But, don't give up too easily. If you take more than a weekend off you will lose momentum. Treat blogging like a job with a regular work day. Once you have done your 9 to 5 take the rest of the day off and keep your weekends free.

Focus on One Niche Topic

Pick a niche and stick with it.

You may fear not having enough to write about. So, take paper and pen and brainstorm a list of ideas in your niche. Give yourself an hour or jot down notes over the day as you go along. How many ideas did you get? Review them and see which are not as relevant, which are related to your niche and which are just what you want to write about. A niche can be flexible. Consider seasonal posts which are still relevant content but have a seasonal spin.

A niche does not have to be restrictive. But, it may seem that way if you don't have enough knowledge or really love the topic, theme or niche. Over the long haul you need both knowledge, resources and passion to sustain a blog. You also need the focus to keep on topic so readers will know what to expect and come back for more. If you stray too far out of your niche too often you lose credibility and that nice predictability readers are looking for.

Having said that you really do need a great writing voice. Your own personality should shine through your words. Your own experiences, opinions and ideas will engage readers and make them feel they are connected to a real person. You need to become your niche and don't be afraid to show some humour too. Think about the blogs you read versus those you just skim.

Be Engaging and Encourage Interaction with Readers

Engage readers and encourage comments.

Remember you are writing to people. Think about others as you write. Ask them questions, encourage them to give feedback. Leave open ended posts where readers have something to add rather than just the bland, good post, I agree, sort of comments. Stir things up in some way to give people a reason to leave you a note.

When someone does comment follow up on it. Find out who they are, check their own blogs (if they have one) and find them on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, and so on. You can choose to follow them or not. Don't automatically follow everyone. Be sincere in who you follow and stick to people you have a reason to want to get to know or find out about.

Keep Them Reading

Get writing and then make sure your posts are easy to find on your site. Promote your own links to relevant and related content on your posts. In the sidebar you can gets lists of your most popular posts, most commented on posts and even your posts from a year (or years) ago. Give people more to read and they won't read one post and move on so quickly. Also, you are showing your own knowledge and authority in your niche.

Don't forget tags and categories. These are a great way to build an index to the content on your site. Tags can cover more ground, smaller and more focused topics. Categories should be limited to the main ideas you want to write about. Think of categories as a table of contents in a non-fiction book. While tags are more like the big index in the back. Both categories and tags, and the search you should also use, give readers the ability to find more of your related content.

Learn to Love Social Media

Make sure readers can follow you and repost your links too.

There are a large variety of widgets you can add to your blog for social media sharing and getting followers. What's a great way to get someone to follow you back? Let them know you followed them and why you did. Everyone likes to know you actually followed them for a reason (other than wanting to beef up your own numbers). Plus, people who have a lot of followers usually don't notice the addition of someone new. So announcing yourself, in a positive way, is a great way to get followed back and likely get your blog noticed too.

Be Active in the Online Community

Get to know other bloggers and those who work for other sites and social media.

This is not easy for me. I'm very much an introvert and I like not being too social. However, if you set yourself the goal of becoming a big fish you need to be a joiner and keep your accounts active. Not just Twitter, the odd repost to Tumblr or StumbleUpon. You need to jump right in there with both feet and become a social butterfly.

Build up your small talk skills. Learn more about the art of conversation. Even though the medium is not face to face your sincerity will show through. So work on becoming socially skilled and do your best to shine.

Of course, there is the other extreme, the troll. Know where the limits fall. Don't become the person who has to have something to say about everything, always has to make their opinion known and makes everything about themselves. If you find yourself taking over too many conversations in the forums step back and take a full day off. Decide to not even read a few of the forum threads. Set limits you (and others) can live with.

Not everyone will want to try things like blog fairs, carnivals, memes and such. But, these are a great way to break the ice and meet your fellow bloggers.

If there is a particular blogger or group you want to notice you, write a review of their site and talk about what they do and what you like about them. Share the link via social media.

Write Outside the Blog

Guest blogging gets a lot of mention but I'm not wild about it. As a blogger I tend to get awful posts in the name of guest blogging. People ask me for space on my site before knowing (or caring) what I post about. I have had amazingly terrible submissions. Never accept a guest blogging post unless it really works for your niche and you actually think your readers will want to have the information or the point of view the guest blogger is promoting. Of course, check any links they want you to post. Check them at the HTML level to be sure you aren't getting more than you expected.

As someone trying to find a place to guest blog... it isn't easy. Most bloggers have not had great experiences with guest blogging. Many won't even read requests because so many of them are useless. So, you have a real up hill battle to get your foot in the door and even be heard. Start by leaving comments (good comments) in the blog you want to guest blog for. Get noticed for something you are doing right and then, when you do have your foot in the door, suggest writing a post for them.

An alternative to guest blogging is to write for networks. They do seem to be disappearing but HubPages and others which are still pretty new, are still around. Get your feet wet, create a profile you can link to with good posts. Build up a readership and direct them to your own site as a source for extra information and more resources.

Both guest blogging and network blogging will give you links to your own site from an outside source. As you write more posts on outside sources you will be giving yourself a nice selection of links back to your site and the search bots (and actual human readers) will find you.

People expect a cashier to be friendly, quick and accurate. Cashiers try to be all of those but it's not so simple. The job of cashier is not as simplistic as it seems on the surface, from the other side of the retail counter.

Cashiers will gripe about customers. You can read about that online if you want to. I actually liked being a cashier (most of the time) and I found nearly all my customers were easy to work with. The focus of the cashier is the transaction. Make sure the customer has what they need and be friendly but we always have the store management looking over our shoulder too. The store will tell cashiers the customer is their first priority but, that isn't what they really mean. For me this was the part of working in customer service which I did not like.

Overall, I did like helping people, making sure they left with what they needed and (if I was having a good day) I could even see them leave the store feeling better than when they came in.

The following are points which can help both the cashier and the customer. If you want a speedier check out, friendlier service or more service read all of this and keep it in mind next time you are shopping. You can help yourself to get more from the cashier, if you plan ahead and use some common courtesy for the cashier and your fellow shoppers too.

Conversation

Conversation is nice. It breaks up my day and cashiers are encouraged to interact with customers. But, we also get pressure to keep the line moving, to not say the wrong thing and promote more purchases. As a cashier conversation is tricky.

I had to learn to ignore the line up. There was no other way to be friendly and not feel over pressured, impatient or rushed. I did have customers who came in and ended up staying too long. I was good at starting a conversation and... I really did get personal satisfaction in turning someone's mood around.

Still, the management would put pressure on me to use this time to get people to buy more, apply for credit cards, gift cards and so on.

Also, cashiers are given a formula and the management does not like it when cashiers stray from that formula. Skipping steps, taking extra time with customers are not appreciated by management. Yet, they also tell us to make the customer feel welcome, appreciated and not rushed.

Bags and Packing

Packing up items was something I grew to like. It became a challenge to fit everything in just right, in good order, safely without making the bag too heavy - or using too many bags.

I've since seen some creative bag packing when I am a shopper. One cashier put the heavy bags of milk (that's how it comes in Ontario) on the bottom and the eggs on top. Creative... but not so practical. Milk tends to flop around in a bag. Eggs, being lighter, tend to sink lower in the bag. This is not such a great combination in one bag. Maybe the cashier was bored and wanted to pay a game. I caught it and was careful how I got that bag out to the car, up the stairs and into the house. Someone else probably had broken eggs.

Packing up bags isn't just important for groceries. Clothing needs to be folded and not put in the same bag with anything possibly leaking or heavy. No one wants to get home and discover their laundry soap was not capped as well as they thought in the bag.

Bagging is an art. A creative art but a science too.

You can help the cashier and make it go faster by putting things out in order. Keep frozen stuff together. Keep light and heavy things sorted out. You don't have to think too much, just be aware in case your cashier isn't.

If you change your mind about something while at the check out just give it to the cashier. We have a place under the counter for anything like that. Please don't leave items around the counter, on candy shelves and such - especially groceries which can spoil or small items which roll under something or be stepped on/ tripped over by someone else.

Give the Cashier Some Space (Especially When you're Sick)

Please, if you are shopping because you took the day off work due to illness - please don't lean in to talk to me. Please wash your hands and don't touch me. I only get paid if I show up for work. This means any sick days I take off due to illnesses I catch from customers cost me money. This means I'm making even less per week at what is already not a well paid job.

If you must go shopping when you are sick - keep your germs to yourself.

I don't really understand why people want to come out to stores when they could be home watching televisions, goofing around online or just enjoying a day to themselves while everyone else is at school or work. But, many, many, many people do wind up visiting cashiers and sharing their colds, viruses, bacteria, infections.

At the very least - don't lean in close or take hold of my sleeve to draw me near to you when you know you're sick with something contagious.

On a side note, don't lean on the counter from behind me either. Sick or not. When the store is busy and line ups are packed the last thing an over-worked cashier needs is to feel she has no space, is crowded and become claustrophobic This happened to me during one Christmas holiday. People kept pressing in closer and closer and then some guy, leaning on the half wall next to me, actually jabbed his elbow into my head (accidentally but he did not even bother to see if I was ok). It was all I could do to last to the end of my shift that day, actually my shift plus an extra four hours for another cashier who didn't show up.

Overall, please respect the cashier and give her (or him) some space.

Don't Ask or Expect the Cashier to Leave the Register/ Counter

Understand that I am not supposed to (or allowed) to leave my register unless I have signed off. I can not leave to help you carry things out to your car, or pick up something broken or any other of a thousand things. This is especially true if I am the only cashier at the time. Try the customer service desk, if there is one.

I would like to help you. I would really like to get away from standing hours in the same place too. But, I'm just a cog in the wheel and I can't abandon my counter or cash register until I sign out and leave it locked with another cashier available to keep working.

Of course, there are exceptions for emergencies. But, even then I have to lock up because I will be held responsible if I don't.

Please don't abandon your shopping cart in the way of other shoppers after you have gone through the line. I will have to sign out of the register and walk around (usually the long way) and then return the cart to where ever it needs to go. This holds up the line but I can't have people tripping over the cart or letting it be cluttering up the front of the store.

Sale Prices and Damaged Goods

A cashier should study the store flyer, the sales for the week before she starts for the day. However, this does not always happen during holiday rushes. I was often asked to start an hour early and stay an hour or four late. My breaks were cut to five minutes instead of 15 due to things beyond my control. There was no time to study the sale prices until I was actually behind the counter with customers who expected me to already know the sales.

If you have a flyer with the sale price bring it up. That did help. The store I worked at would allow the cashiers some discrepancy about sale prices, damaged goods and just promoting good feelings with customers.

Do not throw a fit and become loud and demanding. Trust me, this does not actually work with every cashier. It never worked with me. I would just become angry myself and politely deny all their requests and demands. I did not owe them a sale price just because they insisted they were right (when they had only their own say-so).

Have your coupons ready. If you want to do price matching tell me at the start of the transaction. This makes it easier for me to sort things out for the computer. Some stores may still want coupons processed differently, in a manual way. So this will take extra time but it is not a bother - if you give us notice. Lately I have seen stores which are able to jut scan the coupons and the computer catches the items and adds the sale price. The department store I worked at was a bit hit or miss this way. I would make sure the sale price went through if I knew about it ahead.

Don't Interrupt Another Customer Unless someone has passed out in line, or a child is lost or a fire has broken out... it is really very disrespectful and impolite to interrupt another customer when they are being served. I never liked this, it was boorish and rude and though I could not ignore the person, I would not drop everything to help them either

If you need directions or some other assistance find a store employee who is available. In my case, the customer service desk was just steps away but people would sometimes just push their way past the customer I was helping and expect I would help them instead. For me, the customer I was actually dealing with was my focus and I would get rid of the interloper as quickly as I could. I did not always take the time to help them as well as I could have if they had just waited their turn - or at least waited until I was finished with the customer and had not yet started the next.

Cell Phones and Other Distractions

Don't expect great customer service if you come to my counter talking to someone else. Cell phones especially, I'm not sure if you are talking to me or your phone.

It can be tricky dealing with a group of people at the counter. Parents with small children may be distracted watching them, this is understandable, to a point. Children who are out of control are not something I can deal with for you. I can't give them free gifts, make them promises or give them stern warnings. I will keep them from sitting on my counter, taking bags or abusing me. No cashier has to put up with physical abuse from any customer, or their children.

A group of people at the cash is always a bit of confusion. I try to keep track of the person who is actually the customer, the one I am checking out at the moment. If the person is talking and goofing around with friends and not paying attention, I just do the best I can.

10 Items or Less and Express Lines

The idea of express lines is to help speed things up for people who want to get in and out and not wait behind someone who has bought more or wants to take time to chat with the cashier, debate about sales and so on. Please respect your fellow shoppers and stick to the right line.

As a cashier, I'm there for my shift whether everyone in the express line has 10 items or 100. I may not be impressed but I will go ahead and keep working. I leave it up to the other customers to give you the evil eye.

On a slightly related note - if you are my first customer of the day I will not be able to break a $100 bill or a $50. Just take it to customer service and they can get whoever is managing the cash to bring you smaller bills. I won't have them until at least an hour after my shift has started. Cashiers start with a float of cash. That amount has actually become smaller as debit and credit cards are used far more often than cash.

While I'm typing about cash... I can't give you rolls of quarters. Check with customer service though but best of all - ask at the bank where they have the money stashed.

If you are shopping on Seniors Day and want the discount, tell the cashier. It is really awful to ask someone is they are a senior and find out they are not.

Animals in the Store

Some cashiers like pets. Some are allergic to pets. I'm allergic to pets. Don't bring them into the store if they are not welcome and please do not expect every cashier to serve you when you bring livestock. Your pets are your little friends, not mine. They are not customers and never will be.

You may have though it was cute or clever to carry your pet around in the merchandise but now you need to pay for it. Don't take something clean and leave the chewed, dirty or hair covered item for someone else to buy. No one will ever buy something your pet has mangled in the store, or as a return.

I'm not going to mark down an item your animal has wrecked either. So don't ask.

Interact with the Cashier (We Like to be Friendly)

You may be having a really bad day, feeling deeply depressed or just want to be alone in the world. I don't know your personal situation but, please just once during the transaction look up at me. I don't need you to be entertaining but I do like to at least have a moment of eye contact.

Having typed this, I do understand not interacting with people you come across. Being too worn out to make the effort. Being too upset or sad to want to put yourself out there. Still, people who could not at least look at me were worse than people who tried to scam, yell or anything else.

Make a second of eye contact. You don't even have to smile.

Where Is... Getting Directions in the Store

A good cashier, or one who has been working in the store awhile, often does know where a lot of things are and what the store does (or does not) carry. So, I never minded people asking for help to find something. (If they waited for me to be between customers). I liked how well I could answer these questions. Not every cashier does. Some may be new or just never look around before or after their shift.

Many stores, like department stores, will have customer service people on the floor who can also help with directions and finding items. This was actually a job I did for awhile in a department store. (There was a lot of walking and running involved). See if you can find someone like this to help you if the cashiers are busy. Customer service is also there for the same reason. They even get a map of the store so they aren't just relying on their own personal knowledge of the store and the items sold in the store.

Also, try not to ask store staff for help if they are wearing a jacket over their uniform, or carrying their purse, etc. These are likely staff who are off the clock and may be cranky, tired or any of a lot of emotions which will not lead to friendly customer service. Of course, if you really need help anyone should be human enough to help you and there is no reason (even a double shift) for someone to at least find someone who is on the clock to take the time to help you.

Say something relevant to the post itself. Come up with a comment more interesting than “I agree” or “Me too”. It’s not that tough to stretch out a thought beyond two words. Why do you agree with the post? What was your own experience? Most blog comments are on the short side. Find a bit more to say and make yours longer to stand out. A longer comment also gives the feeling you are interested in the post and the blogger and able to string together ideas yourself. Others are more likely to click on the link to your blog if you seem to be someone who can write and write well.

A blog post looking for advice or answers is a great time to get noticed. If you know of a resource, have an opinion, or experience that would help leave that in comments. Give a link to the resource if it is online, even if it is your own site. However, if it is your own site make that clear. That way the blog owner and readers will know you aren’t just spamming your URL, it’s posted for a valid reason.

On the other side of giving information, ask a question yourself. What would you like to know more about? What detail or information might have been left out of the post? Think of a real question, not fluff just to leave a comment.

Be supportive and uplifting and sincere. Everyone is glad to have a comment that spreads good cheer and brightens their day. You can’t smile at others through your comment but you can send a smile in text. If you can’t be uplifting don’t be a wet blanket and do not be obnoxious. That should not even need to be said.

Write with personality, passion and humour. Don’t leave a bland comment that could have been written by half a million other bloggers. Come up with something uniquely you. Maybe a different turn of phrase. How about a funny anecdote. Maybe part of a quote relevant to the post if you really just don’t have a personality of your own. (But I know you do!)

Don’t post a comment at all if you really have nothing to say or if you are posting just to create controversy. A flame war may get you traffic and it will get you noticed but is that really how you want to be known? Besides, that kind of attention is short lived. No one really wants to watch a flame war except the two people in the middle who can’t seem to let go.

Last of all, proofread your comments before you click to post them. Spelling errors are one thing but typos just look clutzy. You can try to avoid them or just not bother and give the impression that you don’t care. Also, don’t leave a comment that is a solid block of text. It is easier to read a long comment if it is broken up into individual thoughts/ ideas.

Happy commenting. Let me know if you have other great commenting ideas.

Meanwhile consider using CoComment. Your comments from other blogs are posted to your own blog in a widget. Nice way to show that you actually do make comments and give links to the blogs you read. Although it is too late for the 31 Day Comment Challenge which utilizes CoComment too.

You can join up IComLeavWe for July, join before the 21st.

IComLeavWe - International Comment Leaving Week Blogging is a conversation and comments are honoured and encouraged. I like to say that comments are the new hug–a way of saying hello, giving comfort, leaving congratulations.

I’ve had email from two insane people in a row today. One was through an online dating site and the other was a guy who invited feedback about his blog.

The first guy I met through a dating site and I had replied to him once and he sent a reply back. His reply had nothing for me to really build a conversation on so I left it for a time when I had something to chit chat about. I had planned to write some chatty emails when I had my other work done. It was personal, not an emergency and after all he didn’t come across as eager. Today he emails me calling me an asshole and saying how I’m pathetic and playing head games. Where the frick does this come from? I didn’t reply back the same day and I’m suddenly deserving of this? It’s insane! Thank God I didn’t ever arrange a date with this flipped out mess. Geez, he sounded like a psycho cause he hadn’t heard back from me after two whole days!!! Kind of scary.

The other one was a website I have read a few times, found through another blog but had not bookmarked or ever left a comment. This time I thought I would email a comment to the site owner. I didn’t say anything particularly inflammatory but the guy had a hissy fit. I had said I liked his blog but I thought he should move his content higher so it wasn’t buried under his spam/ ads. Well, it is good advice. No one can say they like digging down through spam to find content on a site. He called me a troll and a lot of stuff which was not called for. People, if you have a site and invite feedback don’t fly off the handle when you get it. Not everyone is going to think your site is great, some might even offer constructive criticism. I had actually said I liked his site and only offered feedback cause he had asked for feedback.

I know I will get comments now saying what a nasty bitch I am, how unrealistic or arrogant I am and so on and so on. Some people just seem to want to be negative and make sure to rub off on everyone they can. The new bloggers seem to be a lot more about spamming than blogging and people online are a lot angrier than I remember them being just a few years ago. I miss the blogging community, when it was about fun, free writing and exploring what was out here.